Do I expect way too much from men in dating?

So I have had 3 proper boyfriends an dated 4 altogether. I have had guys take me cinema, cook for me, buy me flowers etc. I don't expect that as romance is dead these days but u appreciated what they did at that time.

All I expect is an honest respectful person that makes an effort with me as I do them. For a first date a country walk or coffee is fine I don't care for restaurants or anything as its not ideal to get to know someone.

Maybe when after months a nice spontaneous date night or meal or drinks would be nice but all I actually care for is time with a person. I've met guys in person an from online. Most lie an say they want something more when really sex is all they care for. Some disappear an don't explain after planning a first date. This happened two days ago an few weeks before.

I feel like men in real life an men online are mostly fake an not actually mature enough to have a relationship. Even older guys I try but it don't make one bit of difference sometimes their worse.

In terms of looks I have dated ugly, average an good looking guys. So I am not even fussy but I know I have my flaws like many do an i am working on them lately an trying to be productive in life.

My last boyfriend was start of June didn't last long an he basically was after sex only after two weeks he wanted it I said not ready an he asked me to change myself for him. That was never gonna happen. A guy had the nerve to request I change instead of doing what guys who want just sex do an go on tinder or find an easy girl. He tried to trick me convinced me he cared bought me flowers. He wanted sex after one date well a country walk.

He says if I can change then great but if not he's gone. So he dumped me. But after he said all this I was upset he said he was just angry an didn't mean it but he did.

i feel like all guys may be somewhat like this now an people say I expect too much so should I


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Yuck yuck yuck. The guys you date
    It makes me mad that guys lie for sex. just be honest there are plenty of woman who only want sex. Go after those.

    Me personally u might think this is dumb of me. I don't date girls right now. I look for a friends with benefits but I'm honest about my approach. And I only search for girls like that online. But for me that because I know my self enough to know that I'm not ready for. A relationship.

    Now I believe in romance. Its not dead its just lost on the selfish. On guys part and gals.

    A lesson u need to learn is. Guys will go put of there way for sex. They will pay they will teaval far distances for sex.

    What u need to do is tell them on first date or first chat is that u have a no sex rule for 3 months. But have the guy still take u out no texting and messaging and crap. face to face hanging out. so u can read him.

    Most men will lie and say nah man I'm a good one.

    There are some good ones who won't cheat I know a lot of these guys. I Alps have friends who are sleeze and cheat. but the "good" ones are very rare or taken
    2/10 are good

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    • Yeah it's trashy to lie when they can get it from easy women anyway. I do tell them no sex yet that don't mean they give up lol.

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    • One last bit. if that's you in the profile picture you are gorgeous. I can see why they would rush into that lol.

      But from your story I can respect the fact that your classie gal. Not to many of those.

      Double wammie you are a catch in personality and beauty you'll find the right guy.

      Also stop making guys take you out to the theater lol. We should want to be original with our efforts. I mean its cool if u want your first date to be there at the movies.

      If not atop going there u can't talk at the movies u need to poke in his head. and see if he's genuine or just saying what u want to hear

    • That is me yeah. Ah thanks for that. I wish I wasn't tbh bet I would be married otherwise. Guys only see me sexually sadly. I am a nice fun girl an very loyal too. Lol I only went cinema on one first date other time it was just a day out with a boyfriend years ago. It's not good for first date I know aha. Happy valentines :)

Most Helpful Girl

  • You shouldn't have to do something you don't want to just for a guy. If you don't want to have sex with him then he shouldn't pressure you into it. You're better off without him.

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What Guys Said 9

  • It's wrong for guys to ask you to change just for them and so they could have sex with you. Don't change yourself to please others, stand strong, and be yourself. Don't let anyone else tell you you're not worthy, because you are. If I was on a date with a girl, what matters the most would be spending time with her and enjoying our time together. I think you're being reasonable here, and it's not your fault. You're a very nice and beautiful girl, and if a guy doesn't like you for who you are, then he's missing out. I really hate guys or people who use others just for sex. I'm here for you.

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  • Not all guys only want sex, but you might have to kiss a few frogs before finding a worthwhile guy. Also, it's important to remember that a lot of guys are having just as much trouble finding a worthwhile partner as you are. I only started dating again a couple months ago and I have already had several bad experiences. But, I'm not going to let the bad experiences I have had get to me and neither should you. Because there is someone out there for you and myself, we just have to be willing to wide through the undesirables to find them.

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    • Majority do let's be real here not saying all but more then 80% do want it an fast. Before getting to know a girl. An yeah I know guys have it tough to not disputing that for a second. It does go both ways u agree. i just feel fed up cus I have had 3 bad experiences this year an it's only July 6months of hell. So it feels even worse cus of the amount of let downs in short spans of time

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    • "Majority do let's be real here not saying all but more then 80% do want it an fast. Before getting to know a girl." So a statement like that isn't prejudgmental and it some how only applies to the guys you have meet when you clearly gave no indication that it does?

    • Look I am not looking for an argument I have enough going on in my life. All I meant was guys I've met an known have been wanting only sex that's a fact an my experience not saying all are but guys are very focused on sex you got to be stupid not to know that

  • Hell naw. You shouldn't lower your standards and y'all just started dating. He should respect how you feel and not give you am option.

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    • Not dating anyone but literally guy wanted sex date one then he said he understand not yet then 2nd date tried loads then it ended cus he said I want sex an if I can't change for him he's gone so he's gone

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    • That is sad. People just don't care no more. With so many churches and people going you'll think the world be a better place. I just don't understand. Even I try to better myself every moment I get.

    • Yeah people expect things too quick an when they haven't even made one bit of effort to begin with crazy

  • We all have our expectations, yours are no different than most people: to find a genuine, caring peraon who loves you for you.

    So no, you're not expecting too much out of men, you've just had a bad luck streak of jerks only interested in sex.

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  • I am really sorry that you have dated these losers. There are still nice guys out there that will give you what you are expecting. You are not expecting too much by the way.

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  • I think you might need to chill a bit and expect to have FUN from dating and less about getting a relationship. Yeah a lot of guys just wanna have sex thats true but thats also how things are. Another point, that even if the guy is a great guy with good intentions guess what? He STILL is gonna expect sex. You dont expect too much of men though. I think you just haven't met the right type of guys as of yet.

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    • Yeah guess what I know that but sex on a second date is far too soon as I don't know the person you prove my point as I already knew guys want sex other guys deny it to me when it's a fact. an yeah I guess I think I don't need a guy anyway not for now

    • Yeah dating now a days sucks trust me i know

  • Looks like you ran out of space again. :)

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  • Far too long and boring to read. What you need is a chase scene in your book

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  • yes a tad too much

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    • Don't be so rude

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