Why do girls seem interested, and suddenly they just seem to step back?

So this happened several times, I get to meet a girl and she seems to be interested.. we have a talk and most probably a long one! I always can see they are interested, so focused and so "eagre to know more" they mostly would have a wide smile most of the conversation and a few laughs because I get sometimes sarcastic with the topics I'm threading. Adding that they always said things like "Oh you're funny" - "Oh you're sweet" - "Oh you're so kind"..

This is only day one, later on if we'd meet they only say few words in enthusiasm but that's it they don't try to open conversations and not seem so wanting to know more like the first time. If I open subjects I'd get only few words in replay and that's it. Only then I'd need to approach them all the time and I'd need to keep opening new subjects all the time but they don't!

I think a'lot okey?, so I always assume that maybe I said something they didn't like or Honestly I don't really know whats wrong!

Any Ideas? adding that I like to talk into topics but, also I am a good listener.. I like to talk about personal experiences and give advices and so on. Thinking about it, they would keep asking me stuff and I'd keep answering and threading experiences for hours but I never asked back so they would thread stories themselves too.. :) Would that be it?

Not that if they tried to say anything I'd cut them off.. not at all I'm a good listener and I really would love to listen to experiences from everyone, they just dont try to talk they just ask and listen all the time heh :/

Don't know haha I know that girls can get kinda unreasonable :PP, should i just care less? is that fine? I understand I can't know what is in everyone mind but yeah.. I always wondered.

Sorry if I made that long :)


Most Helpful Girl

  • I see a few things it could be:

    1) You're saying the wrong thing (s). The more a guy talks to a woman, the greater the chance that he puts his foot in his mouth somewhere along the way. Many women will play along so as to not offend you or get into a confrontation with you, and pretend like you're not getting on their nerves or haven't done anything wrong. But if you're talking a lot with them, i. e. a long first conversation, and you're not sticking to very safe subjects, odds are good you've said something wrong.

    2) You're not asking about them or her opinion. And this is always a problem. You can't just talk and say, "Oh, she's not contributing anything, so let me keep talking to fill the space." Show interest in a girl, and she will appreciate it and warm up to you more. No one wants to hear someone just talk all the time, either.

    3) You're not moving fast enough, if your interest is to ask her out. If any of those times you were talking to a woman she was interested in you--talking about the first conversation--and you spent all that time talking to her and still didn't ask to, at least, trade contact information, she probably gave up on you and/or got offended or exasperated because you didn't "close the deal."


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What Girls Said 3

  • Hmm, how to word this. Everyone has there list of standards. Often questions people have are seeing if you fit them. If you made it that long, you probably fit the looks department, but you've just made it to the shallow end of the pool, you have to make it out in to the deep end to stand a chance. After looks come other standards, attitude, sense of humor, talents, ambitions, goals in life, what you want out of a relationship, lifestyle, stability, not being in dept, etc. Odds are your just strikeing out in one of these from each of the girls.

  • Some girls might just want to take things slower than what your providing them with. Just your roll a little bit and let her try to pick up the speed.

  • Maybe their just interested in that one day? Some girls may like you one day and others they don't care. We're a complicated species. Best of luck


What Guys Said 2

  • Terms like "Oh you're funny", "Oh you're sweet" and "Oh you're so kind" are certainly terms of endearment, but they don't show interest. Even reading them out loud you can hear a slight tinge of sarcasm in it, especially when a girl says it.

    Let me explain something about women: when they like you, they'll make it easy for you. They won't play games. If you find yourself a woman who you feel is "Interested" one day but then not interested the next, it's probably because she doesn't like you in that way and you're not ready her signals properly.

    However, it could be that they're interested in you in the first place, but then you do things that turn her off and lead her not be interested. Spending hours on the phone talking about how shit the weather is or how college is are things she talks to her best girl friends about. She doesn't want to talk that to a potential boy friend.

  • Who knows? Girls are mysterious creatures us guys will never understand, bro.