Is it unreasonable that I won't have Sex with him after 2 weeks of dating (and about 8 dates)?

This guy is 28, im 20. I'm still a virgin. I want to keep it for a bit.. I guess I like being a virgin, yet I wanna have sex badly. But I have good willpower :)
anyways, this guy and I started dating 2 weeks ago. We hit it off wonderfully. Made it official after date 3. However, each time I see him he brings up sex (whether it be in a serious manner or a jokingly & hopeful manner). I keep telling him (a firm) no; that I want to wait; that it is going too fast, etc. And he says he understands yet he continuously brings it up. He seems genuine in wanting something real with me. But it's just so fast. Is this unreasonable of me that I want to wait a few months first?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • When my boyfriend and I first met I was a virgin and he wasn't. Initially it was supposed to be a hookup (I was one horny virgin lol), but I chickened out. We ended up dating tho, and we definitely fooled around a lot tho (mostly for my pleasure cuz I was a noob and didn't really know about hjs and bjs) . But on the second date he pulled out a condom and I was like woah not cool and then the next day he texted me asking when I will be ready and I told him if all he wants is sex then he can go ahead and look elsewhere. After that he said he wouldn't ask again. Then about a month later he asked about sex cuz he was going down to texas to visit his family for a few weeks and I told him that I would consider when he got back. and we did after he got back (i couldn't take it I needed to lose my v cuz I was horny as fuck) But it was 3 months that I made him wait. And he had just gotten back from an 8 month deployment a month before I met him (which i didn't know at the time) and he was still able to patiently wait 3 months for sex with me (that is like a year of no sex). If my boyfriend can do that for me than I am sure that your boyfriend can chill out on asking you about it and no it is not unreasonable at all for you to want to wait. Everything me and my boyfriend did sexually was always at MY pace not his, and now we have the most wonderful sex life ever and I feel that it is because I have never once felt pressured to do something I don't want to do.

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What Guys Said 4

  • You should only have sex if you're comfortable with it, until then it doesn't matter how much time it takes. He needs to respect you by being patient.

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  • if he "understands" he'd shut the hell up about sex. If you want someone that's going to be patient, get someone else.

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  • If you want it, there is nothing more that I can't stand when a woman is not being honest with me. In my opinion you saying no is that example, If you want it but want to wait tell him set a date you want to do it and stick to it. SO he'll stop bringing it up!

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    • Setting a date is always a bad idea she could want to back out of it due to her personal reasons. Which if she does will increase the animosity between them. Also she could feel forced and if she does do it and she will be not mentally invested in it and will end up doing it out of obligation which will just equal bad sex and possible mental scarring.

    • I agree with that but she said she wanted to. So I was saying if she wanted to then do it! lol

  • Sorry honey, sounds like he's out for your v-card.

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What Girls Said 8

  • That's just creepy. You shouldn't be pressured into having sex. You're he one who has something to 'lose' here, if he can't wait and keeps pressuring you then stay away from him

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  • Not unreasonable at all. I think you should be cautious and probably not sleep with him because he's not even trying to hide that sex is a major motivation for him. A guy who truly likes you for the long haul won't be this pressed for the puss especially this early and him knowing you're a virgin. Even if he doesn't know you're a Virgin he has to know you don't have a lot of miles on you and probably take sex more seriously. He might not be the right guy

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  • There's nothing wrong with not having sex yet. It's not unreasonable either! You have the right to say no.

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  • No guy who has any sort of respect for you should continue to pressure you if you have made it absolutely clear to him with words, that you intend to wait for whatever reasons. Its your body and if you feel like you're just going to lose it to him because he keeps asking you and asking you, that's no way to go about it. When and only when, you are ready, that will be the time for you to have sex. If he can't get that, then you should move on to someone who will.

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  • Do it when you feel it is right for you. Remember it is your body and you are your own person. If you decide to have sex you decide because you want it not because you don't have a choice. If he doesn't want to wait for you then obviously he's not the right guy for you.

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  • That's definitely not unreasonable.
    He shouldn't "expect" it.
    But a couple months is a respectable amount of time both ways.

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  • No...
    If that's how you feel then that's how you feel.

    I think waiting a month is good. =)
    Or more - depends entirely on you.

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  • No it is not unreasonable that you wait!! 2 weeks in you really don't know him well enough to truly know his intentions. I think if you give in just to please him and before you are ready you will regret it. Trust me if he cares he will wait until you are ready, without making you feel guilty or bad about it. Right now, I think that is what he's after is your v card. Time will tell, if you wait and he leaves then you know. But a caring respectful man won't force or pressure you to do anything you are not ready for. Do it because you are ready and the time feels right, not because you feel like you have to.

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