It feels like I have dead butterflies in my stomach why?

ok so i have a best friend named Jessica and Jessica's boyfriend name is Ton. tony is on the football team and very close friends with a guy named Jake now while Jake was dating his girlfriend we had an emotional affair, Tony doesn't know but when jakes girlfriend found out that Jake had feelings for me she made Jake cut me off completely at the end of the school year. its summer now so it couldn't have come at a better time because time heals all wounds Jessica knows everything that happened between me and Jake (which was nothing physical,) anyways today Jessica called and told me that her Tony Jake and Jake's girlfriend are going on a double date to the movies, when she told me I almost crapped my pants ( not literally) i broke out in a sweat, i started pacing, over thinking it doesn't help that i have a serious history with anxiety and anxiety attacks. I was doing perfectly fine without being in school with jake, or seeing Jake in class everyday. I was doing just fine getting over everything that happened because I wasn't reminded of Jake at all. but Jesus my stomach dropped when Jessica told me that. .. My stomach dropped so low. what is this feeling called and why am I feeling like this. I know these are butterflies but they aren't the good butterflies these feel poisonous.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well, you were trying to get close to somebody else's boyfriend. You aren't exactly the victim here. Learn your lesson for next time. Either you're his one and only girl, or you're not in it. Were you really happy being the disposable little secret, so easy to throw away when his actual main girl found out. Don't you want to be an actual girlfriend rather than some girl who's just there?

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    • Ugh is that all you got from this? Did you even read it. I don't need a lecture. I know that what WE was wrong. But im still entitled to my feelings. The question was: Why does it feel like I have dead butterflies in my stomach after him and his girlfriend was mentioned.

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    • That's my biggest fear, like what if Jessica befriends her or Jake tells his football teammates a different story and I'm the laughing stalk of the school, or what if I plan on hanging out with Jessica and Tony brings Jake and Jakes girlfriend along... Awkward. I know I'm over thinking but I can't help it. I hope it doesn't get worse when school starts backs next month.😵😵

    • It won't. a lot of the girls will probably think he's bad though. You're not even over thinking, she's a friends friend almost, it can happen. She will probably try to avoid hanging out around you anyway, she'll see it as a threat then argue with her man later on about him looking at you or something.
      Why would you be a laughing stock though? That won't happen. Probably the worst that can happen is the girlfriends group of friends will hate you, but that's whatever because you don't hang out with them anyway so it won't affect you.
      Either way, I'm sure Jessica will either try to avoid letting that kind of situation happen (with the girlfriend coming) or she'll give you a heads up to prepare yourself for it.

What Guys Said 1

  • I can tell how stressed you are by your writing style, I have been there as well. There are a couple of factors that come into play here, social conditions/group think as well as scarcity mentality.

    First of all, tony being on the football team is going to be popular and this plays into something called groupthink. You can do your own research on it if you want as its a rather long topic but in a nut shell as humans we tend to go along with the heard. If a bunch of people believe something we will also believe it. The more other girls like tony the more likely you are to like him as well.

    The second concept comes from a sacristy mentality. See you are in high school which is a rather small pond compared to the real world. You also don't have a lot of dating experience. So in your mind you feel like tony is one of the most attractive guys you will ever meet and since you can't have him you feel a sense of loss, which is the sinking feeling you get.

    ***Remember this**** ***Caution*** Never sacrifice a true friendship for a relationship. Relationships come and go, true friendships can last a lifetime. Break that advice at your own risk.

    It is however not rational. There are over 7 billion people on this planet so I promise you that you will have a chance to meet a guy as attractive if not more so than tony.

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    • Omg you hit dead on the nail when you said Jake was one of the most attractive guys I think I'll ever meet. He's just deceitful on the inside.

What Girls Said 1

  • you are 'making yourself sick with worry' so please stop. I know it seems like the be all and end all of life right now but really it isn't. your friend knows the truth and she won't ditch you because of this...

    Just chill x

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