Which is more pathetic: A twenty something virgin or a brothel frequenter?

Which is more pathetic: a loner virgin dude in his twenties, or a loner who pays for sex and enjoys the experience instead of just accepting that he'll miss out on that part of life.

  • The virgin who just accepts a life of unwanted celibacy.
    4% (2)19% (11)12% (13)Vote
  • The guy who gives into temptation and pays for it.
    65% (34)49% (28)57% (62)Vote
  • Neither can get laid; they're equally pathetic.
    13% (7)7% (4)10% (11)Vote
  • See answers
    18% (9)25% (14)21% (23)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • So many people talk about "being patient" it seems. Saying you should wait for the "right one", the "one you'll truly love", blah blah... This is girl talk. Of course for a girl it's better to wait. But a guy can not expect ANY girl to "lead him" or "teach him" sex, unless it's a cougar that's into that kind of stuff. Women want, and perhaps NEED a dominant man in bed, which you'll never be able to be if you have no clue of what you're doing.

    The problem is that with total lack of sexual experience comes a LOT of awkwardness in all kinds of situations, and from what I've seen :
    1) It gets way worse as you get older because everybody expects you to be more and more experienced
    2) No matter what any girl says, very, very few of them will actually be OK with a totally clueless guy in bed

    I was still a virgin at 25, it was holding me back and I really felt I needed some sort of experience. I went to see an escort, it brought down a few mental walls I had in my mind, and now less than a year later I'm in my first relationship, with one of the cutest girls I've met. I don't know how long it's gonna last, but for me one thing's for sure, all this talk about "patience" ALWAYS comes from people who did NOT have to be patient.

    It's personal but I'm GLAD I stopped "being patient" when I did, and actually wish I had done it earlier.

    I can't really answer your question, I think it depends on the guy's moral principles, as in if you think it's a "sin" to go to an escort, then it'd be pathetic to go.

    I don't know why you ask this question, if you're hesitating yourself, but I'd say, if you need some experience, go get some one or two times, but then do everything you can to get some experiences with "normal" girls. Once you've had a few "normal" experiences, it's up to you to decide to frequent brothels regularly, at this point it'll just be a choice, not pathetic in my opinion.

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What Girls Said 15

  • The virgin isn't pathetic.

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    • I mean a guy who is in his twenties and has wanted sex since he was a teen, but was just unable to ever get a girl. (Not an asexual or a devout religious guy.)

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    • It's not so much a goal, it's just that he wants to actually experience life and be intimate with a woman.

    • Sure, I think a lot of guys would want that. Still not pathetic. :)

  • I'm guessing you are asking if it's okay for you to pay for sex becuse you want to experience it? Well do whatever you want dude but yes, I think it is a bit pathetic. I mean, if you are in your twenties and a virgin, that is actually quite normal. You are going to find a girl you love and it would be much more intimate to share it with her. And don't focuss on just having sex I mean I hate it when guys can't wait to do it like they are puppies that jump around impatiently or something. That's quite unattractive. Anyway, do what you want and good luck!

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  • I have nothing against guys who are virgins and I don't find it pathetic (even if it's unwanted). A guy who frequents brothels is pretty pathetic. It's like he isn't trying and prefers to spend his time alone because when it's over it's over. The girl stays and he leaves.

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  • Is brothel guy married and if so does his wife know he goes there?

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    • No he's an inept awkward loner like the virgin, only difference is he decided to pay for sex instead of accepting celibacy.

    • Meh. I don't know that I'd use the word pathetic to describe either or them. They each made their choices and now they're making do. Who knows. Maybe virgin guy will meet someone online and brothel guy will get more confident? It's life you know?

  • I don't think either of them are losers

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    • Really? I thought they'd be the exact type of guys that girls would call losers. (Awkward guys that can't get laid.)

    • Sorry, I meant to upvote!

    • I'll give her one for you...

  • The guy in the brothel !

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  • the brothel frequenter

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    • Why do you say that? (For the purposes of this question they're equally awkward/ugly and neither can get laid.)

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    • not a lot of girls are into guys who have been with prostitutes before.. just saying

    • I just wonder who says that she needs to about it? (◡ ‿ ◡ )

  • A guy who pays for sex is more pathetic then a guy who accepts his celibacy

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  • I voted A. I don't think there's anything pathetic about a guy not risking STDs and pregnancy. BUT the idea of a guy paying for sex is semi-hot to me, and all of the risks may be lower? Would they be?

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    • "BUT the idea of a guy paying for sex is semi-hot to me" Seriously?

      It's relatively safe in my country. The women are tested regularly and the check the men for signs of infection, always use condoms and so on.

    • So there would probably be smaller risks with everything then! I think it would be a little hot, because he wouldn't be doing any of the things guys are supposed to do when they want sex from a girl. He's basically saying he doesn't care about any of that; he just wants what he wants and in a fantasy way that's actually hot.

    • A few months back I'd had prostitute tell me it was cool that I'd seen several prostitutes, maybe she saw it the same way... I really can't understand it though, I'd much rather being having sex without having to pay.

  • brothel frequenters are far worse because they are so desperate and socially inept that they have to pay for sex in order for them to obtain it.

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    • In this scenario both guys are equally inept and unable to get laid. One choose to go with out, the other chooses to pay for it.

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    • So going after what wants is more pathetic than accepting he want have it?

    • let me give you an a example that I know many guys like to go by. You know how men get praise for sleeping with many women while women are shamed for sleeping with many men? Well men get praise for being players because getting noncommittal sex is very hard for men to obtain. Where as for a woman it is not hard at all, all she has to do is open her legs. Now apply this example to this situation do you think a an who paid for a women to easily open her legs should get a pat on the back for it? Or should the virgin that practiced patience and persistence who gets that first sense of being a full fledged man when he finally gets a girl to go to bed with him after all his constant attempts get the praise?

  • A brothel frequenter

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    • What makes him more pathetic in your eyes?

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    • 1) I'm talking about a guy was a loner virgin but decided he wanted to experience sexual intimacy and so payed for it. If he'd managed to get a wife/girlfriend he would be doing this.

      2) In my country it's regulated, the women have regular check ups (and so do I), and obviously condoms are always used and genitals are inspected prior to sex.

      3) A little bit? I waited all through school and university, the time when your surrounded by girls and should be able to meet someone.

      Is the virgin much less pathetic in your view?

    • No one is pathetic in my honest opinion... but you didn't really give us a positive choice. You should have put "neither" in there. I would have picked that.

  • Why do guys think virgins are pathetic? I really don't get it...

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    • For guys it is, we all want sex but not all of us can get it. Whereas virgin girls want to be that way, or at least don't mind it, or they would have had sex. Virgin guys want sex, they're desperate for it, they're just to lame/inept to get it, which is pathetic.

      Do you think a brothel frequenter is more or less pathetic?

    • I voted B; I still don't think a guy virgin is pathetic.

  • The brothel frequenter.

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    • What makes him more pathetic? The other guy can't get laid either.

  • I voted B.

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    • The virgin wants sex, he just can't get laid. Why is he less pathetic?

    • He gave in. I don't like people who give in temptations. As a matter of fact, I dislike them.

  • Everyone has different opinions so don't worry about what people will think.
    Personally I find a young unbroken guy an extreme turn on and I'm sure many others do too. It also says something about you, you are not a player which is also attractive to some. (Some women do prefer the bad boy). You are one of the keepers!
    There are women out there who just like to break and conquer though so watch out for those!

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What Guys Said 24

  • I voted B.

    I'm an A, so I think the A-voters and C-voters can go f*** themselves. Being a judgmental ass is more pathetic than focusing on school, trying to be respectful of women, and having higher standards than most girls around me meet.

    Sorry I'm not enough of a horndog to meet your standard on what qualifies as a "man", but I don't give a shit whether or not you are impressed. Maybe I'm just more interested in class than swag.

    Don't act like it's so impressive. A dead man with leftover blood in his crotch can get erect.

    Oh, and FYI, Jon Snow was an A.

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  • "brothel frequenter"
    He gave in to the temptations!

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  • I certainly do not see being a virgin as being pathetic. It is likely a case of waiting for someone who meets his expectations. And I cannot see equating someone who goes to a brothel as pathetic. He wants sex and is not tricking a woman who wants a relationship into casual sex.

    On the other hand, I can see someone looking to shame both of those types as being pathetic.

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    • In this scenario the virgin wants sex just as much as the brothel goer, he's just equally unable to get laid and choose to go with out instead of choosing to pay. He wants sex, he's not waiting, he just can't get it.

      "On the other hand, I can see someone looking to shame both of those types as being pathetic."

      If that's directed at me, I have been both types.

  • I voted C). I am not going to vote B) even if that seems to be the general consensus, mostly because people claim "prostitution is bad". Although to be fair, I don't like the usage of the term "pathetic". Do you know what is pathetic instead? People who don't have children and intend not to have children because "it is too stressful". Do you know what is even more pathetic than that? People who never intended to have children, but they did and now are abusing them.

    There isn't anything objectively wrong about having safe sex with a random person if neither are infected with an STD.

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  • It really depends on the guys' view on prostitution. For me, it's like any other form of entertainment. I could watch sports TV, watch a movie, get drunk or go to a live performance. They all ask for your time, effort and money in exchange so you can get some fun.

    You are buying a service. Just like talking to your lawyer or accountant or consultant or teacher. They provide you a service in exchange for money. Your lawyer might not like you but he will be smiling and provide you with his 'best' professional advice. A prostitute might not like you but will be smiling and perform his/her 'best' for your personal entertainment. Provided they both have professional ethics.

    You can pay for an actual masseuse and get some spa relaxation or pay for the other massage and get the happy ending. It's all the same.

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  • I think brothel guy

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  • Lol so much for "the past is the past"

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  • This is a no-brainer. A person who frequents sex-workers. Yes, and you know who else is pathetic? People who ask pointless questions.

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  • The winners in this opinion are the ones who preferred not to judge both the virgin and the brothel frequenter. ALL THE OTHERS WHO JUDGED ARE ALL PATHETIC LOSERS TO ME. so right on dude both of them the virgin guy and the brothel frequenter are both fucking awesome.

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  • As a 22 year old virgin myself, I do kind of feel pathetic sometimes. However, I think hooking up with prostitutes is much worse. I personally wouldn't want to have sex with anyone I didn't trust and care about, and who felt the same about me. Plus, many prostitutes are human trafficking victims. It's also illegal in my country, and as I'm going to college to become a police officer, it would show a lack of integrity if I did something like that.

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  • Just because you're in your twenties doesn't mean you're going to miss out on the experience your entire life. Jesus, people these days, no patience whatsoever.

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    • So being impatient makes him more pathetic in your view?

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    • I wasn't feeling pressured, I just wanted to experience sex and intimacy. I waited years before resorting to prostitution, it's hardly that impatient. (I specified a guy in his twenties.)

    • Well that's your choice, man. I have no reason to judge.

  • Brothels aren't cheap, so those guys deserve a little respect. Very little, but a little.

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  • The answer is (E), that creepy rapist looking type.

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  • I guess it's the second option as the guy who doesn't pay for sex and is still a virgin, he must be patient and clean at least or just maybe didn't found that right person yet?

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  • Making a comparison about something like that :D

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  • The brothel bird... Definitely...

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  • there's more to life than sex. loser is judging people for not having sex.

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    • I'm talking about a guy who wants to be have sex but can't get laid, in this scenario the virgin doesn't want to be a virgin.

  • Well im 23 never had a girlfriend or sex

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  • I was pathetic but I am changing my ways.

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  • Dude, what is wrong with visiting brothels? Why would you even want to pay attention to other people's opinions? Just go for it.
    Y'know, I say: Going to brothels is like going for a shit on the toilet. You don't talk about it to others, they don't really want to know it. Just go, you don't have to notify anyone else.

    I am 22 now and lost it at 21. If I still would't have lost it till 23 I made the decision that I would go for and visit a bitch. It is even legal in my country. Hopefully it is legal in yours as well. Go for it dude ;)

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    • and don't tell me that it's wrong to the girl: where is the "it's my body and my decisions'" text that all the girls tell all the time?

    • Oh I already have, I started last year and went to one tonight actually. Ib was jut curious what people think, I'm not actually deciding anything based on this.

    • people will alawys say that brothels are bad lol. But that's just the same thing when a girl is being a hobby-slut. It bugs people for some reason but after all why is that other people's business?

  • i think ask is tryng to find out how pathetic he is.

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    • No, how pathetic people would think he is.

  • It's funny how many men were more judgmental of the virign guy than the one who uses prostitutes. We unfortunately live in a society where your manhood is determined by how much pussy you slay, no matter how you get it, and how tough you act. Seems like things such as accomplishments and overcoming adversity aren't requirements for being masculine anymore.

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  • There's nothing wrong with being a virgin for only a virgin can tame a unicorn! Can a ho do that? I think not!

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  • fuck that dude go pay for sex just so you know it isn't that amazing

    i bet everyone here is going to say some bullshit like there is always someone for you! just wait!! well that isn't always true i don't want to be mean but if having sex will give you some confidence (which it probably would) then go for it

    confidence is what you need if you really want a woman

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