Girls, I have some spiteful 'friends' who might bring up an old crush around this girl I'm starting to date, should I beat them to it? How/when?

To clarify... My attempts to get with that crush lost me 100 lbs and got me in shape. It also made me do weed and had me on and off depressed as I dealed with her drug caused mood swings, self harm, and thoughts of suicide.
I hurt myself a lot over this girl, maybe cuz I was sort of rebounding from the first girl I had fallen for, and the only girl I'd ever been on a date with (which was years prior to meeting that girl), I guess I saw a lot of the good qualities of the first girl in that one... And it made me blind to all the negatives. She told me she loved me, and having never been told that... I bought it. Then of course she left me for her Ex before we officially dated.
So, I mean technically she's not an ex... But we both cared for eachother, and I really got messed up for a while after.
My old 'friends' are going to try to bring that whole episode up, and I can't just avoid them forever.
I mean I told her I've never dated...
I haven't I never so much as kissed the girl, it was like a distance thing, and I don't think either of us saw eachother as together... You know?
Would you feel that this is something that should be brought up, would you feel wronged if it never was?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Usually beating naysayers to the punch is the best strategy but if your relationship is still new or you can't say for sure that she's vested in it for the long haul, bringing that up may be awkward and have the opposite effect.

    Try thinking of what your friend will say and how you will respond - like a previous female commenter said, make sure you brush it off and make it a positive. Life experiences gained, looking back, you're glad you're moving forward. Shell relate - we all have that one.

    Most importantly, your former crush is only up for grabs if your friends can use it to shame you. Come to terms with your actions, for real, so when you look back and laugh, your amusement is genuine. Please don't be too hard on yourself - it took me 6+ years for my first real crush to be able to laugh at how desperate and creepy I was. Let's just say I tell my story to make others feel better about themselves, hahah. You are not alone!

    When you're truly over it, it will show, and as a woman, I can tell you that a man who faces his past and knows who he is, good and bad, is the sexiest of the sexy. The fact that you consciously acknowledge that your actions were questionable shows a self awareness and emotional ownership that any girl would be lucky to have in their man. Speaking of that, I'd bet good money that you're light years ahead of your friends. Good on you, and good luck.

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What Girls Said 4

  • Don't say anything, when your friends bring it up, say it was just a crush, which it was.

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  • I wouldn't. Just let them do it and show those assholes that you're over it and can handle that situation with grace. Laugh, respond that yes that was a dark period in your life yet you're in a brighter place now, and kiss your girl.

    Easy.

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  • You should tell your new girl about your crush. Maybe she will laugh at it and think its not a big deal.. Then let your friends say whatever they want. Then laugh a little and say yeah that was crazy thank God I am over that.

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  • don't try to get revenge.

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    • Well what I mean is, should I tell her before they do?

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