I started talking to this guy online a few months ago and we finally met for the first time last week. We've been on three dates so far with a fourth coming up next week. When we chatted online, he brought up his ex and another girl he dated at different points into our conversations. I didn't mind.. but thought it was kind of weird that both have the same career choice as me (I figured... okay, so I guess he just has a "type" or something). I didn't respond because I didn't want to talk about my past relationships yet, and we changed the subject.
Neither of us are particularly talkative or socially savvy, but toward the end of our first date, he smiled and brought up a weird story about his ex- but quickly pointed out that she was married now and they were friends. I just smiled and nodded, and he switched the conversation. Second date, he brought up the same girl he mentioned to me online, but this time added that it didn't work because she was "too demanding". I didn't say anything and just nodded that I understood. Third date, there was no mention of them and he made plans for a fourth date next week.
I mean, it's one thing to have the "ex talk" at some point and I'm glad he feels comfortable enough to talk with me about them some, but... hmm. He mostly just did it in passing or during a long pause in conversation. Is he even aware of what he's doing or is he just insecure?
Most Helpful Girl
It could be a sign of insecurity or it could be a way of trying to show more of himself to you. If he was constantly bashing his exes or talking about them more frequently I would be more concerned. I feel that past relationships could provide insight for the new person in my life. Where I've been, and kind of like a preview of how I can be in a relationship. I give you props for how you reacted about it though. It was very mature to listen but stay quiet, sort of like showing it wasn't a topic you enjoyed hearing about without being blunt or hurtful. It had a lot of tact, and by the looks of it considering there was no mention on the third date, he may have gotten the message. If it continues I would politely say something like "I'm happy you're comfortable enough with me to talk about your past, but I get quiet and don't provide much feed back on the matters because I feel it's just a little too soon for me to share about my exes with you"1