Dating and I can't tell my parents?

I'm in a interracial relationship and I can't tell my mum because I'm afraid. She's not racist, I can have white friends but I can't date them.
I'm even afraid to tell her i've been dating him for a while now and that he's white. I'm 17 years old, 18 in 4 moths time.
I can't bring him to my neighborhood because here we all know each other and they could tell my parents.
What can I do?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • If they already aren't racist then you have an easier time to get acceptance. I don't know your situation due to your age, but it could also be they are a bit protective of you for dating just about anyone. But allowing someone friends but no boyfriend of a different race is still prejudiced. My own mother was like that and I dated an Asian as my first "real" boyfriend at 16. I had to ease her in to it, but when she realized how happy I was, the issue of his race bothered her less, and he helped her knock whatever stereotype problem she had with Asians. Like your mom, I could have all the friends I wanted, but she was old school and just expected I'd end up with a white guy.

    Even with my husband (I'm in an interracial marriage), I had to ease her in to it by letting her know I 'made a new friend' and when she batted around some jokes of his ethnicity just trying to have fun, I eventually stopped her and she asked why I was suddenly so protective, and I said, "Did it occur to you that maybe I like him more than that?" She said, "Ohhhhhhh." But the trick was always getting her to just like him first so that when she learned of our relationship she wasn't suddenly shocked by it without even knowing who he is.

    I'd tell her you're friends with him and how much you care about him and let her just ease in to that, then if she's anything like how my mother was, she'll end up liking him too much to care and won't deny the new happiness she sees in her daughter because of him. :) Good luck!

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    • Thank you so much. You've got amazing mum

What Guys Said 3

  • That's going to be tough, but sooner or later you have to tell your parents about him

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    • Yeah, I know

    • I'm the same since Caucasian is my preference, but my parents wants me to marry someone that's either full Filipino or half Asian

    • At least my parents had accepted my SO because we known each other since highschool

  • Eventually you're gonna have to tell her, but in the mean time make sure that what you have with him is serious. . As of matter of fact, use that as a test to see the real feelings of your boyfriend, ask him if he's willing to meet your mom.

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    • That's is what I will do, i tough that too, and you just think exactly the same as me, thank you.

    • You're welcome and good luck

  • Don't tell your parent. If you tell it everything may be worse. I saw same one.

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    • Really? What happend? I'm scared now

    • I'm atheist and my wife said it her mother. Her mother, her sister, her uncle tried our departure. We had to escape and we escaped other city.

    • OMG really? And she hasn't heard from her mom or anything?

What Girls Said 2

  • It's unfair to him if you are hiding the relationship, It's almost as if he embarrasses you... which shouldn't be the case. If you want the relationship to work you'll need to get it out in the open.. if your parents can't accept it then you will have to decide to let them control your feelings or fight for him.

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    • I'm 17, they can stop me from going out, and if they do that I can't see him.

    • True but if a mother and father would stop their daughter from being happy over a racial difference I would have to call them racist. On the other hand as Ozanne said some parents have the idea they need to be overprotective.. if that's the case i say you at least need to give them the right to get to know him and show them the reason why you want to be with him.

    • Yeah, Thank you so much.

  • You have to tell them. He's important to you, don't hide that

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    • My big brother said I shouldn't tell her, I should be carefull

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