Girls, do you ever get to a point where the newness wears off and you're like... eh, he either steps it up or he can disappear?

I think I'm over trying to keep it going with this guy. Grant it, he's got a lot going on and we have amazing chemistry, I am just getting tired of his inability to pursue me and make moves. I'm sad to say I'm to this point - even though I know he's a good guy that is extremely shy and intimidated by me - but I am done waiting and making moves. Is that a bad thing? Have you been in this situation before? What happened?


0|0
9

Most Helpful Girl

  • I have and I have moved on.
    I had a few very nice dates with a guy, we seemed to hit it off, we also cooked together and he spent the night a couple of times, he was respectful and basically a really great guy. But he was too slow/passive for my taste. When I noticed that it wasn't moving forward really, I asked him what was up. He didn't want to seem pushy...
    See I don't have a lot of patience and honestly didn't feel like wasting another couple of months or more on "something" that is not going anywhere. I needed someone with the same temperament/character as mine. You know, you like it, you go for it. Simple.
    So on that side we werent compatible, which would have brought problems in the future anyway.

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 8

  • I think you're half way into convincing yourself what you should do. You are not obligated to stay with a guy because you "hope" things will get better. Your feelings were a bit stronger at one point and now they aren't. There is nothing wrong with that and you shouldn't feel guilty about your feelings. If he can't step up the way you need him to and things are just sort of staying the same, just let him down gently and go find someone else who can. That's the joy of dating. Plenty of fish in blah, blah, blah, you get it.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yes I was actually in this same situation with my current boyfriend.

    In the beginning everything was perfect but somewhere along the lines it started to feel like I was the only one trying to make an effort to see each other. I know he wanted to see me and he is an amazing person, I just wanted to feel wanted again. I wanted to feel like i was being cashed and not cashing (Not all the time). What i did was tell him how i felt. I knew it might have hurt his feelings but it had to be said. Next thing i know he was at my door with a duffle bag ready to stay the weekend.
    Some times you gotta tell them what they are scared to hear and if he cares enough he'll fix it.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yes 100% if you are finding yourself asking that question he needs to put in more effort or thefe is not serious change. If you want to be with them "make them shit there pants" they will come running however if not it is time to walk away, no point being with someone who is not giving you what you want because you will be searching in him for something not there, i suggest sitting down and talking it out face to face or walking away hun x

    0|0
    0|0
  • It's totally okay to be done waiting for him to make a move. Of course, most girls don't want to make the first move.. why should we? If you back off and stop waiting for him, it will probably even teach him a lesson that he needs to learn how to be more confident and know the right time to make that move! I've never really been in that situation, only when a guy was REALLY forward with me. But yeah, it's not wrong to feel like you're tied of waiting.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yeah plenty of times. It's sad how men are these days

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yeah it happens. My one ex wasn't very affectionate. His family were never lovey dovey types like my family. And it caused rifts in our relationship. I was confused if we were together or friends, because he wasn't as affectionate as other men I've dated have been. In the end it broke us up. He couldn't give me what I wanted, and it was unfair for me to try and change him.

    0|0
    0|0
  • i am going through the same situation but we are long distance and its making it even harder for us. i am honestly at the verge of giving up now.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yes but by that point you have been allowing him to get away with whatever laziness is bothering you so good luck changing it after you broke him in the wrong way.

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...