Men of TODAY seem to only have one motive?

Alright, so I'm single & tool a break from dating after the split. Now that I'm getting back out there, it seems guys only have one motive. Which happens to be sex.

I've been asked out on date's from people who I work with to patients. I'm pretty shy/awkward in person & I am NOT use to people paying attention to me. Never thought men would find me attractive because I'm not thin. So all of this is new to me. Anyways, They are all sweet and nice in the beginning, claiming they aren't looking for sex, but for something "genuinely real" (pfft, bull). Out of nowhere they want sex. It happens every single damn time lol.
I don't dress provocatively, no mixed signals, my conversations are always weird and awkward. The guys that are shy and timid seem to have more issues than I can handle. I don't go for the "pretty boys" "the physical fit/attractive men" (not like they'd even speak to me aha) I usually go for physical I honestly don't care about looks, so I'm not picky.. (I've gone out with bigger men, average sized, any back ground, even with a guy who set himself on fire and became deformed in the face) I'm really open as you can tell, I believe in giving people a chance, because that's what I'd want for myself...

When it comes to women I have luck in that department, the ones I've gone out with are usually straight up about what they are looking for. If it doesn't work out we become friends. It's just the men, they aren't honest about their motives, it's not hard to say "Hey, I'm looking for some quick booty"

I don't understand, are men today just not interested in getting to know someone first? (this also happens when I'm just looking for friends, they'd rather be Feb though)

Sigh/ if you are nothing like the men I have had bad experiences with, why get offended?


Most Helpful Guy

  • These guys are lying because they feel like if they are upfront they will ruin their chances. Women have the luxury of being able to be more forward because when men do it it's risky and not always well received but if a woman does it it's considered sexy. If women had the same social constraints as men in that regard they would also lie to you. It's not a problem with men it's a problem of people lying to serve their own interests. Don't make the mistake of thinking women are honest either, the lies are just different because of differing agendas and social standards.

    • The women that I end up talking to are always upfront about what they want. Don't get me wrong I've met some creepy women but they are usually straight up "look, I want some fun tonight" I've had probably 2 guys be straight up. I respected it, because they were being honest. Just not a fan of telling me one thing the doing the opposite, yard know?

    • I understand why you don't like men who lie but I stand by my point. If a man is that straight forward, it can get him laid, but it is more likely that it will blow up spectacularly in his face. Women, especially really attractive ones, who are straight forward know that even if they get rejected they won't be berated. For women, being bold is low risk high reward. For men, it is high risk high reward. So naturally women will be more straightforward in that regard.

    • Ah, I understand your point. Thank you for letting me see a different point of view


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What Guys Said 10

  • People going to have ulterior motive one way or another

  • At your age the sea is full of guys who want sadly nothing but sex. So in order to find the right guy that one in a (?) that will stick around you don't give in to sex. The one who sticks around is the guy that matches who you are looking for.

    • Aw, why didn't you comment earlier. ? Aha, GaG should consider "numerous mho's". Thank you for the positive feedback

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    • Aw, we'll you're welcome & your advice is highly appreciated 😊

    • Thank you I appreciate that! :)

  • Men of always have been sex motivated. You just live in a time where it's common for women to hate and try to change the nature of men.

    • The last part is off topic, people love sex. It would just be better if you actually KNEW the person before jumping into bed with a stranger. I don't try to change anyone, when you're with someone that shouldn't be the motive, should be helping them be the best version of their self

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    • A case in point: The guys here trying to prove to you that they aren't like that (for some odd reason). They're trying to pander to you and make you feel like they're some special case hoping to get praised for it.

      By the way, that photo of you is sexy. I don't know why you consider yourself a bigger girl; You're not. You look like Teyana Taylor. and she's gorgeous.

    • I agree with that, everywhere & I mean everywhere I see these "equality" "men are evil" , I only pout because I end up with one's that can't be honest. I like sex, scratch that I love each sex.. I just would rather be intimate with some I ha e some sort of chemistry with. Would rather be in a relationship with that person... Poor, the truth you speak saddens me ahaha..

      Thank you very much, ah I guess I just see something totally different than others. Thank you for the feedback 😊

  • I want a loving relationship but I'm not outgoing. Outgoing guys will generally just want sex.

  • Those naughty men! :D

  • I don't mean to sound rude but usually when a guy dates a big girl he is with her because big girls usually give it up easily. I'd not do this though

    • Where did you hear that? It depends on the person individually.

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    • whatever you say

    • They aren't use to the attention *

  • Stop generalizing so much. Not all guys only want sex, you're just attracted to the wrong kind of guy.

    You should pay more attention to the shyer guys, as the extremely confident alpha males often only want sex.

    • You are such a snake playing off her bad experiences to try and boost your own chances.

      That's called manipulation dawg.

    • Did you not read the whole thing? I stated shy and timid guys (the ones that contact me) usually have issues.. Issues that I'm not up for. Last thing I want is a guy who would kill me or himself if something happened

  • Oh, so many Feminist questions my head hurts.

    • I'm not even a feminist lol, I don't even pay attention to the who equality thing lol. These are simple questions, why can't people be honest about what they are looking for

  • Men of today?
    Do you really think it was ever different? :D :D :D

  • Well women only have one motive too, which is money, so I guess all is fair and love and war.

    • Those are gold diggers, I will say when I settle down I want the person I'm with to be financially stable/ to know how to handle money.. Responsibly

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    • Uhh, did you not read my novel of a question? It was mainly about "WHY can't PEOPLE BE HONEST ABOUT WHAT THEY ARE TRULY LOOKIBG FOR."

    • I mean it was obvious, I stated it a couple times. I can go into detail for if you'd like.

      I meet someone & I'm straight up about what I'm looking for, & he insists he is looking for something "real" then once we go out on a date EVERYTHING he said get thrown out the window, because he couldn't be honest in the beginning.

      Is that better

What Girls Said 2

  • Hmmm I think your best bet is to just accept that thats just how a lot of guys are. I mean its not like u can change them. I've been in your position before until I basically gave up. Once he gives me that kinda vibes I dont try to make him change his mind. I dont feel bad or mad that he only wanted to use me for sex either. I just start ignoring the shit out his txt/call til he gets the picture. (tired of explaining to him, "I would like to get to know u better before I come over" ) So first u gotta accept the reality. second, some guys are kinda obvious with it from early on... dont bother wasting your time. just try to get to know him a bit more. Also, I heard that when guys dont talk in the future or they dont ask nonsexual questions about u.. (no questions about ur interests or dreams) that may be a sign that he only wants to get laid.

    • Ooh, I never try and change anyone. This is usually how everything goes.

      -he starts talking, (small talk). Days go by and he finally asks me out, I'm usually well always hesitant. I ask what his true motives are; I always get "I'm not looking for sex, yea sex is nice but it would be better with someone I'm actually" with"

      Date night, everything is peachy. Then boom, his body language changes conversations turn from interesting /funny to "so do you shave" "do you like cut or uncut" i even had one guy sit there and "adjust" himself for a good 4/5min, not even over exaggerating lol... I just end up with guys who can't be honest lol it's so hard to point out signs when people men/women are professionals at hiding everything

    • Wait. Are they asking those type of questions on the first date?😳

      I agree 1000% that signs are hard to detect. some guys are really good at it. I think u should ask others (that u confide in) for their input. sometimes obvious signs fly pass us that others can detect. trust me regardless of how good a guy is at it, there's always a sign or two laying around.

      In my first post I meant " dont waste ur
      time on guys who are obvious with it. just try to get to know him a bit more. (another guy that is. Not the one who's obvious with it)

    • Nonono lol, those are the questions I received from them 😅😅

      I'm just trying to be optimistic when it comes to dating, it's slowly decreasing with time

  • Where are you meeting these guys at exactly? and are they your age?

    You're so pretty by the way lol

    • I work at a clinic /Dr office in Knoxville. My only time to actually be somewhat social /meet people. I usually get hit on by elderly men, then you have the ones around my age Aha and thank youu

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    • Ooh that's good then and you're welcome, I hope it goes well!

    • Thank youu 😊😊