How to help an introverted, insecure guy that can't form a complete sentence talking to a girl?

i know that this gets asked a lot, but hopefully somebody will have something to say about this.
im a really introverted person and really insecure about myself. because im always so nervous, even just making smalltalk with a waitress (for example), ill start stuttering just when trying to make a lame joke. by now i realized that unless a girl is really interested in me, i'll never meet a girl in 'real life'.
online i have the same luck. i know that looks are a big part for it to work online, and I don't know if thats the only reason, but i'd say that only 1 in 100 girls ever write me back, and even those conversations end after 2/3 texts back and forth.
im really at my limit... everytime a girl smiles at me (does not happen often) and i can't smile back, it kills me inside, everytime a do get a girl to write me back online, right after, when she stops responding, i just think 'wtf did i do wrong this time?', never getting an answer and ill just start getting even more depressed.
i really dont know what to do at this point,
any feedback is highly apreciated


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Most Helpful Girl

  • A few things:
    One will sound a little looney, and that is look up. Look up at the night sky and think about alllllll the things you're looking at. Learn a little bit about the literal universe and realize that nothing really matters. The sentence you're having such a tough time spitting out, it's not a big deal because... you've seen the universe. That's a big deal. Being alive in it is a big deal and this conversation with this pretty girl isn't as big as all that. So chill out and enjoy whatever happens, or doesn't happen.

    Another is way simpler, and that is practice. With no script, talk to yourself hen you're by yourself. In mirrors, on paper. Get more comfortable with your own personality and way with words. Be as natural as possible, whatever comes to mind first. It also helps to do this with people you trust and know... i. e. Family, maybe a therapist (I know mine definitely helped me with my social anxiety).

    And my last attempt, which is to remember that she is surely as nervous as you in that moment.

    Hope I didn't type too much, and good luck!

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    • lol that first one was a bit more philosophical then i expected :P but im not ruling it out!
      to your second point, you say 'be as natural as possible' but as soon as i'd be 'practicing' it wouldn't feel natural to me... because at the end of the day it isn't
      to your third point... i really doubt it haha

      but anyway, im still being a downer i think... really bad mood atm, i think i have to come back to this later, when im a bit more optimistic :D
      didn't type to much at all, thanks for your opinion! :)

Most Helpful Guy

  • Start doing things with groups like join hiking groups and stuff where you know there will be women.
    there's a site for it but I can't remember it.

    The best thing you can do to get over it is to actually talk to women and face your fear.

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    • groups are a good idea in theory, but i dont think it would work for me. again, im very introverted, i dont really like to waste time. pretending to like something i dont, and having to be with all those people, just hoping to meet a girl, would def not be for me.
      my only 3 interests are music, weed and chess
      there might be a chess club, but prob only nerds, no women, the other 2, there are no groups for

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    • LMAO! can't believe the answer was right in front of me haha
      ill put up an add, looking for members right now

    • Good luck dude

What Girls Said 2

  • I'll let you know the answer if you'll chat with me :p

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  • I would say that just try to be more confident. First you need to fix your self esteem issues by talking to someone close or maybe just saying and recognizing the postive qualities about yourself ( i bet there is a ton). Girls are attracted to confidence because it makes them feel at ease and if you were to gain it you would probably seem more approachable. I hope this helps you out because you seem like a nice guy who just needs to work out some personal stuff. By the way attraction does play a part but i know many gurls including myself that would give a nice, confident and loving guy a chance.

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    • thanks a lot for the kind words
      i guess you're right, low self esteem is def my biggest problem, i think just walking on the street, im always frowning lol
      thanks again for your feedback :)

What Guys Said 3

  • Find a good pick up community in your area. Make sure they:
    1: Focus on self improvement and being a natural man
    2: Don't follow the mystery method (this is important)
    3: They go out regularly
    4: Don't sell you expensive bootcamps (those are almost always a waste of money)
    5: Are fun guys who aren't negative people
    6: Don't use negging (if they call it nagging they are most certainly mystery method, find different guys)
    7: Don't rely too heavily on routines and teach you how to be

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  • Yeah same here, many a brooding relationship has ended because I get way to stressed to do what I'm supposed to do as a boyfriend. The only way I have gotten close to doing it is I found a girl willing to go with my snail up waterfall glued pace. Good luck Buddy! I know I found my in church so if that helps but it may not.

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  • Say this to any girl you want to talk to: "Hi, I am an introvert and I can't form complete sentences when I'm talking to girls."
    Or
    "Hi, I stutter a lot. Please help me."

    She will laugh and everything will work out.

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    • LOL!
      honestly i think she would just walk away, but i really do think thats funny

    • hey, at least you know who's the bitch ;)

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