Why do some guys run when they find out you have a child?

Im not asking them to father my child, I get with them cause I WANT to be with them... Why do they all run away?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Because you need to look at it that way - that choosing to be with you is equal to not only establishing a relationship, but to them, also like an adoption of a kid that isn't theirs. Some guys don't want kids at that point, especially if they aren't theirs. Some are more open to the idea, especially if they have more resources (time/money) at their disposal.

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What Guys Said 7

  • If you have a kid and we start dating amd end up in a relationship my responsibility would be to keep you and your kid happy. I'm in no place to be reaponsible for a kid as well as a relationship at this point in my life and I frankly don't want to enter the drama or maybe even raise another man's kid. There are also plenty of single girls out there with no kid, it's an easy choice.

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  • They don't all run away. I married a woman with 2 daughters. I also had custody of my son. We formed a blended family nine years ago this month.

    In that context, you can see that parents that are single and dating come as a package deal unless you have no intention of seeking a committed relationship.

    Perhaps then it is not your child that drives them away but rather the limited purpose you have for your relationship.

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    • Im talkin about the guys I've tried being with not all guys in general

    • I recognize that. I'm just trying to reframe your thinking. If ALL guys have done that, then ALL guys will do it too. You simply come to attract what you are seeking.

  • Some guys just do not want to deal with the responsibility and because whether or not you ask them to father the child they are filling that role of being the male figure in the child's life. You may want to be with them, but unfortunately they have to WANT to be with both of you

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    • They say they do but then they leave me for a lady with older kids or more than one.

    • Psh well who knows then? Hopefully you find a guy who will be a really good man, partner, and father figure to your child

  • Because they fear that they are going to have to be the dad to the kid or they might not get as much attention from you/be tied down to where you live, not be able to do as much fun stuff because of the kid. That's my guess because id be open to dating a woman with kids.

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  • For one a child has to have a dad and every guys knows the child ties a mom to a dad out there somewhere. Another thing is a child is a lot of responsibility and a lot of guys don't want the responsibility of another guys child. And then there have also been cases of guys getting nailed in courts having to pay for another dads child. I know that sounds crazy but it's true. Some guys also feel a child will take all the attention away from them.

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  • player! i could'v been in a similar situation. aside from some complications which i'd rather not talk about-would i have wanted to raise a child? hell no, would i? yes

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    • didn't mean it like that xD i mean being with a guy not a lot xD

    • it's basically the samething.

  • Humans deserve to suffer.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Because they see the child as a package deal. If they end up committing to you, than they'd have to commit to the child as well, and that's a big deal. Some guys are just not ready for that responsibility because they may feel like they have to give up on a lot of their freedom

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    • but if they Are the father and they run away, than like that person said, they're being cowards. I was talking about the guys who aren't the biological fathers of the child

  • Cowardice to take responsibility for their actions.

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  • Maybe they're scared to be a father or don't want to be a father right now.

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