Girls, went on first date and came off clingy she said we could only be friends, then without realizing I tried to figure out why she would do that?

I took a girl on her very first "real" date ever about 7 months ago and a month later she said she could only offer a friendship. Without realizing it at the time I came off as pretty clingy, but she never said that at first. It took a couple months later after we had hung out a few times as friends for her to tell me that I was. I was devastated. She has said she cares about me and my feelings, but she couldn't give me anything more. We were apart for a while and I was finally able to gain her friendship back as I saw her a couple of times and even met her parents for a couple of minutes. I completely wasn't myself when we went on that date because I was going through a rough time with other things and she was the only thing keeping me going through it, which is probably what caused the clinginess. Haven't seen each other in about a month and a half and she has told me that I wouldn't lose her. Is there any recommendations on how I can go about letting her know that I screwed up? I appreciate any help


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Try to talk to her about the situation. Being honest and telling her things were going rough for you and that you want to take it slow. Are you a clingy person? Its okay to be lovey but are you clingy or lovey, clingy is really annoying and touchy and just won't leave you alone. If so it could've scared her or made her feel uncomfortable. I can help you but I just need to know if you're that way. Get her to like open up or find something that can bring down the wall, if she's too gaurded then she might just not be a touchy feely person.

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    • We were friends before it and I knew that she was into me, so I asked her out. After we went out I didn't get to see her for a few weeks because I had to go on vacation with my family, so I would text her and she would always text back (I always waited for her to respond and never sent more than one text) because it made me happy to be talking to her. I have never been in a relationship before either, so I had no clue what I was doing also. Which I have explained to her, and since I was the first person to ever take her out I'm assuming she has never been in one either. I think I came off more as clingy because I texted her all of the time. I know she is a very guarded person because she told me she doesn't want to open up and be hurt. Right now we are living in two different cities, for the time being because it's summer break but I get snapchats from her every once and a while, as well as I have sent her a couple. It's kind of a mutual silence, but she has told me I won't lose her

    • I really appreciate your help as she is someone I really do care about. I know I need to be more confident In myself after everything that happened but I really want to show her that I can be that guy. We are currently living about 2 1/2 hrs apart but i know i will see her in a month or so. I also told her I don't want to go this summer without seeing her and she agreed to that but said she was busy to come back here with work and wanting to go to her vacation home on the weekends. I just feel like I need to make the move. Sorry for the lengthy description just trying to give as much info as possible

What Girls Said 2

  • Just tell her. That you didn't mean to be to clingy and that the only reason was you were going through that stuff. just tell her that and say sorry and hope for the best. I hope I helped some.

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  • I come on too strong too, sucks when you want to be yourself when you're an open person hey

    Just try not to overthink it
    Ask her to get a coffee or something. Start small and go from there
    Make sure your enthusiasm matches hers if you don't want to put everything out there at once

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