I think I'm straight but I have a date with a girl next week... what have I done?

Well it's still possible I am bi but I've realised I do fancy guys. I have a date with an absolutely gorgeous girl next week and she really likes me but I'm worried now that I've led her on. I might still be attracted to her but I'm just scared I won't be.
What do I do?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • 1. Meet her up alright :)
    2. Just be upfront with her, tell her how things are with you in your head right now, I'm sure she'll appreciate your honesty :)
    3. BUT don't project it as a sign of weakness or that you need to be led by hand by her or anyone to make your decisions
    4. Let her know that you find her attractive but you need time to make up your mind about your orientation and you'd love knowing her but she's free to move along if she chooses to :)
    5. I'd recommend that you explain to her during the date rather than breaking the date off :)

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    • Aw thanks! This is great advice!

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    • Thank you 😊

    • Thank you beautiful young lady for your kind and gracious gesture of selecting my opinion the MH :) My apologies for a delayed response since I've not been on GAG for a few days. Trust things worked out well between the both of you :)

What Guys Said 25

  • That something you can't worry about, it seems you are uncertain so you probably won't know until you go, keep in mind its only a date it, it doesn't mean you guys are in a relationship yet. In any case you will need to find the answer yourself. It says you are about 19, that it young to love, I can tell you when you are in love that you will know it. You will feel safe at times, while anxious at others, you will want to spend a lot of time with them and will think of them often, most importantly you will desire to be intimate with them. Whether you are straight, gay, or bisexual I think that everyone feels these feelings to some degree, and none of them are wrong.

    A large part of society wants you to think that straight is the only acceptable way, in the end that is just them forcing their views. The only things I can tell you if you decide to go on the date with her keep an open mind, try to enjoy yourself, and get to know her or anyone you are interested in better and at some point you will figure out your preferences.

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  • The same you'd do with a guy if you had led him on.. you'd break off the date and apologize. You're just making trouble for yourself by going through with the date, and disappointing her in the process.

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    • But I might like her, I'm just worried if it turns out I don't actually fancy her it will hurt her even more

  • I'd agree with @HandsomeRaj.

    I'd still go to the date but maybe explain your feelings to her at some point. I'm straight but I would imagine that anyone who is gay or bi would know how confusing it can be and would surely be willing to be patient and understanding with your situation. She might be able to give you better advice then we ever could as well.

    Just don't worry about it too much but don't do anything you don't want to.

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  • Ok well do you like her sexually?

    Also I don't wanna get into this
    (Reader discretion is advised)
    This is my personal feeling we all are pervrta to a certain extinct. I dont you are born gay I don't believe you are born straight. You like what you like. So guys like doggy style some don't.
    Some girl like to be on top some don't.

    Some like bdsm some don't.
    Some like anal other think it fucking nasty.

    Some people lime black people some don't

    Some people like white people some don't
    Same way straight man can turn gay in prison or before prison. a gay man can turn a tight if he so choose.

    Bi sexual people are proof to the theory you like what you like. And what available.
    Now do you like her physically and do like her personality if so go for it.
    Love is love

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  • Have a nice day or evening out and tell her you're not certain... she won't kill you for it as long as you're nice and correct to her :D
    Than, don't think to much. Let your feelings determine what's up or not!
    Oh and... don't get drunk Alex. You want to be able to make a wise decision...

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  • Sounds to me like someone's been screwing with your head. You've been groomed for the deathstyle, but common sense and conscience are kicking in and you're having second thoughts. It's not too late to run. Flake out if you have to. Just get out of that situation. And turn to someone in your family you trust.

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  • Yeah, i think it's cool and if you like the girl
    than what makes a difference , Don't get all upset
    cause of your sexual desires to date or go out with
    <3 :D :p <3

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  • Of course you are bi...
    Cause straight girls don't do sit with other girls... They will just claw each other out...

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  • just try it out.

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    • I will but she really likes me and I don't want to lead her on.

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    • But I'm not sure I might be bi

    • that's why I said try it out

  • Probably not a date. It's just two friends hang out. If you kiss and have sex with each other on the date, you're probably bi, and don't realize it. Love the picture by the way, steal my idea, eh?

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    • Hehe obviously ;)
      We have established that it's a date though
      We've both been flirting with each other but now I don't actually know if I am attracted to her or if I just admire her beauty

    • You're probably bi then

    • And are just now realizing it. Since you're born that way

  • You've committed only to a date. You're not leading her on. Stop worrying.

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  • Go on the date have fun and don't worry. It doesn't have to go any further but you don't know until you try. Use it as a learning experience.

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  • You're just trying it out right? Like you said, you might be bicurious

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  • Go on the date and see how things go. You don't have to do anything serious as it's only the first date. If by the end of it you feel you're not comfortable with things then simply don't go on the second.

    While on the date you could possibly tell her how you feel, its most likely she's gone through something similar. I'm sure she'll understand.

    But honestly speaking have you ever felt you might be attracted to a guy of was it more like a yes or a no?

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  • I think you should see how it goes and give it a shot. If you're not sure try it. You never know. If you're not comfortable then tell her you're not into girls as a relationship

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  • Go on the date but be open mined about it. If it's not working out the just say so...

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  • Dont go whats the point you say your straight

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  • Well try it out whats stopping you ^_^ all you gotta do is try

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  • You've led someone on and compromised your own preferences in order to jump on a bandwagon and seem trendy. I've been watching girls your age do this for the past 10 years so it is quite typical and you really don't have anything to worry about. It's not like you'll get stoned to death like the gay people in some of the countries I visited do.

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    • I haven't done it to be trendy. I know that I'm definitely not 100% straight but I'm not sure if I'm bi either. I really care about this girl and possibly do really like her but I'm just worried because I'm not sure.

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    • It's not leading her on if I still could potentially like her. I'm just not used to these feelings

    • One of my ex's tried dating girls and couldn't handle it. Girls are a lot more demanding than us guys apparently according to those who have tried both.

  • You are bi too. 😱😕

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  • Have sex with her and figure it out for yourself...

    Only idiots would put themselves in this situation... if you like her, go out with her... if you don't, blow her off - simple.

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    • I'm not going to have sex with her...

    • Well what's the point then? She obviously wants to have sex, so if you don't, ditch her.

  • In this fucked up world we live people are so stupid and brainwashed they don't even know what they are.

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  • Go on the date and explore it. Why not? Be honest with her and let her know it's the first time you've tried this and you aren't sure, but you wanted to give it an honest try.

    I'm sure she'll be understanding.

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  • Yea you let her on just drop her with a text message.

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    • How have I though? I might like her

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    • then tell her you want to try dating a few guys before committing to being a lesbian.

    • try just being her friend for a year and if that does not work out then you two were never meant to be.

  • Go on the date then have sex with her. Then you'll know what you are.

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What Girls Said 14

  • I'm bi :) First of all, a key thing about being bi is that you will fancy guys, so fancying guys isn't going to make your bisexuality less real or affect it in any way really. I'd say that you should go on the date but be honest with her. Just tell her that you think you're bi but you're not sure yet. Let her know that you care about her and you're not using her, you're just not yet sure of your feelings. If she's not cool with that, then she can stop the date, but it's important that she knows how you feel.

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    • See I've told her this before then I flirt with her. I keep digging myself into a hole :( in the moment I do fancy her sometimes but I don't know if that's just because I feel lonely

    • Like I said, I think you should go on the date and just see how it is. In a romantic setting, you might be able to make sense of your feelings. Maybe try imagining what it'd be like to be with her, to kiss her. If it disgusts you or creeps you out, maybe it's not for you. But I recommend going, as long as she knows that you're confused.

  • That's the point of dating... to see if you're still attracted to the person & to see if it'll work out.

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  • You won't know until you try! A date is just a date, and if you feel for her, then continue to see her. If not, then no harm done.

    It's better to know.

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  • I feel like you're trying to force yourself to be something you're not. However, in order to erase doubt I would say to keep the date and see how it goes. That is what going on dates are for. What makes you attracted to her?

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    • Exactly and it's the media brainwashing people with lbgt

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    • It might just be a regular girl crush then. A girl crush doesn't make you bi. It seems like because she has these traits you want in a partner you are trying to form a romantic relationship. It may even become platonic. But like the others and I have suggested, you should just go on the date and see. Don't force yourself to do something you aren't comfortable doing in order to please your date or spare their feelings. I wish you luck and would love to hear an update.

    • Thank you so much 😊

  • So u wanna be attracted to her or not? Does it bother u that u might be bi? You've lost me..

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    • I do because she's really sweet and I think I do like her but I'm not 100% sure.
      I'm a little lost myself lol

    • Well, there's only one way too find out. Go out with her and see whether u like her as a friend or more..

  • Date her and find out if you're really attracted to her or not. Give it time.
    You gotta date before you commit :)

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  • Go, see if you enjoy.
    If not, end it there and apologize.

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  • Sounds like you don't really know what you are. Haha

    Just go on the date.

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  • You're bisexual congratulations.

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  • Go on the date and find out!

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  • What I've learned from bi people, I have a lot of bi friends, that sometimes you are attracted to one sex more than the other. It's normal. You would prefer one sex but you don't mind the other sex. Don't freak out, you might actually like her. So go on the date, see how it goes and figure out if you want to continue things or just break it off.

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  • Do you feel you could be bi?

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  • You're just exploring and trying to discover who you are. That's healthy and a good thing

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  • You're just curious.

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