I am a newbie to this, so please bare with me as I give a little history. I am married with the only person I have ever been with and have children. I met a co-worker 2 years ago and we hit it off great. We flirted a lot at work and eventually started going out alone dancing etc. Nothing happened until one time at work where he kissed me. I had only been with my husband and would have NEVER initiated anything, but then I responded back. We made out a few times, but it didn't go farther than that. He also had a girlfriend for about 3 years. Then something happened where he completely cut me out of his life for all of last year, up to this day I don't know why, but it made it easier to not think about him. Then this year, my husband passed away and he was the one friend that I was able to talk to and grieve a bit with. He had not talked to me all year and since the death he has been the nicest person as though nothing was wrong between us. Then we went out this past week with others, who wanted me to try to have one night without crying and we all drank a bit, danced a lot. Then there was 5 minutes where he and I were alone..As we were dancing, he all of a sudden kissed me. I know he was drunk, but it like all came back when he did that. I stopped it and we left. He's still with his girlfriend, but now what ? I keep rethinking about that night, what happened !
Most Helpful Girl
I am curious what other answers you get here because I've been in a similar situation. What is going on between you two is an emotional affair. It sounds like he has feelings for you (thats what happens w/emotional affairs) but was confused since he had a girlfriend. Also, I know the guy I was with was really nervous about my husband or his girlfriend finding out, so that fear along with feeling guilty made us end it. Now that you are "free", perhaps he feels safer and obviously he has still had feelings. BUT...is he still with his girlfriend? If so, I can just tell you from my experience that emotional affairs are SO painful. You can never actually have this person as a boyfriend -- who you can freely go out with. You will just be there "on the side" when he wants you. Until he says he will leave his girlfriend, I would not continue to pursue this. You will only get hurt. It doesn't take away the fact that he apparently has a crush on you. But, in the end, you will be the one hurt unless he leaves his girlfriend. Its not worth it. I have had depression and a lot of confusion because of what happened. I have been in a verbally abusive marriage & we are in counseling, but this affair only confused me more. Good Luck.0
- Show AllShow Less