Boyfriend won't add me on fb. Why?

Long story short, I've been seeing this one guy for about a month now. He found me on fb the other day and said that I looked really nice on my profile photo. Well, I told him if he wanted to he could just add me on fb. He seemed to ignore what I said and I didn't think much more about it.

As he was leaving to go abroad for 2 months (to see his family), we decided that we would stay in touch. He asked me how we should go about staying in contact and I asked him if he had Skype to which he replied yes. But he didn't offer to give me his Skype once again. He then suggested we could stay in touch through fb messages.

Anyway, so he wrote to me on fb the next day and I told him if he wanted to he could add me as a friend. He said "sure, if you really want to you can add me" so I sent him a friend request. An hour later, he said to me that he didn't really want to accept as "we aren't that close as friends" which made me upset.

We've been intimate, but I'm not close enough to be on his friend list? If he didn't want to add me on fb, then why suggest staying in touch through fb messages?

He's been gone for a couple of weeks now and I can see that he's added photos on there, but hasn't bothered to write to me anymore.

Am I right to be angry about this and should I dump him over this?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • He has a girlfriend that he's hiding from you. I can almost guarantee it. Either that, or he's not really considering what you have as a real relationship. More as a friends with benefits . Yes, what he's saying is as weird and off color as you feel that it is. If you're close enough to have sex, you're close enough for FB friends, unless he's hiding you.

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    • We haven't really had sex as of yet, but we've been intimate (as in kissing and other things). That's what I'm thinking too.. I mean the reason he gave me was that he doesn't like his friends knowing about his girlfriend and likes to be private about those things. But I just find the whole thing weird.

    • Ok well it's a little better that you haven't had sex yet, but It is weird still. He wouldn't give you his Skype name either though which doesn't make any sense. No one would publicly see you and him conversing on there. I think he's trying to keep things casual while he goes abroad.

What Guys Said 3

  • That is very weird. I am sorry to say, but there is content on his FB that he is hiding from you, or doesn't want you to see. Likely it is activities with other women.

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    • Thank you and I think you are right.

  • You have every right to be angry with him, he is playing a cat and mouse game with you, it's like he either wants to be friends on Facebook or not a friend yes i would move on with this guy..

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    • I'm definitely thinking of moving on. I don't think it's a very nice way to treat someone when you're supposedly "dating"

    • Yeah i wish you good luck on this i know it's not easy...

  • This may just be me being a guy here, but why does it matter? It's only facebook.

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What Girls Said 2

  • That's odd.. it sounds like he sees you as just friends "we aren't that close as friends". Like did you guys ask eachother out? Message him and ask him what is going on and that you think you two are exclusive. Either way he sounds a little evasive. Being angry is okay, dumping him is a bit drastic... talk first :P

    Good luck!

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    • Well, he kind of wanted to be exclusive and brought up the whole topic about it before I even did. He told me that he doesn't like it when people (such as his friends) know about his private life. I just found the whole thing weird and don't really like it when people try to keep their girlfriend's/boyfriend's a secret.

    • That's strange... it's either one of these things:
      -He's embarressed about you
      -His friends made fun of him before (about his private life)
      -He's got a secret girlfriend (as the person below me suggested)

      Either way, which one of these it is it mean trouble. If he really loved you he wouldn't be embarresed to show you to his friends. You're 18-24 (considering he is about the same age) so he needs to get a fking back bone if that's the case. You're right, keeping your bf-gf a secret is bad. Especially cause you said you wanted to add him as a friend. It's not like you asked him: "bae change your relationship status to married".

      But I'm just guessing here, so ask him what his deal is.

  • Maybe he doesn't want his girl to see you.

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