I love her, she loves me, but she has a boyfriend.. Please I need an advice I just need to know where I stand I appreciate your advice in advance?

So, I have met her during finals week and I was there for her helped her pass a class she is failing, we got to be really close texting all day everyday and hanging out so often.. She has a boyfriend and they been together for 4 years but they are having issues that he never give he the sexual attention and not being satisfied when he does or even be there for her he would cancel on her to go play poker.. So we got to be always together started with inviting me over for movie and then turned to be I love you.. As what she always says it's the best sex of her life, she says I'm like a gift from God to her, I'm always there for her she got a ticket I was there, she needed help financially she asked me before him Not that she is a gold digger she just trust me.. And when I was like we need to know where we all stand I can't be without a title she was like I love you both and I'm Not ready to leave him.. Yesterday she was crying over my shoulder and today she is with him on vacation. I love the girl and I wish to have her for me only I just can't handle it and can't let go.. I told her when you get back from your vacation I need you to decide she was like I can never think of losing you and she just cried all night about it she defiantly care but what should do? How should I win this competition.. Also I have forgotten to mention she always says stuff regarding future like our kids will be like this she also said I can't ever see you with anyone else and I understand how hard it is on you and please give me time.. thank you


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Move on, meet another girl because she's too invested in the guy (four years). Date other girls, it will help. Stop talking to her completely. No contact whatsoever. Then if she really is serious, she knows she doesn't have you and she can't because you have too much self respect to encourage her to cheat on her boyfriend and put you in the backburner.

    You already let her know what she must do for you to accept her. Don't block her, just don't contact her for two months. She will contact you, don't worry. She'll miss you and contact you when she's bored, horny, or in need of financial or emotional support. Don't give it to her. Being too busy. With other important things in your life and you dating other girls will give her the biggest hint that you are serious. Tell her that you're giving her 3 months to decide and break it off with the boyfriend if she wants to be with you.

    So stop talking to her, and tell her to call you when she's broken up and she's ready to move on . (You don't want her to be crying on your shoulder about breaking up with her bfn). Let her go through it alone and give her a chance. Slowly, when she calls you.

    Hope this helps.

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    • I don't think I could agree more.. That is my point too much self respect to stay , love her too much to just let go.. But I will defiantly do what you recommended it makes perfect sense.. Thank you so much

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    • Thank you so much, this made my day and thats what I'm going to do :) i seriously can't wait until she gets back and we have this talk i feel like i have a huge heavy load on my chest that gonna get off regardless.. i followed you and messaged you to keep you posted on what happens.. thanks again you were the most helpful..

    • That's Great! Thank you for the kind words definitely brought a smile to my face to know you're doing better. :-) I'm very happy and honored to help somehow.
      Also, thanks for following :-)
      Keep me posted! I still don't see a message in inbox though. Perhaps try again :)

What Girls Said 1

  • First off its not a competition! She's obviously hurting a bit because she may be slowly getting bored of her boyfriend and liking you a lot more on the way! But obviously she doesn't want to just throw away a four year relationship out the window! If she doesn't have an answer when she gets back, I know it may be difficult for you but you will have to turn around and tell her its either yourself or him! I mean the boyfriend i assume has no idea about this, so its only fair on you both that she makes the decision!

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    • Thank you so much 👍🏻

What Guys Said 1

  • Bad situation man... you need to make her choose and live by what she chooses. And even still, starting a relationship from cheating is never ideal... Sounds like she has some self respect issues...

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    • That's one of the things she is scared of like I will be able to trust her.. She says m when he kiss her she imagine it's me I was like why are you still with then she was like give me time our relationship is ending it could be a week it could be 6 months I said I can't.. My question is when she gets back from vacation what's the best way to approach and ask for the choice and make sure I ask the right way.. I appreciate your help

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    • Im gonna try to be as calm as possible and if she didn't choose me i will just delete her from my life.. God I hate being an option

    • Ya it could be tough if she does not choose how you might think, but in the long term it is a much better choice.

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