Should I be upset?

My boyfriend and me have only been dating 4 months and all the sudden he tells me we can't hang out as much and see each other because he needs to balance his homework, guy time and me. He is on the leadership team at our college and well he told me the other day that his leadership team is before me and I am second place. We hardly hang out as it is... He said next semester we can have lunch together during the week but that's it and sometimes hang out on the weekend. Lately its become that if I get to hang out with him its a privilege not a right. Am I overacting or is this okay?


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What Guys Said 1

  • Hard to tell without a better description of your relationship status with him, but if that were me, it would be planting the booty call seed. Keep you at arms distance, which its working if your asking here. Keep you out of his business, but close enough to call you up for a weekend fling. Its up to you to judge whether to stick around to find out if its worth it or not. I suppose he could truly be that busy, but if your looking for someone to put you as number 1, then you obviously need to move on!

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    • Well we have been like wanting to date each other for forever and finally we can... and we hang out and have a blast then all the sudden he doesn't get a higher position on leadership because "he hung out with me too much and were too close" so now we can't hang out, talk ab our future, and I have to except it or we can't date

What Girls Said 1

  • Never make someone a priority who only makes you an option! Its understandable that he's busy, but he should be making time to see you, not telling you when he can pencil you in and hope you jump at the chance to hang out. My ex pulled the same thing except he was in a frat. He broke up with me, but could still have lunch with me. The second time he broke up he still wanted to be friends and "see what happened." This is his way of getting the best of both worlds. He gets you, but he gets his sense of freedom. If you want a relationship, this does not sound like the guy who is willing to make your relationship a priority. Tell him how you feel about being his number 2, and if he doesn't like that your upset, them let him know that you aren't going to wait around while he decides his priorities. If he refuses to make you one, then walk. Then it's gonna take you being out of his life to see how much he truly wants you in it. Make yourself busy, show him he's not the only thing in your life. Then he will either decide you're important enough to him or his freedom is.

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    • Yeh he said that leadership is before me unless were married....than I can be number 1 but until then I am number 2. Its like a christian leadership so like God is before me. Which makes since but I don't know seems a little unfair. And he basicaly doesn't care if it upsets me I just have to except it

    • It makes sense in a way. But that doesn't mean you should just eat lunch with him and hang out on weekends because of it. That's not really a relationship. He still needs to be able to find a balance. if he can't make you number one now, how do you know that will change if you are married someday? A relationship has to progress, and marriage is just one big step. He has to show you that he's making you a bigger part of his life now. And if he doesn't care that it upsets you, that says a lot

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