If a guy keeps himself really fit, do you respect his right to be picky and date only fit girls?

I know that a lot of girls think that guys are pigs because we can be so picky about our girls' bodies. The thing is, though, I think that it's not chauvanistic or one-sided if the guy holds himself to the same standard as he expects in his gfs. It's lame when a fat guy says he'll only date fitness models and cheerleaders, but I don't see it as lame when a athlete guy says he only dates those really fit girls.

I work out a lot. I'm a former collegiate track athlete, so I've been in good shape since I was in high school. I've always been active and have had visible abs since I was like 12. I want a girlfriend who is physically similar to me, like someone who's driven to be fit and lean. The problem is, when my female relatives and friends try to fix me up, the girls they pick are usually at least somewhat soft and not fit at all. When I won't go out with them I get the "you need to lower your standards" talk, like I'm desperate or required to date out of shape girls. Do girls ever just respect that a guy wants a girl to have the same body standards that he holds himself to?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't think it's shallow. It's just like you said--it'd be a double standard and hypocritical if you were out of shape and expecting fit girls, but if you're holding yourself to the same standards of that which you hold a potential girlfriend, I don't see the problem with that.

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    • I would never even want to be with a girl who was completely fit if I had a layer of fat on my body and no muscle. I couldn't even bring myself to be naked with her, so being fit is the only way I can see that I would measure up to the girls I want.

What Girls Said 9

  • No judging. That is what you want, that is what you want. There are plenty of girls like that who fit the bill.

    As long as you are not arrogant about it and are simply stating your attraction and realistic wants, I think you are fine. And it is realistic to me.

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  • I totally agree with that. You have to realize as a girl goes through pregnancy and such she won't be the same but I think the biggest issue is wanting someone to value the same kind of lifestyle you have. I workout a lot too and I love it. It's important to have someone who at least understands that.

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    • Thanks for the comment. There are 35 yo moms with bodies that put most younger girls to shame. I'm friends with one woman at my gym who has three kids and has been in fitness magazines, so it's just about commitment to lifestyle and common goals. That's what I want. I want to be with a proud woman who fights hard for her goals in the gym as well as life and has the body to show for it.

    • I agree. It's a ton of work but so worth it. I won't be in a magazine any time soon but I'm not too shabby lol

  • I respect anyone's right to be picky about who they date.

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  • Who cares? If they aren't you're type just say so. Be like I like girls who are as enthusiastic about fitness/running as me.

    Just avoid calling the girls fat, not fit or something. Don't have to be mean though.

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    • Deep down I don't care, but I do care about being labeled as a pig just for wanting a physically attractive girlfriend. I have a lot of female friends and relatives, and they talk. I got more flak for refusing to date this girl who was in my aunt's church group because all my female relatives loved her. It's hard to be honest with them and tell them that I literally couldn't go there with a girl who was so soft and lacked body confidence. It's great if the girl's cute and good-natured, but those things don't get guys dicks hard, crass as that may sound.

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    • I know, and I recognize that it's going to be tough, because the girls I'm into have *tons* of options. That's why I keep myself physically fit, so that I'll be in the running with those types of girls, the kind most guys want to date. I've had a girl tell me I was too short for her (I'm 6'0") and I didn't have enough muscle, so girls can be very picky too.

    • Yep. I mean if you are looking for marriage, the whole life-long commitment, then you should be very picky.

  • I mean, it's sharing a lifestyle, so sure. Just don't be an ass and tell her to spin her body for you're decision making.

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    • No, not at all. You can't force someone to live a certain way, anyhow. I want a girl who is just as motivated as me to be in shape to be in shape and lean year round. I want someone who will push me to be at my best just to keep up with her.

    • There's nothing wrong with that then. You want what you want, and what you want is challenged. It's not a bad thing. All partners should be challenged to be their best. Just make sure its an unfun challenge though. you'll wanna be comfortable with the one you're with and not be made to feel bad if ones doing better than the other. Especially with exercising because males and females progress differently

    • I'm already in really good shape, which is why I want someone who's also in good shape. In my experience, girls don't even like to be with guys who are in much better shape than them because it makes them feel more self-conscious about their bodies. My ideal girl is already lean and muscular and has the confidence to know that she could have any guy she wants. I love self-confidence in a girl, even if it means I have to work harder to stay worthy of her.

  • Date who you like, as long as it's not illegal. You like what you like.. I like pie :)

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  • Well yeah, he worked hard for it, so I think he has the right to choose someone he wants... Think of it as a reward for all your hard work..

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    • I think there's a bit of a double standard. Girls will laud a fit girl who is picky and will date only the fittest and best guys, but girls seem to get angry at the idea that a fit guy would discriminate against girls who aren't in the best shape. It's like they think it's somehow unfair. I just can't make myself attracted to a girl with lots of body fat. It's not even that I'm judging them, I'm just not attracted.

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    • Asker, you need to have thicker skin. I honestly don't care what my family or friends think. They don't like it, well boo hoo, I didn't start dating the person for them! Because I know what I like and am aloof towards their opinions I'm labeled as the bitch in my family. And you know what? I owned that shit! Yes, I owned that name! Maybe you should too.. Well not exactly "The Bitch" but maybe "The Jerk" or whatever they choose to label you.

    • No, I'll never be that way and don't really want to be. That's great that you have an eff off attitude about doing what you want, but that's you, not me. There's good and bad in everything. Not caring has a downside just the same as caring has a downside. It's just a matter of which you choose to be.

  • You're right, if a guy puts enough effort to make himself really fit, he should be able to hold his girlfriend up to the same standard of fitness that he holds himself up too.

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  • usually they do.

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