Should I go for a guy I think is nice but not attracted to (yet)?

This guy friend of mine (who has been friendzoned) have been persistently nice to me even after I rejected him, got into a relationship, and intentionally ignored him during my relationship (due to jealous bf).
I moved away to another city a year ago and broke up with my ex a few months ago.

I talked to him throughout the past two years, and after I moved away, he sent things (flowers, small gifts) that would cheer me up and really cared about me unconditionally.

I don't know if I should give him a chance or not. I am not attracted to him, but I like being loved. I told him before many times to stop what he is doing, that I didn't want to lead him on, but he said he just wanted to me to be happy.

  • End it ( cut him out of your life for his sake )
    0% (0)36% (4)27% (4)Vote
  • Give him a chance ( pretend to like him even though its unfair to both...)
    75% (3)45% (5)53% (8)Vote
  • Let him be ( maybe it will die off... after another 2 years)
    25% (1)19% (2)20% (3)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I have one question for you to help you out. I was in a similar situation once where a guy really liked me, but I wasn't attracted yet. Here is what will help you out, the answer to this question: "does the thought of kissing him REPULSE you?" If it doesn't, he is worth giving a shot. I gave a guy a shot I wasn't into at first, but the attraction grew so much the more I let him in and got to know him. However, if you give him a shot and go on I'd say at least five dates, and feel NOTHING still, then cut it off. But attraction can grow and wax and wane, and it's hard to find a guy who will treat you so well. It really is. If the thought of kissing him repulses you, you will never be attracted, so don't bother. I hope I helped! :)

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    • Thank you! It does help a lot to imagine being intimate with him, and surprisingly it doesn't repulse me. Actually I also gave my ex a chance and that was how we started. Although I did grow feelings for him, it was a big mistake to date him, because subconsciously I knew at first I didn't date him for a reason, but got lost in his charm in chasing me. Congrats to you and your guy, it is reallllllly hard to find someone who treats you like a princess.

    • Thanks! I hope it all works out well for you too! It's taken a while for me to find such a great guy, and I am just had I did and I gave him a shot! :)

What Guys Said 4

  • If you were a real friend and not selfish about it, you should talk to him and let him know "you can't be doing nice things like this for girls that don't appreciate you". Have a bro talk (even though your a girl) and let him know it's not healthy for his sake to be doing this. Just saying it would be selfish if you didn't because a lot of woman love the attention even if they don't ever plan on dating the guy. Be a true friend and talk to him about getting a back bone and stop giving gifts to woman that don't care about him the same way.

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    • I know I am being selfish. And I have brought this up many times with him. I think I wasn't been firm about it, and also he never listened and said he is simply doing it as a friend. I will have a talk with him though, and hopefully this one will work.

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    • @Eric644 yeah, but the issue is he is overly creepy nice. Giving gifts etc... regardless this question is months old I'm curious to hear what happened from OP

    • yeah giving gifts might be a little over board. It would be ok if the guy was nice and supportive but gifts , whoa that's overdoing it.

  • Bad idea..

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  • You have to be careful with those types... I know, I used to be one.. And still am... kinda.

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    • ... Yeah, that is something I wish would not come back and haunt me years down the road.

  • If you don't mind sharing, what is it about him that you so strongly dislike but does not prevent you from actually being friends with him?

    Is this something he can improve upon? Like if he were always a complainer, but then he stopped complaining or if he were always lazy, but then started to become hard-working, something along those lines?

    I have been trying to understand this for years, how a woman can actually be friends with a guy, talk to him, joke with him, have a good time with him, share your deepest thoughts with him but in spite of that he is not good enough to be more than a friend. I am a guy who has been able to carry meaningful conversations with beautiful women that shared interests with me, and I've even been able to make them laugh and say sweet things to me. I'm not the hottest or most interesting man in the world, but at the same time, I know it isn't my looks or interests that get in the way - some of the guys who have beaten me have both looked worse, been less intelligent, and had some of the same interests as me. Yet it is me who never seem to be able to take it to the next level.

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    • Girls don't always see that until it's too late. By then, it's either we are too deeply hooked onto the other guy or there isn't chemistry between the good guy anymore.

      Girls are all about the feels.

      To be brutally honest, I talk to him because he is intelligent, we can have intellectually stimulating conversations. He is caring and persistent, and I feel compelled to reply him.
      I don't feel attracted to him because there is no chemistry, it feels more like politeness than intimacy. And there is height. Sorry to be shallow, but it's important to me :$
      I don't know, for me, it's almost like a guy has to upset me and find a way to make me laugh after that. When i go upset, it means I care. Simply making a girl smile is important but it can mean many things : funny, politeness, touched, or affection. :) Don't worry, anyone that can put smiles out won't be single for long!

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    • height is a stupid reason for not liking a guy, so what if he isn't 6 feet tall!!! Go for it, you may end up liking him

    • opinion owner, if you are portraying an innocent image to her, you got to stop that, stop it now!!! Act less innocent towards her and be a little bit of a jerk, sorry girls like jerks

What Girls Said 1

  • He may be worth it if he came back to you after you tried to cut

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