Why do I sleep better in my boyfriend's bed?

I have insomnia and usually have to take over the counter sleep pills to sleep and maybe a little wine (sometimes). I don't mean literally in his bed but more sharing a bed with him at his place.

I I have a hard time going to sleep at first but once he is asleep I listen to him sleep and fall asleep quickly. We haven't been dating long but he makes me feel so safe when I'm with him. I've always had trouble sharing a bed with other guys I've dated.

Men men do you sleep better with your SO with kind of that same feeling of comfort? Women have you experienced this?

I don't even need to take sleeping pills, it's like he's my drug. It scares me to be so calmed by him, assured in his presence, only because we haven't been dating long.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • this happens coz u like him, and his presence makes u feel calmer ;)

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    • Yes I guess he's the fIrst guy truly worth liking that I've dated in a while. And by that I mean guy that actually likes me and not putting on and act. Plus he is wicked smart with security details and can carry me up the stairs. I'm such a girl!

    • i see,,, so shall i say lucky u? :D

What Guys Said 1

  • The fact that it scares you that you feel comfortable with him says a lot about why you can't sleep when you are alone. You are too anxious for no reason. You worry about everything. I bet you worry about how you are gonna sleep if he ever leaves you. Am I right? What good is it doing to you? The reason you can go to sleep is because you feel like you have someone who can help you with any problems that may arise in your life and it reassures you. It's nice to feel reassured, but what you really need is self-esteem. You'll sleep much better then.

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    • I've had sleep issues since 4.
      I usually can't turn my mind off which is why I can't sleep. Women tend to lay awake thinking through the next day more than men.
      I don't worry he'll leave me, or how I'll sleep alone. I know quite well how I sleep alone and if anything depend too much on myself.
      I'm not scared of being alone. Actually when you care for someone, such as I do, the bigger fear is issuing a harsh word against them in haste or just ever making them feel self doubt.

      People are pack animals not meant to sleep alone, I know that. I just don't know why only now do I meet someone who truly calms me from first meeting.

    • Show All
    • @asker Why is it, then, that you sleep better in your boyfriends bed? Do you have an hypothesis?

    • @asker Do you fall asleep in front of the TV?

What Girls Said 3

  • It's the calming presence/safety thing probably. I slept better next to my ex too (once I got used to his snoring).

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  • It seems like you are very comfortable to your boyfriend. He makes you feel safe and that's a comforting and heartwarming thought for you. I think that you need to talk to your boyfriend about your insomnia and ask him to help you. He's someone that can help and keep you calm while trying to breakthrough from your insomnia. Start off slow and sleep in the same bed as his. Then as you get more comfortable and brave, make him sleep on the room next to yours while you get the room by yourself and have a relaxing sleep while knowing the fact that he's still near you and keeping you safe. Your insomnia is making you relax on the fact that your boyfriend can safely sleep and after you know and see that, then your mind and body is fine with sleeping. Talk to your boyfriend about options to get your insomnia lessened, living options, or changing the sleeping schedule. Just let yourself try new sleeping options after you talked to your boyfriend about this.

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  • Wow, I didn't know that this kind of stiff happened to real people. I thought it only happened in books and movies...

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    • Maybe you like him a lot

    • Well I hear lots of married women say they can't sleep when their husband is out of town. 18-20 I never had sleep problems when I had a serious boyfriend sleepover all the time. I do t think people are meant to sleep alone.

      But it is odd to me that I so quickly was comfortable with him. He's not perfect (none of us are), he doesn't try to be but he does just small things not even on purpose that shows that he cares. He has his shit together and tolerates my free spirit. I'm really indep but I sleep a rise before an alarm with him by him kissing me awake 15 minutes before my alarm and an hour before his alarm.

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