Should I date someone outside of my own race?

My entire dating life, I've only dated inside my race, other African Americans. My parents, both black, have been married for 32 years, and I've always wanted to have the same. I have always had friends from just about every race, and black and otherwise, they have either dated or married outside of their race, and my brother is married to someone who is white. I don't know if I'm limiting myself by just dating black men or perhaps why its "necessary" to only date inside my race. My family, and certainly my friends have never said that I had to or that they'd disown me or anything like some other people. I am thinking of expanding my dating search criteria to include other races. I'm curious why others decided to date or marry outside of their race and some of the challenges you may have faced. I've heard my brothers prospective, but would like to hear a few more voices on the topic.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • BE WITH THE PERSON WHO KEEPS YOU HAPPY. P-E-R-I-O-D. NO EXCEPTIONS.

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What Guys Said 8

  • Don't limit yourself to race. What if the one meant for you is not black? Just go for the one who makes you feel happy and loved. Don't listen. to anyone who tells you otherwise; after all, it's only you and the one you've chosen that will matter in the end.

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  • Honestly, I have always felt that the idea that you should never mix-race is, at its core, racist and beyond stupid. So, I say you should date outside of your own race and cut off anyone you know that thinks it's wrong. Because a worth while person will be concerned about who the guy is as a person and how well he treats you, not what color skin he has.

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    • I agree. A good friend tried to connect me on a date with one of her friends who is not black, which I didn't know, and it kind of threw me a bit because I'd never even considered the possibility. I've flirted with those outside my race, but never acted upon it and I don't know why. She, like everyone else in my life, is of the opinion, why not, but I think its because I see my parents as my model for love and in my head, that significant other has always been black. It's strange because I think in my head, do I have some sort of hidden racist tendencies by not even considering thus far dating outside my race b/c really what is the difference or am I more hung up on trying to fulfill the fantasy of finding a marriage that looks exactly like my parents happy marriage.

    • The simple truth is that you could have an ideal marriage with a guy of any race, so long as both of you are willing to work towards having an ideal marriage. Because just like life in general, what you put into a marriage is what you are going to get out of it. So, try to focus on that and you should be able to get past the roadblocks you have.

    • Thanks for the sage advice.

  • I don't see why not, unless they are unattractive too. I can understand a person of one race not liking the looks of another. We grow up and find a particular thing appealing, in a lot of ways, from what we saw growing up. I can understand an Indian woman not liking a western man's looks, for example.
    BUT,,, if you do find them attractive, what on Earth are you limiting yourself for. They don't bite you know.

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  • It depends on if you feel comfortable with that kind of taboo. Obviously it can give you a lot more options and ultimately you may enjoy the relationship more.

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  • Race really shouldn't be the issue.
    Personality and mutual attraction are the things that matter.
    Expand your horizons and go for it.

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  • Absolutely you should

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  • I've honestly always been more attracted to women outside my race. It's good not to limit yourself like that.

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  • Go for it race shouldn't matter in dating

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What Girls Said 8

  • Your issue with it isn't even because of attraction or stereotypes and such, is it? It's just that you say, "My parents, both black, have been married for 32 years, and I've always wanted to have the same."

    However, your parents' marriage going as well as it has is not due to the fact that they're of the same race. You could marry a black guy and still have a shitty marriage and probably get divorced, or you could marry someone of a different race and have a happy marriage like your parents have right now, and the opposite can happen in both scenarios too. It can simply go either way, because something so skin-deep as race is has little to no impact on having a successful marriage.

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  • If you want to, sure. There's nothing wrong with it.

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  • do it if you want to there's nothing wrong with it

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  • Race is not as important as culture and/or religion (if that's important to you) in maintaining a relationship. So go for it.

    The only girls I know who dated outside their race is because they're really not a whole lot of guys where they live who have the same race.

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  • If you like them ya

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  • If you want to limit yourself then continue dating your own race. There are good men out there of every race but if you are not open to that experience or worry about what others may think then you will never give yourself a chance to see.

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  • You should if you want to and feel attracted to other races.

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  • Go Ahead. Explore a little

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