Is it not hypocritical for a woman to want a confident man but then be insecure herself?

I can't stand it when women try to date me and they are insecure. Then I say, you are being COMPLETELY one sided. You simply want what you want without giving equal value in return.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I guess so. Nobody should be super insecure. It's not attractive for both genders.

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What Girls Said 5

  • it is hypocritical... sometimes insecure women want the confident guy to help herself become confident too, though. kinda a catch 22

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  • Umm I don't know about hypocritical being the right word, simply put, opposites often attract. I mean if that's hypocritical it would be hypocritical to date anyone short of a clone of yourself with a swapped chromosome.
    That said, you shouldn't date someone that you feel is lacking something you greatly desire, which in your case us confidence:)

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  • Is it hypocrytical for a woman to want a strong man and be weak herself - all physically speaking?
    People want the other half of themselves - some traits they don't posses.

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  • Yes, it is hypocritical.

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  • No, not at all. when we're dating we look for people who are have higher attributes and are on a higher level. cause if I'm suicidal (which I'm not) I wouldn't date a suicidal that would just... nooo.. just no. nor the other way around I don't wanna date a suicidal guy. don't want him bringing me down.

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What Guys Said 4

  • It's kinda not

    That's what men are supposed to do, be better than them in some way. That's what they look to us for, to be elevated.

    Because as a man elevates himself, his woman is elevated to a higher level as well.

    That's just how it works.

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  • No, we are naturally attracted to victory. Confident usually comes from victories. That's why a lot of dating coaches focus on small victories and success to boost their clients confidence.

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  • I think it's hypocritical of men to expect their women to have big boobs and tight vaginas when they don't even have those things themselves.

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  • Yes, female attraction is naturally somewhat hypergamous but it I've yet to see how it can be helped, it's just part of their biology/psychology. It goes beyond just confidence, there's also wanting someone older, financially stable, intelligent, generous, emotionally stable, all things they don't need to be themselves.

    Generosity really gives the hypergamy away: typically someone older will be more capable or wealthy or whatever else and they want someone who is capable of earning more resources than he need and is generous enough to give the surplus to her (and her eventual offspring).

    20000 years ago our gender dynamics were fitting, but in modern society the fact that I'm attracted to girls younger than me with no necessary traits beyond a compatible personality and cuteness just feels so fucked sometimes. Seriously, I have to ask myself all the time what are girls bringing to the table? I don't actually care about all the other stuff *they* like; I can appreciate a person without that stuff, yet if one does the math guys typically end up giving away resources... and for what? Seriously... what?

    I can't be mad at them personally for just going with their natural instincts, it's only biology, but that doesn't mean there isn't an imbalance in modern society or that I don't get immensely frustrated by it. #KnowThemFeels

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