Girls, what should I do to get her?

Sorry for the long post, but here goes. I've liked her for more than a year. She was my junior in high school and we were both in the same CCA. I've graduated last year but I still have the same feelings about her. At first she seemed kinda into me; we talked a lot on whatsapp, we hung out a few times and when we pass each other at school we always waved and joked a bit before moving on. However, there was a month-long break where I didn't talk to her much due to lack of topics. After the holiday, I still tried to talk to her but a few months later I found out that she had a boyfriend, but I know that it didn't happen until after that holiday. When I found out, I only text her texting during holidays i. e. Christmas, new year, etc. out of respect of her relationship. However, about two months ago, she broke up. Not exactly on good terms. I told her if she wanna talk I'm all ears. After that I started to text her more again. I'd send funny stuff to make her smile, and I'd remind her to go to church every week (we're both Christian) because I think it's just a nice gesture and I was doing that before anyway. The problem is, she would reply to every convo starter, with a really excited tone, but sometimes, she doesn't read the last message (there's the blue tick in whatsapp to tell if she's read the message). She probably actually forgot to reply, but I don't really know. Now, I don't know if she's over her ex or not, but I wanna pursue a relationship with her. A part of me says she's not ready yet, or at least wants to be know more about a guy first, but another part of me says she actually wants me to make a move but she's getting frustrated of me not making a move, and hence the lack of replies. I still think she has some kind of feelings for me, and I don't think we're on bad terms now. So what do I do? Thanks! Just fyi, we live in different countries now, albeit still close. I can still visit her country once before I go to uni, but that's pretty much it.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Sounds like this relationship has hit quite a few hurdles! You said her other relationship ended on bad terms so it might be that she likes you but just worried of opening up to someone again and getting hurt. Time is probably the best healer for that. If you live far away she might be worried about getting into a relationship where you won't be able to see each other very much.
    If she isn't reading your messages that sounds like she just got busy or distracted more than she doesn't want to speak to you.
    Maybe try asking her to spend some time together in person, that way you can speak more and it might be easier to tell whether she is worried about getting hurt again.
    Hope this helps

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    • Thanks for the advice! I will probably be flying over there soon. My plan is to ask her out and just spend the day together and, if I have enough balls, ask her to be my girlfriend.

      That's actually my concern too; that we won't be physically close if we were together. That may be the dealbreaker were I to really ask her to be my girlfriend.

    • Very exciting! Hope it all goes well. If you care enough about someone i think you can make it work. It just takes a bit more trust and patience than if you lived nearby. It may be that she is just worried but does feel the same.

What Girls Said 4

  • I don't think there's anything you can do. She just had a bad break up two months ago. That's very little time to get over someone, or to be ready to jump to the next relationship. Besides, you live in different countries now. Long distance relationships rarely work out, unless there's a solid plan that either of you will move closer. Vague plans like "maybe within a couple of years or so" never work. You need to have a specific date you're working towards. Otherwise you will only end up feeling hopeless and as if the relationship isn't going anywhere. So if she isn't quickly ready to move for you, or if you aren't quickly ready to move for her, pursuing a relationship with her would be pointless.

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  • Ask her out? by the way you sound like you're from Singapore (CCA?)

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    • Yeah! I went to Singapore until I finished my A Levels. So she's Singaporean but I'm Indonesian

  • You should ask her out!! You don't want to look back and ask what if? go all out!

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  • I think this is a lost cost to be honest.

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