Why aren't some people more realistic about their standards? Why are their standards so high?

I don't understand how people could be trying to find perfection while they themselves are not perfect. I've seen both males and females do this.

For example, I would LOVE to have a boyfriend that's rich, outgoing, hot, loves anime, really smart, great at sex, and really knows how to impress my parents. BUT I know that kind of guy doesn't exist. Even if he did, I'm sure he wouldn't go for a 5, someone who's still dependent on her parents, a virgin, an introvert, and is dealing with depression.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • People are usually influenced by either peer group pressure and societies expected values... which is generally marketing crap...
    Love is blind... I used to think that I would only marry a super model ( like most teen boys) and after being married to a really hot bitch, and getting divorced... then second time round I'm very happy with a below average looking woman, but has a great personality, and loves me as I am...
    Relationships are built on compromise...
    my female cousin is 39 still searching for mr perfect... with no baggage... as if!!! but she has lived in her big sisters shadows and is driven by her parents who have always told her that she has to have a financially stable man and no baggage etc... she's throwing her life away chasing the mythical unicorn...
    Just my thoughts...

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Most Helpful Girl

  • why would you settle for anything less than what you want?

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    • Because you can't get EVERYTHING you want in life, and relationships are about taking the good with the bad. If you're brushing people off just because they're not your dream girl/boy, you're never going to find a date, period.

    • he/she doesn't have to be perfect. he/she just need to meet your standards or what you want, not settle or lower your standards out of desperation

What Guys Said 9

  • From what I see, guys search for overly good looking women.

    However, I see women searching for guys who literally have good looks, plus 1000 other things he "has to have." To add vinegar to the cut, they go around saying the guy is "unsuccessful" if he doesn't have that stuff.

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    • Ummmmm, yeah. I thought that was obvious. Though, I don't see how that makes guys any less shallow. Especially if his idea of hot is very nitpicky AND he's only concern with looks (then complains when the ends up being a bitch or a gold digger).

  • Wow, you are really hard on yourself. Give yourself a break, and please please don't settle for the first guy who gives you some attention. That will lead to misery.

    Lots of 19-year-olds are dependent on their parents. And lots of 19-year-olds suffer from depression. I did. I barely remember that year. Oh, and I was also a virgin at 19. Now I have a great life with a beautiful and sweet girlfriend. It took a bad marriage and a couple of years of therapy and a few years to get to this point. I'm writing in hopes I can give you the courage to wait for a great guy who is crazy about you. But first you have to at least like yourself a little. I'm sure there's a lot to like.

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  • because our eyes is placed in front that means we will only catch sight of others and lost the judgement on our own. If we can live with a mirror or a camera that reflects the impression of others see of us , the standards would blend with self worth to a better balance, which never ever going to happen.

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  • 1 - The media
    2 - The groups the people are sitting with ( this is even higher effect than the media )
    3 - People who are looking for mates based on their personality only and dont mind looks and other things , are often bashed as having a "worst taste"

    If ur number 3 , u will often hear a friend say ( why take this when u can have that? )

    At this point - sadly - there is no repairing it , both men and women are shallow and that is a very large percentage of them both , one can just hope that when he make a move on someone , he makes it on the right person :)

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    • I don't understand how it's the media's fault. I mean even when I was a teen I always knew the media wasn't reality. Seriously, outside of pop culture, no one looks that hot or has that kind of money. Maybe I'm just smarter than my peers. *shrugs*
      I've never heard of #3 before though. Perhaps because I don't have crappy friends.

    • Maybe u did not fall for the media , thats obvious from ur question
      And #3 is just personal experience and many people i know who were good with others personality and such , from just 1 bad friend are now the worst raciest **** ever , the effect was really a change in their character that i stopped talking or dealing with them all together

  • Too many people under 40 these days are like Kirby... living in Dreamland.

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  • I blame the media.

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  • Because we first world people controlled by the media. Are instincts tell us to go for the best but the media pushes us to have even higher standards.

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    • I don't understand how it's the media's fault. I mean, even when I was a teen I always knew the media wasn't reality. Seriously, outside of pop culture, no one looks that hot or has that kind of money. Maybe I'm just smarter than my peers. *shrugs*

    • Not completely the media but society in general pushes higher insane standards on both genders. The media manipulates by showing the perfect human on TV 24/7. Some people literally expect their lover to be like the TV person.

  • Ha! I agree with this 100%

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  • Many people overestimate themselves, that's it.

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What Girls Said 0

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