Guys, To all you lovely men out there!! What are reasons you would be afraid to have feelings for a woman and openly admit that to her?

You see, my best friend recently confessed thag he is afraid to have feelings for me so what are some reasons you guys would be afraid of having feelings for a woman who is your best friend but you also already have sex with? Just curious.. i don't quite understand myself especially why he would boice that?


0|0
20

Most Helpful Guy

  • One reason, in particular, why I would be afraid to have feelings for a woman and openly admit it to her is if there's something I deeply disagree with her on (or find something that she believes that I don't agree with and I'm extremely sensitive about) and feel might jeopardize the entire relationship, in the end or that there's something about her that I really don't know if I could ever "see past" so to speak. It's more my own shallowness, I guess. I've had several girls in the past that I was really good friends with and could totally see myself with EXCEPT one or two things kept me from doing so. Sometimes, at least for me, there can be things that, to me, are so important that they could mess things up for me entirely and I can't be sure that I'd keep interest. For instance, one girl I knew, even though I really liked her, she was far too sensitive and I couldn't be sensitive enough for her. I'd end up hurting her feelings and never realize it and I can't do that to any woman. I remember I cracked a joke, once, just teasing her a little just like I would any other girl that I had talked to and they were always fine with it or would maybe laugh or "throw it back" and such. She didn't seem to be bothered at first. About a few hours later, she just stopped talking to me completely ignoring me. She was like that for a few days. I had no idea what I did. I can't handle that kind of sensitivity. I'm VERY sensitive, but that's more than I can handle. I wouldn't be sensitive enough for her and that's just asking for tons of arguments and rough areas. Even though I really have feelings for her, I'm afraid to develop them because I've convinced myself that a relationship with her is a bad idea for reasons I know will be problematic later on in the relationship. It's usually on my end, though.

    0|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 19

  • He thinks that his life is more or less stable as it is. Like a funambulist who is still flailing his arms to regain balance. He is scared you might be the little push that will make him lose his balance. He likes you more than what he deems "healthy" for the balance he is trying to have in his life. It can mean two things.
    1- He might be willing to lose balance for you and try to fix his life afterwards (might mean losing his current boyfriend)
    2- He might have to jettison you from his life to regain his balance.

    When he told you this, that was his way of "putting you in a box" officially in his mind. He decided right then that he couldn't go further with you at least at that moment. I think he might be malleable though since he had to tell himself out loud to convince himself...

    At least, that's how I see it. Does it makes sense?

    0|0
    0|0
    • I think so... im going to copy and paste to you what my last comment was on here... i actually think you may be very helpful lol

    • Show All
    • @Asker "but i dont think he was very happy with my messege lol" Well, that's kinda his fault no? :-) Is it true that you don't love him anymore or you are just saying this to see him again? Either way, I don't see why he wouldn't want to see you anymore. Friends can make little mistakes right?

    • I said it because i think telling him i love him was a mistake.. i do love him but I'd rather push that aside if it means i have him in my life. Im unsure if he replied because i told him thag and he was partially relieved, if he was annoyed, if he was upset i said that.. im unsure why he finally responded

  • It's a bullshit line.

    No, seriously. It means "I don't want a relationship with you, but I'd like to keep having sex with you until I find someone that I DO want to be in a relationship with, and I'm laying down the groundwork for dumping you when that happens."

    0|0
    0|0
  • Because I have no idea how she'd react, and if she didn't like me back, I don't know what would happen.
    I'm not afraid to HAVE feelings, just afraid to tell them.

    0|1
    0|0
  • If you're having sex then its a case of why by a cow when there's free milk

    0|0
    0|0
    • We have only slept togethwr 2 times in a year

    • Show All
    • What he just said was he doesn't have the same feelings for you that you do him. You won't ever be bf/gf

    • So then why would he try and talk feelings with me before and actually admit to having feelings for me which he did later? Sorry i am actually just confused with him by this point

  • I think it depends on the context which the conversation came up, but he might be trying to tell you he only sees you as a fuck buddy

    0|0
    0|0
    • We were just talking and he flips on my one day that he is with his boyfriend and that is his life partner and thats not going to change... seriously out of no where while we were talking. Then apologizes and of course i make fun of him a few times about it over the next month or 2 and he says finally " how many times do i need to say im sorry. I didn't mean to take it out on you but that was more for myself" i asked what he meant for himself he says " i am afraid to have feelings for you" i asked why and he says that his life is such a cluster fuck as it is and he sometimes thinks he doesn't deserve to be happy... i dont really understand

  • If I had been vulnerable to my first few lovers and gotten burned I would probably make myself les vulnerable for awhile

    0|0
    0|0
  • Well to remain friends. 9 times out of 10, and it happened to me, you tell woman you like them she gets lossy acting and avoids you and you're a forever a stalker to her and all of her friends. Its weird no matter how hard I tried not to tell my feelings I did anyway a because I wanted them to at least know. Life can throw some situations and you never know if you will see them again, so I didn't want to regret

    0|0
    0|0
  • Friends can make the best relationships and lovers. Its good he took a chance and shared his feelings. Much props to him. He's attempting to pull himself out of the friendzone. Give him a chance. He maybe your all and everything.

    0|0
    0|0
    • I gave him a chance.. lol i told him i had feelings the first time and he ran away... lol

    • Show All
    • No its not like that lol he still had a chance.. he's had 50 alteady haha

    • I know what you laying down... one chance is enough. 50 ? No he blew it at one in my book.

  • well that was his way of admitting he has feelings for you while letting you know he's nervous. he's basically asking you to tell him you return his feelings

    0|1
    0|0
  • Because almost every time I show a girl any kind of interest other than friendship, she hits the road running. You have that happen a few times, you would be afraid too. I don't know why women are so immature about this, but it's just the way it is.

    0|0
    0|0
  • see the thing is depending on the friends attractiveness if a dude like me was attracted to his female friends i wouldn't tell her because i would lose a friend because they usually dont feel the same way i only show feelings to girls i dont wanna be friends with

    0|0
    0|0
  • If you flirt with a lot of guys or sleep around a lot... he could be scared to fall for you... because it would hurt him.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I have admitted to my crush that I had feelings for her, She liked me and stuff, we stopped talking out of nowhere, then we just became friends again and i think i'm crushing again Lol, FUCKKKK

    0|0
    0|0
  • it will be because we are afraid to loose her as a bestfriend

    0|0
    0|0
  • Fear of rejection, that she wouldn't be interested.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Rejection, in todays relationships just because you have sex doesn't mean your in love

    0|0
    0|0
  • If she dont like you back. Thatd suck

    0|0
    0|0
  • Simple: Rejection.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Some guys have problems with intimacy and showing their feelings, Vegeta never once hugged Trunks until he was about to die because he was too proud and vulnerable to show his feelings, we as men sometimes believe that we must seem invulnerable or we are weak but if Vegeta could learn that vulnerability isn't always bad then we can too, upvote if you support Vegeta.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9oOO68x9uLY

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...