How do I stop this jealousy?

I have a few mental health issues regarding my self esteem, the way I look and insecurities. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 8 months and he has two female friends one he talks to somewhat more than the other, Brittany the one he talks to the least between intervals loves the same thing he does he loves motorbike riding and the last time he saw Brittany they went for a ride together before he sold his bike, now don't judge me but I like to go through his messages just to see what he's been up to and for my own validation and comfort to know I'm safe and it's okay, I saw a few old messages from Brittany not very recent about a month and it said

brittany: wanna come over and watch movies or hang out or something?

drew (my partner): but I'm sick?

brittany: that's okay I don't mind

drew: but I don't wanna get you sick

then probably a newish message 2-3 weeks ago

brittany: hey! I miss you!! What's been happening

Drew: Awwwww :).. And he wrote more about what's been happening but that's all I remember

brittany sometimes asks how I'm doing and how are we together and drew says "yeah we are pretty okay how've you been"

i dont one know what to do I'm so jealous of that particular message that it's so silly it makes me feel so upset there are a few smiley faces and everything in there as well which makes me feel weird
I'm probably being stupid right


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You just have to trust him. Guys and girls have friends of the opposite sex and it is normal to do these things. Stop reading his messages because this will only make u feel worse. He is with u so just enjoy it and he would have been with this other girl rather than u if anything was going on. You look great and I'm sure he would agree so stop beating yourself up and give him your trust. If he's going to cheat then he will do it regardless if that's the kind of person he is. At the moment though u have no proof he has so just trust him and enjoy your time together. Believe in yourself more.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Are you self diagnosing or have you seen a therapist and have been officially diagnosed you with mental issues? Are you currently in therapy?

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    • I have seen a therapist and went on medication before yes, I'm off the medication because I previously recovered

    • Might be a good idea to start seeing a therapist again and go back on the meds. Sometimes we do back slide and its important to recognize when we do, so that we can quickly get back on track.

  • I can relate to what your feeling I've been there , it sound pretty harmless like they are just good mates but I think you should ignore it if you can after all there were no kisses attached so it sounds like just mates to me.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Keep a very watchful eye, that's my suggestion... I would feel insecure as well because it doesn't seem as innocent as they want it to appear... anything else that you've noticed? Maybe I can give you some better guidance.

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    • No no just that, he hardly ever sees her and it's mostly just a text here and there

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    • I've noticed just little things like smiley faces and cute aww I miss you too! Kinda things but I don't know if that's just me going over broad or if I should be alarmed, it's kinda driving me a bit up the wall I kinda wanna cry over it

    • Awwww honey don't cry

  • Are you still seeing someone for your self-esteem issues? This would be a good thing to bring up next time you see them. I believe they would be better able to address this than I.

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    • Umm no no I used to but I really need to go back there again

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    • They haven't been friends for a very long time I'd say 8months as well.. I trust drew completely not to cheat but I don't trust other girls

    • Which still means you don't trust him to resist the advances of these girls.

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