Are my standards too high?

I attract quite many men and get lots of attention, but I can´t keep them. After a while it turns out that they were in it only for sex.

I´m softspoken, successful and people call me pretty (I´m rather cute than beautiful), but still only a hookup, not a girlfriend.

What I´m doing wrong? Does it mean that I´m picking guys that are out of my league?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • No Its not you need to find yourself good guys though

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What Guys Said 8

  • I had a friend, very attractive and she'd complain "why are all the guys i get with such tools?"

    I told her she picks guys who have some sort of internal conflict and somewhat unstable. I've seen her pass up incredible guys but because they just seemed "normal" she would reject them for no real reason (she'd make up something just to justify her lack of attraction).

    It has to do with her upbringing which was sort of chaotic and being raised in such an environment, she actively seeks the same type of personality. Maybe to reflect hers, maybe that's what she knows and can identify with? I have no idea, it's just an observation i've had over the years of friendship.

    Now i am not saying this matches what you are going through but you can see how something like this affects the males you go for.

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  • Generally speaking guys will hook up with girls who are below their "league" but they will not commit to them. So the short answers is that if this is happening to you are a regular basis you are most likely shopping out of your league.

    But there is good news here. What we consider "leagues" is simple how much value someone has to offer another in a relationship. For example an assertive guy who runs his own business has more value and thus in a higher league than a guy who plans video games all day.

    A women in her 20s who is in great shape has more value than a women 50s who is overweight.

    Now the good news is that there are things you can do to improve yourself to the point where you will have more value to offer. Such as working out, learning to skills, developing a more charismatic personality etc .

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  • Honestly, I've been with women I knew I didn't want to be with long-term. And they have gone on to be with much. better. guys. than me. From much higher leagues.

    Attraction is really subjective.

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  • Seems like your picker is off. What kind of guys do you go for?

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  • No such thing as leagues - You just haven't found right guy for you yet

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  • Maybe possibly

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    • You are cute but maybe just not the whole package and some hot guys don't want that I don't know.

  • we would need to see a pic for further evaluation. As a good looking guy i dont feel the need to commit to any one girl

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  • Not necessarily is it you. Could be the guys. Most guys just want sex.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Or just picking guys who only want sex. How long do you make them wait for it? Do they take you out on dates/buy you gifts before?

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