Signs he's a PLAYER?

We only went on two dates, but so far:
- He never takes out his phone except to show me stuff when we're together.
- Asks some really personal things about family, hobbies, goals, life and even weather! It really seems like he's interested in getting to know me.
- He does most of the talking and asking questions.
- Wants me to meet his friends after the first date.
- Finds excuses to touch me, but they are really innocent (IE hands brushing or asking for hugs)
- Flirts but innocently, nothing remotely sexual.
- Never looks at other girls.
- Girls try to flirt with him a lot. I decided to test him and told him I'm going outside to finish my drink. He immediately stopped talking to the girl and went outside with me for 30 minutes waiting for me to finish drinking.
- Told me out of the blue he doesn't sleep around.
- When I was going on holiday, he asked in detail whether I will ever come back and he seemed worried. When I told him I will, he was relieved.
- I tested him again. I told him girls expect too much and everybody cheats on everyone. He told me if he is really into somebody, they should commit because trust is VERY important in a relationship.
- Added me on Facebook after first date.

But here are a few red flags:
- Can't post on his FB wall.
- Seems busy most of the time, working, band practice, etc.
- Has a lot of female friends and pictures with them.
- Friends with a stripper and liked a photo of her but.
- When he saw his friend he told me to stay while he went up to talk to him.
- Is a band player. C'mon, all of them cheat!

So is he a player?

  • Yes! Run away ASAP!
    24% (5)29% (2)25% (7)Vote
  • No way, you're overreacting.
    29% (6)43% (3)32% (9)Vote
  • Too soon to tell. Give it a chance.
    47% (10)28% (2)43% (12)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • think he's a good guy... look those REALLY REALLY good signs for x-ample:

    - Never looks at other girls.
    - Girls try to flirt with him a lot. I decided to test him and told him I'm going outside to finish my drink. He immediately stopped talking to the girl and went outside with me for 30 minutes waiting for me to finish drinking.

    and those "red flags" u mention r nothing... especially last thing's a false generalisation... so wot if he's a band player? since when band player equalize wid being a cheater? gosh.

    seems like he's REALLY busy (musicians tend 2 do a HELL of a practice be4 performin) and those friends seems like they r just friends. also being friends wid a stripper doesn't mean u r a cheater anyway... they r just friends. and "likin" a photo is nothing as well. don't take SM "likes" so seriously.

    so yeah,99.99% he's not a player :)

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    • Not so sure. I'm kinda not into NSA, F buddies or one night stands. Do you think he's looking for that? Everything is equal in the poll and I have mixed reactions. I know it's stupid to rely entirely on people online but I am really not sure.
      He also talked about his ex being crazy and obsessive because he was just talking to female friends.

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    • I told him in a relationship, the most important thing is giving each other space and security. I had clingy exes in the past and it made me run for the hills. I guess now he is trying to give me just that. I also told him about clingy texting.

      But I sent him a text this week about being able to play video games on the mobile phone and he did not reply to it.

    • that's y it happened then i believe! u mentioned bout this clingy thing!

What Guys Said 2

  • It seem like he's not ready to settle down with him posting strippers ass on Facebook. But he might give it up for you but the friends can persuade him so it all depend on what he chose

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    • I don't know what to do. Should I ditch him? I don't want to be so emotionally invested and it would affect my career and studies. He's in his late twenties and I'm in my late teens. Also want to date but nothing serious. I don't care if he sees other girls now because it's a fair game since we're both not really dating.

      But do you think he's looking for NSA, one night stands or f buddies even?

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    • What should I ask him? I don't want to double text because it could irritate him. Is there actually an interesting question I can ask him that guarantees a reply other than "how was work" or "how was the weekend"?

    • Ask him if you are in a relationship what are some things you do when you are with a woman. What do you like to do with friends if you are hanging out with them. What makes you upset in a relationship and what do you expect from a woman. And do you believe in being friends with opposite sex when you are in a relationship. Tell him you just getting to know him and don't take this the wrong way.

  • I found a sign right here for you "Girls try to flirt with him a lot."

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    • He's added a lot of prostitutes on FB so that's a pretty bad sign lol. Time to abandon ship!

What Girls Said 2

  • well damn. i saw this to the side and voted before i read it. now i wanna change my vote from run away ASAP to, too soon to tell. lol sorry

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  • He's being totally attentive and respectful. Quit testing him!

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    • He did not play around with his phone when I was with him except to show him some stuff. Do you think he may be looking for a one night stand or not really?

    • But he also waited for me right outside the train at the station even when I told him to wait for me outside the restaurant which was far away. Don't know if this means anything.

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