Are my boyfriend and I incompatible?

When I'm with my boyfriend, I feel like a million bucks. There are qualities that I love about him that are EXTREMELY rare in my experience. However, there are things that I don't know if I can take. For example, he only talks to me maybe once a week. He doesn't communicate much, and he doesn't take me out on dates. We only meet at his apartment (no we haven't slept together). OK, I know what you are thinking, it doesn't sound like much of a relationship and it doesn't sound like he actually likes me all that much. But I really think it's just who he is. He is really different from all other guys, and I think these things are kind of the consequence for the qualities that I love about him (really passionate about work, etc). I haven't been able to find anyone that I really liked before him because of those rare qualilties that I look for, but I don't think I can take this pseudo relationship for long. I'm not high maintenance but I would like somewhat of a normal relationship (talking regularly, going out on dates), and I don't know if he wants those things. Sure, I could ask him for more couple-like behavior, but I don't want it to be like a job for him if he doesn't naturally desire those things. Are we just incompatible? Can this relationship ever work out?

Updates:
it's not that he is not affectionate, he is SUPER affectionate. I am just not ready to sleep with him yet.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Maybe he's just shy, or waiting for you to initiate the couple behavior. Honestly I dream about hugging and kissing my girlfriend, but she's really shy and awkward around me, so I have to wait until she is ready to go that far. Don't worry, when he's ready he'll let you know.

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What Guys Said 1

  • i don't know. this could be the proof of the presence of platonic love. i think you need to a quill to start off now.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I dated someone like that before. You're going to have to make a choice whether you can deal with it, or it's time to walk away. I had to. His family wasn't very affectionate, so he grew up in a home where you don't express or show how you feel about someone. Even though he cared for me (which I only realized once he cried when I finally ended it) I couldn't deal with it anymore.

    I felt like more of a friend then girlfriend, and he shouldn't have to change his personality to make me happy. You have some serious thinking to do. If it helps, in the end I was happy about my decision. Hopefully he and I will find someone more suitable if it's meant to be. I just know I'm happier now than I was then.

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