My girlfriend and I are in our 20s. We talk every morning our way to work and at night before she goes to sleep (she says she can't go to sleep without hearing my voice). We have been going out 5 months now but I've noticed we hardly text anymore during the day. When we first started to go out, we would text throughout the day and talk on the phone at night for hours. Now (the last month or so), we talk until she falls asleep around 12am (instead of 3/4am like before) and we text occasionally (sometimes my texts go unanswered/dismissed). She's told me that's she's busy at work lately and I know she is. I've seen how hectic it is at her job when I swing by to pick her up for dinner and I am busy too at my job most of the time. Not to mention, she would tell me she wants to see me and misses me a lot. Nowadays, I'll get a picture here and there, she still tells me that she misses me and constantly tells me that she loves me. It feels like unless I tell her let's go somewhere, we don't go out. I'm very independent but it sometimes feels I'm putting in more effort. She is very close to her family and spends time with them. Sometimes it feels like I'm playing second fiddle to them and she cancels plans to be with them. I would think, since we talk about what life will be like married and all, that I would be higher on the totem pole. Is this normal?
Most Helpful Girl
I think relationships fail when you try to categorize them. Just do not. Do not make assumptions do not get into conclusions.
Relationships are alive creatures actually. They grow when you feed them.
You need to water them, give food. Say lovely words etc.
What I see you want a good relationship but you want it your way. In your definition.
What is a good relationship?
Texting everyday? Seeing them everyday? Pretending you are happy?
Do not make any fight? What?
She seems she attached to her family a lot. So what? Would you prefer someone hates her family?
I know maybe it is too much but still it is way better than many condition.
You are with her just 5 months. You need to be patient.
Everyone wants to be a superstar and higher on the pole. But you can not be all the time. Everyone has some kind of a life and duties.
If she makes you feel great, even it is time to time, if you are happy with her, if even seeing her as happy, you should not complain really.
STILL if this bothers you, just tell her. This way, these are just assumptions.
And it goes nowhere, just unhappiness.0