Should I act like an asshole to attract women?

I've had girls just take advantage of me practically my whole life. Despite putting myself out there, girls either completely ignore me or hurt me. It's gotten so bad I'm ready to give up on women. I have a friend who acts like an asshole to women, treats them like dirt and he manages to get them hanging all over him, so that seems to be the way to go. It seems being your nice self gets you absolutley nowhere with women but a broken heart.

Should I just be the bad guy/asshole?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • The thing that is attractive about assholes is that they "don't give a shit". They don't go out if their way to please the girl and he isn't clingy and too attached to the outcome.

    If you can adopt this "don't give shit" attitude then you will come a long way. But you don't need the asshole part. Even though in reality some women like the asshole part because that is what some consider a "challenge".

    In the end you will often attract what you are. Sure, being an asshole will likely get you laid here and there. But you are not likely to find the love of your life by being an asshole because you are likely to attract women with some kind of issue that you don't want.

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What Girls Said 12

  • no don't do it! if you're gonna turn into an asshole you are only gonna attract chicks who are into assholes

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  • younger women tend to like bad guys, but as they get older they get tired of it and want the sweet guy!! stay nice:) im telling you its the best route and your more likely to find an amazing girl. maybe just have more of an edge to you? or play a little more hard to get at first

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  • No, don't be an asshole because some girls don't like guys that are like that. Some girls like gentlemen's and guys that are respectful. So, just be nice to the girls and the ones that hurt you just ignore that. Just be yourself and you'll find someone soon

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  • A lot of guys confuse being a "nice guy" with being a doormat. Women who go for assholes have some pretty hardcore emotional issues. If that's what you're looking for, go for it.

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  • Should you be the guy who is practically asking to get his ass beat? Do you really want to go that route?

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  • Seems to work for @rthomas43 so give it a shot.

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  • Don't be a bad guy! we (girls) need more good guys+good looking+smart+straight for good girls and for our future.

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  • don't be flat out assholes , but dun be too nice either. its all about balance!

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  • No way, don't change your self. You just have to wait for the right girl. That's all. And the girls that go after the douche bags, need to learn that its guys like you that are the real deal.

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  • No instead don't too nice and play hard to get

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  • You know, I see a lot of men date women who treat them like shit. But my conclusion isn't that men love bitches, it's that a) some men will overlook a woman's shitty personality if she's hot enough, and b) some men are either desperate enough or have low enough self-esteem to allow women to mistreat them.

    This idea that "girls don't like nice guys" is ridiculous to me. Are you suggesting that every guy who has a girlfriend is an asshole?

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  • well. i guess there's a certain point or/and moments you need to not be an asshole. for example not too long ago i met this guy, he was sort of an asshole but then he also had those moments when he was being more nice and chill. so at first he was only being an asshole so i guess that kinda attracted me to him even though he pissed me off a lot with some of the things he said. so eventually i got a crush on him because he started being nicer, still a little rude but nicer. and then i stopped having a crush on him because after a week of being away for camp i got to see him with a group of friends and he was being nice and chill not rude comments pr anything but then two hours later he was being soon rude which made me no longer have a crush on him.

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What Guys Said 21

  • It will get you women, that's for sure, but not the type of women you'd wanna be around. Women that fall for assholes have no respect for themselves, and I doubt you'd wanna have a girlfriend that doesn't respect herself. Plus, no self-respect, means no respect for you either, so prepare to be cheated on.

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  • Mike Damone covered this in Fast Times At Ridgemont High some 33 years ago...
    http://youtu.be/4WzyxybYEGM

    Of course, not ALL of his advice was that solid...
    http://youtu.be/fz2zVcO9Eus

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  • You need to know when to be a dick & when to be sweet. Mostly girls just like to be cared for but, don't over do it. Don't be the bitch. Getting a girl to like you is like catching a fish, you have to real her in slowly. Bottom line is everyone is different & like different things. Be smart &'read signals. If a girl likes you, she'll make it obvious. If you want her to like you, hot & cold always worked for me. Well, that being good looking & hilarious was helpful as well but, if I knew a girl didn't like me for some reason maybe I rubbed her the wrong way or something. I'd find a way to stick up for her to get back in her good graces. Always remember, girls like guys with skills. hahaha

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  • I would suggest you try to be more attractive.

    On the whole, most women don't like assholes. They like attractive men, and sometimes attractive men are assholes.

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  • Depends on what you want. Just sex? Be an animal. Committed relationship? That's tougher. Be a man. Our life is full of choices.

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  • Stand up for yourself, dont be anyone's doormat, be assertive...
    That's probably the only difference between you and your mate.
    People only can take advantage of you if you let them

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  • Nope buddy, in fact it depends on person to person. If that friend of yours who you regard as "dirty" or I would call a "playboy" has something inside him that girls would want. Perhaps, his personality is quite bold. As for sweet guys, well not every girl likes a sweet guy, sometimes they prefer the rich or the bad. Don't change mate, stay who you are because when people notice this transition, they won't like it. It's also like cloaking you're own personality to get to someone.
    Happy to help!

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  • You know, there's a happy medium between allowing women to "take advantage" of you and acting "like an asshole."

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  • I am sure you will get good results. To me it's not worth it. It's like lying to yourself. Also, acting like an asshole to get girls is just an easy way out If you get women while you are nice, but know when to say no and stand up for yourself, then it's so much more worth it. Also, you will feel that your patience and hard work paid off.

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  • Not unless you want women who are attracted to assholes. At what point would you get to resume being yourself without losing her?

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  • It's best to have a " don't give a fuck if she likes me or not... but a bonus if she does " sort of attitude. I always scored with ladies when I was not on the prowl , if you go out for the sole purpose of scoring with ladies then you will fail... you will give a strong return on the " neediness " radar.

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  • Don't be an asshole, regardless of your reasons. There are more important things in life than getting laid.

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    • Keeping a job (hard to do if you're an asshole),
      having long-term friends (Impossible if you're an asshole), finding someone who wants to be with you longer than one night (Impossible if you're an asshole)

  • Wahahahah no...

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  • be a good guy with confidence and not a nice guy who wants to create an impression.

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  • Add a little asshole-ness to yourself but don't over do it

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  • At your age most girls are past that.

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  • I guess you can try it and see where it takes you. Let me know if it works out for you.

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  • oh my god...

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  • You can try it. What do you have to lose? Apart from your dignity, obviously.

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  • I think you just have to have strong principles and stick my them no matter what shit she throws at you. Be willing to walk away and so on. If that's been an asshole then so be it. There are over 3 billion women in the world. Arguably probably only about 300 million that you would actually fuck haha. In any case i don't think girls want a door mat. Just treat her like you would any other person.

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  • If you're not an asshole already than I would advise you to NOT try to become one just to score with girls. Being an asshole might get you laid now but in the long run assholes are losers because they always end up either getting arrested for domestic violence or financially raped in divorce court..

    My advice to you would be to make a list of behaviors that you absolutely will not accept from a girl. and be ready to walk away from any girl who shows you those behaviors. When the word gets out that you know what you want and that you're man enough to walk away from a skank then you'll have plenty of girlfriends. It takes time so be patient and don't be desperate. .

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