Is this cheating?

I was intensely attracted to a guy, who also liked me, within a few days of meeting each other. We met up at his house for a casual meeting, which ended up with us sleeping together.

Now, the guy is very hurt that I am not as serious about taking the relationship forward as he is. He says I am cheating him. While I am ready for an open relationship, I definitely don't want to pin myself down to one person. Is it my fault that he has such conservative views?

Updates:
Where are guys' opinions?
I need opinions. Really confused ATM.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • why would you be at fault for his views? however, it is necessary that either you eliminate your desire for a friends with benefits and nothing more and make him believe it or you refuse to contact him in any way or in minimal ways so he knows you don't want his relationship but not until you give him that non-relationship speech (again, if need be) and tell him how it's going to be. I feel that it's up to you to make the decision in this case, don't make a lovesick man suffer anymore. I don't know how you're cheating because you have never been in a relationship, it was casual sex. I think your more concerned that his views are your fault (which they aren't, though to me, if you care enough to ask this question, you do care enough about him... for it to bother you.)

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    • I will be meeting him at work today. Its tough to face him. Will I be better off quitting the job, coz he appeared aggressive in his messages?

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    • *if you don't

    • Thanks for ur insight! I am going to meet him shortly. I want to try once more to make him understand my POV.

Most Helpful Girl

  • If you are not technically together than i don't think it can be considered cheating. However some people do not want to go into open relationships and you may have to be prepared for him to not want to. I don't think you should give in though if it is not what you want. Sometimes people just want different things

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    • The thing is I still would like to be friends with him and see where it goes.. only if he stops threatening me and acting very hurt.

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    • Yeah, I think I should do that. Thanks for ur time. :)

    • No Problem :) Hope it goes alright

What Guys Said 2

  • You hurt the guy, he thought you wanted a serious relationship with him and when he found out you don't he felt you where using him. Now I am not saying you did this on purpose just saying how he feels.

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    • I am not even breaking up with him. I only told him I don't want him to call us a 'couple' and since then, he has turned really aggressive... so far in words.

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    • The whole thing happened spontaneously. I have been avoiding his calls for the past week, but will have to face him at work tomorrow.

    • Well the problem is he thought he had found a woman to have a meaningful relationship with, he started liking you and then found out after you had slept with him that you are not really interested in him. He now feels hurt and used. I think at work you need to leave him alone and get on with your job. He has every right to feel hurt. I think you need to give him time to calm down.

  • I believe this is were the word miscommunication comes into play but you did also hurt him but it was more unintentional.

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    • He never really hesitated when we were together. I had talked about my casual views about sex. How can he still blame me?

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    • We didn't really discuss our future, as it was just 2 weeks since we met. But I did tell him about a few casual relationships that I had had. He never questioned me further on that.

    • then I'd say it's on both of you, for not being more clear with each other on your intentions or what you wanted.

What Girls Said 2

  • he wanted a real relationship and you wanted an open relationship... you hurt him

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    • I never forced him into the physical relationship. It happened naturally, both are fully responsible. How can he blame me alone?

    • he didn't expect that from you

  • If you were upfront, no, it isn't. If you didn't make it clear or implied that things were otherwise, then he has reason to be upset. Sit down and talk to the man. Straighten out the ground rules, openly.

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    • He is acting hurt and aggressive right now. I am not picking his calls for the past week. He seemed very easy going initially. Looks like I trusted the wrong person.

    • well, now you know. go find a man that is respectful and most of all more mature. Best of luck.

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