I told him what was in my heart and left it at that... why do I feel so much better, even if he doesn't respond?

I finally told him that he was pushing me away because I cared and that I knew this because I used to do the same thing with guys that cared, but that I wasn't going to play this push/pull game with him. I told him I saw the pattern and had worked hard to fix it, which is why I began to reevaluate things when he started pulling back on me. I told him I knew he was a good guy and just hurt - not a jerk like all the others and - that if he wanted - I was willing to work with him on it because I felt like for once in my life I found someone who has a good heart and is just broken like me. I said that we always went for people who never cared or pressured us, which caused us to open up and get hurt instead of going against the grain and going for people who made us uncomfortable for all the right reasons. I said that if I didn't get a response, I would go on about my life, make peace with it, and wish him the best. I just had to take this chance because life is short and you gotta take a risk. It's been two days and I have no idea of he'll ever respond (because he takes a while to think on things), but either way, I feel peace about it. I spoke from the heart and I feel comfort. Why? Why, even though I was being vulnerable, do I feel better about it, even if he never responds?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • bc you weren't being vulnerable -thats a misnomer- you were being BRAVE. people call what you did vulnerable to make themselves feel better for being cowards.

    you were brave you had courage and you were honest and it was beautiful and you're soil bis feeling excellent atm. whether he responds or not you're freer now than you were a little while ago and it feels amazing.

    respectg. i think what you did was a awersaomew and the situation is like exactly what 70% people are dealing with at any given time, bc they are encouraged to play games. instead of being courageous they just follow the leader and spend hours on gag reading into things that wouldst be saudi if they'd just set the person straight right off the bat,.

    this is very inspiring for many people even if they dont get it now. im just so impressed. you were calm and explained everything and didn't have to be a cold ass or a hopeful twit about it. nice:)

    this is making me smile.

    if more people did this the game players would have no where to play.

    props:)

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    • Thank you so much for the kind words! They made me smile. :) I guess, I've been feeling good, but I had a twinge of sadness today because I realized that I put myself out there and it has been 3 days... he's not going to respond. I guess, I just don't understand why someone would say they liked you, thought you could have something good, and wanted to continue talking, only to ignore your light, casual text (something he has never done). I just finally realized I wasn't going to play games. I laid my heart on the line and I was so hoping he'd see the loving woman in front of him and message me back. He's the first guy I've really liked in my 3 years of being single. I guess, I should look at it like this: even though he sorta used me, if he can't handle a woman that's straightforward or see a good woman and value her, then I would have not been treated right or made to feel good... it would have just been more games. I have a big heart and it just hurts to care/open up and get ignored.

    • The other thing that kills me is that all of our friends say he's an amazing guy and so sweet... yet he treats me this way. It just really sucks to have been in this situation.

What Guys Said 3

  • You came clean and did absolutely nothing wrong. If I received such a caring text from someone I was dating, not going to lie but I probably tear up a bit. I can really tell you like this guy and hope everything works out for you two!

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    • Thank you. It's been 3 days and he hasn't said a word. First my ignored friendly text since he said he wasn't ready but wanted to continue talking. And now, my final attempt to say how I felt and say I wasn't going to play a push/pull game... ignored. It just kinda hurts. I wish someone would have saw why I did what I did (when I was in his shoes) and been there for me like I tried to be for him... I would have cried too. I just don't understand why he said he liked me, thought we could have something, still wanted to talk, and then... ignores me. It kinda hurts and I feel used. 😔

    • I get where you're coming from since I've experienced something similar. I won't sugar coat it, that pain will be digging into you, but for only as long as you let it. The guy at the end of the day is a giant piece of shit, the least he can do is respond, just purely out of respect from one human to another. You deserve someone o so much better than this clown, you put your feelings on the line and he completely ignored them.

      I wish you the best of luck, you deserve someone who will love you, respect you, and show the same amount of affection as you show them. The guy only cares about himself at the end of the day, don't let someone as despicable as that get you down. I don't even know you but based off how you carry yourself and that text you sent, you're the type of person that is an absolute joy to be around. Keep being yourself and you will find Mr. Right :)

    • I know you're right and I'm trying to change the way I think and it's working. I used to always believe it was me, but truly it is him. He is incapable of the kind of love I am and that is no one's fault but his own. And, like you said, he could at least have the decency to respond, especially after making me think he liked me, thought we could have something good, and wanted to continue talking... ya know? I believe I had one guy who really pushed me and scared me when I was recovering... like came on strong when I had never made him think I liked him that way, unlike this guy who brought up a first date and potentially meeting parents and such... and even then, I let him down nicely. You know, I'm beginning to see that maybe we aren't that alike after all and maybe that's why he was scared I would leave after I saw the real him... a dickhead.

      Thank you so much! I have so much love to give and I want to find a guy who reciprocates that! I wish you well, too! :) P. S. I have a date Friday!

  • Because you can now get closure. You've done all you can do

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  • You just got something off your chest, it's not a cliche as you just experienced.

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