Should I even stay?

So my girlfriend used to be a slut. She used to drink and had a lot of unprotected sex, she even cheated on her ex just for sex. It's been 4 months since we started dating and it still bugs me. Will it get better? Maybe when we have sex? Or will it always bug me?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm kind of in a similar position. My boyfriend is rather an alcoholic and has been with so many girls he's lost count of how many. Most of his relationships never lasted before (an average of 2-3 months). However, we've been dating for four months, and I can tell he's really trying to commit to this one.

    I study human relationship + psychology, and we learn that people just do not change easily. People can, however, make an attempt to change and/or restrain themselves from bad habits.

    A negative is that she HAS cheated before. A positive is that she has admitted it and has committed to you for four months without sex. People who cheat usually either 1) never cheat again because of guilt, or 2) ends up cheating on multiple partners. Which one do you think she is? (Don't come up with excuses for her or the relationship - trust your gut!)

    The key for relationships like this (or relationships in general) to work is both parties need to make an attempt to work it out. Yes, this will bother you to a degree, and being alert is NOT a bad thing. But you'r going to have to trust her by not acting possessive (this usually pushes the partner to cheat on you). If it bothers you, feel free to talk it out with her!!

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    • Thank you. What makes it so hard for me is that I've been cheated on before... I am the one waiting out for sex until I know I can trust her completely

What Girls Said 6

  • I think it will always bug you until you talk to your girlfriend about this. I think you need the reassurance that she isn't the untrustworthy girl that you knew. In order to get the reassurance that she isn't what she used to be you two need communication. If you've been dating for 4 months and haven't had sex that shows that it's possible that it isn't all about sex for her. And you asked 'maybe when we have sex?' That shows that you have thought about it with her. Let your relationship grow to be trustworthy enough to joke about physical stuff and show how you like each other to truly be happy in this relationship. Show her that you need your mind and heart to have closure in knowing that she won't go back to her bad influence. You just need to ask questions and let her actions and words open you up and let you trust who she is now.

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  • Since you resent her for it, never.

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  • I think this will always at least sub-consciencely bother you (as it should). She has had terrible habits. What makes you think she

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    • Has stopped her ways?

    • She feels guilty about it. And I want to forgive her. She'll just say something like about enjoying sex or a position and we've never had sex before. I'm not a virgin either... But my biggest thing is she cheated just for sex. Her ex didn't neglect her or anything bad. She just wanted more sex.

  • No it won't get better. You need to break it off and move on. Just tell her if she is going to have casual sex she needs to protect herself.

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  • I think it's a matter of you trusting her and hoping that she won't go back to her old ways and do the same thing to you.

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  • It's really not a nice way to speak about your girls frien calling her a slut. Her past is just that "her past". Most of us have a promiscuous phase when we are young, it's normal to get it out of your system. People change and grow up. The way she is with you now is a good indicator of wether or not she has changed or still in this phase. Only you will know this as you are the one spending time with her.

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    • And also maybe the fact that she is still holding out on the sex could be a sign that she has changed, and does want your respect.

    • I'm the one holding out. I've had sex with two people, one because I felt I had to the other ended up cheating on me.

What Guys Said 1

  • It won't get better since you think of her as a slut and not able to look past her sexual history or past

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