Was I being too mean?

My girlfriend was complaining too much about other things (not me) too much and I felt very uncomfortable around her and couldnt help myself insulting her, telling her I don't want to see her if she doesn't fix her behavior else I'll break up with her. I wasn't in a mood to hangout and was having a shitty day earlier, but was I going too far?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • On the one hand, you shouldn't insult your girlfriend... on the other hand, it sounds like she pushed you over the edge. That's understandable especially if you were at the limit of being stressed out and not having your own space. I've done that before with a boyfriend (there are times where I have stressful things going on, and even though I care about him I momentarily am just plain pissed off and need time by myself to process what's going on).

    Also, it's a little extreme to tell her you're going to break up with her - but then again maybe it will snap her out of complaining (if this has been an ongoing issue) and fix her problems.

    Bottomline, I'd apologize to her for snapping, explain where you're coming from, and tell her straight up "I was having a shitty day, but I also feel like you should address the issues you're having because nothing is going to improve if you're just complaining all the time. I want our time together to be fun and I support you; let's try to fix what's going on, and move on"

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Most Helpful Guy

  • In my opinion yes, you went to far. You had no right to insult her, let alone threaten her with a break up over something so petty.

    "Men who understand women won't argue with them" - Corey Wayne.

    You should have said "Listen, I know you've been through a hard day, but I'm really tired and I honestly can't put up will this mess. Maybe you can come talk to me when you've calmed down?". Say it in a playful sort of way, but be assertive... let her know that you won't put up with it.

    Insulting her is just going to lead to other arguments, and now that you've threaten her with a break up, she's going to be thinking about a break up herself OR she's going to talk to her friends about it OR she's going to bring it up in a future argument.

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What Girls Said 0

The only opinion from girls was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!

What Guys Said 2

  • I think you over reacted a little and not having the best of days pushed you over the edge. While too much complaining can be annoying you may have gone a little far. Being in a relationship is about being supportive and sensitive to your partners need, but that does not mean that gives them the right to complain over every little thing

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  • You shouldn't insult but I personally wouldn't be around anyone who complains about things which can't or aren't going to be fixed. A complaint should only be voiced to notify you there is a problem which you can and may be willing to do something about, not just to fill the air with whining.

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