Help with a relationship drifting away?

Started dating my cousins best friend recently met her through my cousin we both fell hard the first day we met, i added her on facebook and got her number cause she wanted to text instead of typing on FB.
She started talking to me and after he just went all uphill we started texting and talking all day after a week or 2 we are now boyfriend and girlfriend, now here's the problem i tried to play the "let her text me first, let her make topics first etc" cause i use to always chase chase chase but after a while she asked me how come i never text her first and stuff. she went to DR on Sunday won't be back till this Sunday. She calls me her bear and she really likes me but i feel like the convos started dying down between us cause we texted so much first week we started talking. But i feel like a week with her in D R without talking or texting (cause she can't its expensive, will make the relationship stronger) i really want us to work between me and her. last thing she told me was after i asked her why she wasn't replying to me faster and what was taking her long to respond she said this "Okay how about i use this trip as a set assessment kind of thing. Because right now im just lost in my emotions. which i think its also what has made me be a crappy igirlfriend. so when i get back and my brain is all clear we speak about this again and come to a logical understand of whats happening is that okay? and then i told her sounds fair and i will cya soon and she goes i will cya soon my bear *kisses* i mean i dont disrespect her or nothing the only thing that was holding us back a bit and started feeling crappy was we use to write like essays while we text now when we text its just like 1 sentence and than reply like 1 hour later or something?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Sounds like you just ran out of fuel, if your talking about every little thing straight away then you won't have anything to talk about later. Doing your own thing once in awhile will help, but if your always together then you won't have anything to talk about because she was right there with you. I don't think this is necessarily a bad thing for you, it just means maybe split your focus between outside and inside. I have heard someone describe a relationship like breathing, you inhale eachother and just absorb everything, but then many people just leave it their and the relationship suffocates. Healthy relationships requires an exhale period where go and have a life hang out with friends, that way when you come back you can breath eachother back in and absorb everything between yourselves again. Hopefully that will solve all your problems.

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    • i just dont want to lose her is all like were still boyfriend and girlfriend i believe she comes back tommorow we haven't spoken in 1 week cause she is in DR but i just hope she doesn't give me the "Oh i thought it over the week and i just want us to be friends" i have a feeling its coming :(

    • We tend to convince ourselves of the worst. It may or may not happen but either way you can't really change it. If you freak out about it you may end up making things worse. Besides, one week isn't a long time, and as they say distance makes the heart grow fonder. I think you will be fine. I'll keep my fingures cross for you anyway (you want need it)

What Girls Said 4

  • Dude you can text through whatsapp

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    • doesn't it cost if she's in DR and im in florida?

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    • think she has a iphone if im not mistaking

    • Then she can dl the app.

  • Well... I'm not expert here, but maybe it could be that, apart from being expensive, she's taking her time to weigh her new relationship status, as I could understand, you only have been official for a couple of weeks. Maybe she's having a good time there.
    If you've talked about this before, I suggest to wait her to come back and try again face to face. Now, you can also try texting longer as you used to, and see if she still likes it but is just adapting to shorter texts. good luck!

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    • she's pretty much just like me we dont usually go out just stay home watch tv all day but i haven't spoken to her since last Sunday she comes back this Sunday im planning to take her to the zoo and bought her a present im just hoping when she comes back she tells me she had missed me and wants to see me and we can continue the relationship :/ she knows i really like her a lot but its like she wants me to show it to her and put effort just like i want her to show it and she needs to show effort as well sometimes i just dont know what to text about or what to bring up im just hoping she didn't get over me when she comes back :(

  • It'll be alright, she might just need a little space while she's away.

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    • its not that she wanted space its more like we want to be together and talk more like the first 2 weeks i started dating and talking to her we would text all day and write essays in a text then last week and before it would die out like we would just wirte like okay hi easy text how do i make it how it was the first week i was with her? she wants the same as well

  • Don't tell her to respond faster. She will end up viewing you as overbearing and/or desperate. You should give her some time alone and you should let her reach you.

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    • well i technically didn't say speed it up i just dont know what or how to start convos lately cause like will start texting and then next thing you know we run out of stuff to say :/

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    • You need to be more... umm spontaneous and determined in order to spark her attention.

    • ughhh :(

What Guys Said 3

  • You can't spark it
    It's just the way it's
    And it's way too soon to say whether or not the relationship fails
    So chill out everything is fine

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  • Don't lose yourself in the relationship. You've got to be OK with or without her.

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  • U like any realationship u slow down but urs happened real quick, which is not a good sign. see if u can fix it.

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