What makes guys leave after like a month?

I'm 20 and I've never had a boyfriend or a real relatiinship. I've talked to and seen over 20 guys and they all have ended the same way. One day they just stop talking to me and they leave me wondering what I did wrong. Some of these guys I've fooled around with other guys I haven't none of them have gotten vaginal sex from me because I want to wait because every guy just peaces out after a month and why would I want to have my first time with a guy who will just leave? I feel repulsive and rejected constantly. It's embarrassing to be the one that every guy throws away and it doesn't even matter what type a guy I go for they all do the same. I've tried the jocks, the manly men, the nerdy nice guys, the musicians. They all leave one day and just don't reply to my messages or take my calls. What is wrong with me that no one wants me? I honestly feel so ashamed and embarrassed of myself. The longer it goes the worse I feel. I just don't even want to bother because I know they'll be gone in a month but I get lonely. I just don't get how other girls get boyfriends all the time and guys run from me. They all eventually come back into my life but that's a long while after and it's never the same.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I counted 24 mentions of I, me one, something to do with you in the question above. Try this trick. Eliminate all of these mentions from everything you say to him. You don't have to lose who you are. You will immediately be more interesting to the guy. At your age it is common to focused on yourself. You will get guys much more interested when you stop that. Have your own things you like, your goals, fine, just keep them away from date conversations unless he asks and then try to steer back to more about him. You want to find out what he is really like anyway, right?

    By the way dropping references to yourself actually helps when you interview for a job as well.

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    • I'm not self-centered? I hate myself so why would I focus or talk about myself, ofcourse I'm mentioning me in a question about what I need to change -.- this is completely irrelevant

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    • There are a lot of other pressures that can affect when a guy calls back. Pretty much any of them, he probably won't feel comfortable telling you. He could have job trouble, money problems, have to deal with some family issue, problems with studies, even not feeling well, all these are sort of off limits to talk about with any girl. Of course, there is a big percentage who are looking or dating someone else. Then if that goes bad, all of the sudden they call. Some percentage could be some small issue, like you told them to do something and they are still stuck on nobody telling them what to do. Then a big percentage is fear of commitment. They often make a list in their head, pluses and minus: she's so dramatic, always wants to talk about feelings or doesn't quite have some physical attribute that they think they need to have in a girl to really love her. Any of these problems show a level of immaturity and is a good sign, that they are not ready for a relationship, nor really a match.

    • I guess I'll just stay single forever

What Guys Said 4

  • Those guys just wanted sex, unfortunately. After about a month they realize they aren't getting anywhere get frustrated and leave. Don't be sad and embarrassed as this is NOT a reflection on you, but on them, and the fact that they only wanted sex anyway, and never really cared about you. Look at it as dodging a lot of bullets!

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  • Don't feel bad. I'm sure that you're doing everything right, and you're doing it for the right reasons. The right guy for you is out there, somewhere, and he won't leave. I know it's hard to pick yourself up and carry on, but you have to. I've had dozens of relationships that didn't work out. I'm still at it. I may never find what I'm looking for - but it doesn't mean I'll stop looking.

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    • I'm sorry your relationships haven't worked out. I haven't even gotten as far as a relationship :/

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    • No, you're venting, and that's good. That's part of why I'm here, so you can do it and get it out. Throw it all at me, I'm good for it. But if you want to keep things out of an open thread, you can always send me a PM, too.

    • Thank you!

  • Well... you are only 21. Men are immature and not suited for a relationship at that age. Try dating older man that are more mature.

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    • All my friends get boyfriends, clearly men aren't immature and I have to be married before I'm 30 this is ridiculous

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    • Wow - well there you have your answer. that is why you dont have long term relationships. you aren't mature enough

    • I'm clearly mature honestly why even bother posting if you're not helping the situation

  • welcome to the club.

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