Guys, how would you react if a girl said this after your first date?

This guy asked me out. I do like him, at least so far, so I said yes. But now that I've had more time to think about it, I'm not sure if that was the best decision. I've got a lot that I'm dealing with right now and I'm honestly unsure if I can be a decent girlfriend at any point in the immediate future (assuming the date goes well and we even consider pursuing a relationship, of course).

So I was thinking... maybe it would be better if we could just hang out as friends for a while, no pressure or obligations, and if he still wants to date me once I'm in a better place for that, then we could try again.

What would you think, or how would you feel, if a girl said that to you? I don't want to hurt him needlessly or anything. :/


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I would assume she wasn't feeling me. If I was asked to hang out by her after that message I would hang out with her if she was cool. Just don't lead ol dude on.

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    • Definitely no intention of leading him on! So is there any way to say it to make it clear that I'm being honest about the timing being the only problem?

    • Other than to outright state it like you intend? No. It's ultimately up to him how he takes it. You can only tell him the truth.

What Guys Said 3

  • That would really hurt, especially if I like the girl. However, if she does offer the possibility that we can get together later, then I guess that lessens the blow a bit. If she explains it, then I can be more understanding about it.

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    • I mean, I would definitely explain it, because I am interested in him. It's just the timing. I'd totally understand if he didn't want to stick around though. Is there any nicer way to say this, anything that might hurt less?

    • If you explain it all and leave out hope that you two could get together later, then that should be good. It'll sting no matter how you say it, but it's the best way.

  • Lol I Put Myself In The Friend Zone On Purpose - Cuz I Don't Want To Do It To The Girl - I Would Feel Relieved - I Have Yet Another Female Friend - That Can Help Me Pick Up Chicks - But I'm Assuming Your Guy Is Not Me - And He Really Wants You - Well You Just Crushed His Heart - Depending On How Much He Loves You - It'll Take Him A Few Months - Or A Year To Get You Out Of His Mind - Especially If You're Beautiful!

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  • In my humble opinion, I would say to be as honest as possible. Leading a guy on is a lot more troubling for him than you just simply saying you don't have time.

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    • Thanks for the opinion. Is it leading him on if I do genuinely want to go out with him in the future? I feel really conflicted because I do want to date him and I think we're really compatible, but I also feel like this is a terrible time.

      But I don't want to make things hard for him, either, so if dropping the possibility of a future is the best choice, I will. I just don't want to. :/

What Girls Said 3

  • Not a dude, but I'm sure that many would feel no obligation to you then. Some would head back to the market to find another girl, others would wait some time then move on, some would never leave, or some would think you're playing games. Finally some would wait until you're ready.

    It depends.

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  • i did that... lol turned out okay, better being honest

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  • its fine i think.

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