Is dating a guy my age a bad idea for me?

I am kinda looking for somone a bit older than me 25 - 35 maybe. I'm 22. But well that is easier said than done because most guys I meet are my age or younger than men

The reason I'm looking a bit older, is because I want to settle down rather sooner than later, you know and I feel guys my age aren't ready for that. Right?
But well as I said, I don't meet that many older guys and all men that DO show interest are my age. And I like some of them as well, I just can't shake this feeling that there won't be a future for us, because ultimatley they want what I want now, much later in life.

Is that just in my head? Or would you say that that is a reasonable assumption?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • There may be a bit of truth to what you're feeling especially if you've put it out there in previous relationships that you want to settle down, and you've been met with a constant string of men you're age or younger, who aren't ready for that, but just as there are men who don't want to settle down that are your age, there are women too, which means, there are probably some men your age that do want to settle down to so simply discounting all of them, may end up hurting you. You may need to try a dating site if you are convinced on the age thing to try and find older men, but also letting guys know either in person or on your profile that you are looking for something a lot more serious will cut out those that have no desire to do that and you and they know to move on instead of getting all involved and then getting hurt later.

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    • I don't really previous relationships. I've dated, but never serious and no I didn't tell them I want to settle down soon

      And I'm not really convinced about the age thing, that's why I was asking. I just don't want to spend years with a guy for him to wait to be at the point I am now, you know?

    • That's why I'm saying you might want to try a dating site which would take care of the age thing and let guys know up front that you are interested in something more serious because that is what you want because it is a bit true that we all tend to be a bit more free and wanting to sew our wild oats when we are younger, but if you are beyond that stage, you do need to let it be known that that is what you want, maybe not at that exact moment, but in the long term of your dating that person.

What Guys Said 3

  • I think you're probably right. Lots of guys your age are trying to bang as many girls as they can, or just starting their careers. Have you tried any dating sites?

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    • I haven't really. I feel kinda weird about it. I'm still in college, so I can't afford paid ones and I live in a fairly small town so I don't know I'd feel embarrassed to see someone I know there

      But you're not the only one to suggest that. I don't know maybe I will look into it. I just feel odd about it

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    • I doubt I'd get any replies like that

      Any other advice on how to meet guys a bit older?
      I am interning right now, but flirting at work is kinda awkward and it seems like everyone is already married

    • Not sure... I don't really like a bar scene, and I'm not a pickup artist. Add work to the mix and I tend to use dating sites. You might try the gym. Its summer, so there's bound to be some events going on where you could mingle some.

      You might be right that you need to finish school and move to a bigger city.

  • a girl dates or a marries an older guy that is very normal, and it's your preference so i dont see there is nothing wrong with that

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    • I know there's nothing wrong with it, but as I said it's easier said than done.

      What I was asking was kinda the opposite, if dating a guy that is my age is a bad idea for me?

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    • ok. Any advice on how to meet someone a bit older? Because as I said I AM struggling with it

    • They are probably around you... your friends friends... the people you see occasionally or just go for a dating site

  • if you want a more mature man who wants a serious relationship. Date men older than yourself

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    • well as I said, it's just easier said than done. So I was reevaluating my strategy.

      thanks for the reply

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    • I'm still in college actually.

      I'm interning this summer though and didn't find someone

      Might try tinder when the new semester starts

    • Look at match and OK Cupid too.

What Girls Said 1

  • Believe me, most older men would love to have a younger woman as their spouse. My last ex was 9 years older than me. However, I was with him for quite a while and our relationship grew stale. Tbh, I want to date more and meet more people. Once you're married things change in regards to obligations. I'm sorry but I'm too much of a free spirit. Think about that as well. There are some older women out there that wish they could've explored more before marriage

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    • I don't know, I've dated and I didn't think it was fun at all, or something I would want to continue doing, so I don't think I'll be one of those women

      How did you meet your ex, if you don't mind me asking? Because as I said it's hard for me to meet people outside of my age group

    • Through work. I was placed by a temp agency at a bindery and he was the one that flirted with me. I do like that about older men. They seem to be more decisive when it comes to flirting. Younger men or men our age pussy foot a lot.

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