Too busy for a relationship?

The guy I've been dating (not officially.. More like hanging out with) can only see me like every other weekend-at most 3 times a month. We're both 17. This wasn't a problem when I lived far away. I originally lived by him, then moved, now recently moved back and he still kept the same schedule of barely ever seeing me. I thought it was only because of distance, but I guess he's that busy. He's shy about relationship things so we've only hugged a few times and kissed once (not on our last 2 dates though). I feel like maybe because in total we've only hung out with each other 8 times in 5 months. We both initiate dates-he even does more than me-but he always has to "check his schedule" and "confirm our dates later when it gets closer". He plays sports 6 days a week, goes to church on Sunday, and tournaments/vacations on most weekends. We haven't had any sort of "relationship talk" which is what I know we need. But we're both shy, and when we're hanging out that conversation never seems to come up at all. I don't understand. If a guy is genuinely interested, would he do anything to spend time with a girl? Or is it a better sign that he is more focused on family, sports, and church at this point so that later he will be more focused on me in the long run?


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What Guys Said 1

  • Guys will find time for things they feel the most strongly about. The kind of dedication he puts into sports will also be the same kind of dedication he puts into a relationship, if he finds the right relationship. If he is not doing that with you now, it is not likely that he will suddenly start doing it later. That behaviour does make it seem like a relationship with you is not at the top of his list, even if he enjoys it. He clearly enjoys other things more.

    You really should have that relationship talk sooner rather than later, even if it is hard to bring up, because you need to get some things out in the open and get to know his feelings. At his age, a committed relationship is quite probably super low on the list of things to do, though that could be modified by religion a bit if he thinks he will have to just settle with someone sooner rather than later if he wants to actually have sex in the next few years. But that nonchalance is a red flag for long-term stability for sure.

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What Girls Said 1

  • He's busy. He has a life. Why should he put his life on hold just to make you happy?

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