When do your significant other's insecurities become too much?

We have been dating a few weeks, but I'm starting to see a pattern of things that he's asking for reassurance on. I'm really supportive, and I don't REALLY mind, but now I'm wondering whether it could lead to problems in the future (if he is doubting me)

1) He's constantly asking how big his dick is compared to my exes
2) He asks what my exes were like (financially, how goodlooking and muscular they were) and says he wants to beat them at everything
3) He's always asking whether I have feelings for any of my exes
4) He's constantly saying that I'm out of this league, and doesn't know what I saw in him
5) He told me he loved me the first day we spent together
7) He analyzes everything I say to him (even if I tell him that I trust him)

I don't know what to think...


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Yeah... that's not a good list for a sound, healthy, and lasting relationship. He clearly has a lot of insecurities, and where there's cracks in the dam to begin with... what usually follows is major failure later. At least without some serious personal insight, growth, and maturing. Problem is most guys do not mature past a high school level mentality. It doesn't matter what age they are, or from what generation. I have seen this my entire life, with precious few exceptions. Which is not to be negative or fatalistic about the guy or outlook on your relationship, as much as it's just the consistent pattern I have witnessed, and is clear here on GAG as well. Now, if it were just one or two off that list, that would be one thing, and even fairly "normal" (I'm not a big believer in any kind of negative or insecure thinking as being normal or healthy). But each and every one of those situations listed show very serious and severe insecurity issues.

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    • Thank you for your insight. Yeah, at least half the time when he is bringing these up I kind of laugh them off saying that I think he must be being sarcastic because he's the only person I want to be with, I'm incredibly attracted to him physically, he's amazing, etc (the other half I don't laugh it off, I just flat out try to reassure him). But I feel like it's kind of a wild card because I don't think what I say reassures him.

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    • Yes! I saw your opinion post about astrological signs, and your later comment about your folks under one by a fellow Pisces. Naturally, I had to read that since I love reading about astro questions and issues. and so wasn't at all surprised to read your parents are both very sensitive and can read others quite clearly and accurately. That tends to be natural and unique to Pisces, so I am very thankful to have it in such a strong chart position like my moon. I don't agree that you are a knucklehead at all. Seems to me you have advanced guidance coming from somewhere, which allows you to see the heart, rather than the body, "faults", or missing aspects of a given soul.

    • Thank you, Janice, for giving me the MHO, and the fun conversation :)

What Guys Said 1

  • Give it a little more time. The signs aren't good but give the guy a chance to work out his insecurities. He either will or he won't and then you'll know what to do. But, you'll feel better knowing you gave him a chance. You say your supportive and you don't mind. Maybe that sends the wrong signal. Make it clear that you like him... and that you cannot continue with these insecurities if the relationship is going to amount to anything. The worst thing you can do is support a behavior you find ugly.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Dear god RUN, woman!! He sounds incredibly insecure and it's only going to get worse the longer things go on and the more serious you guys become. He sounds like a "crazy ex boyfriend" story waiting to happen...

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    • I almost forgot: we were also "Facebook official" on the 2nd day that we knew each other lol... I was okay with it after him being so sweet, etc...

      But now I'm kind of regretting it if we break up (which is why I previously thought I'd never do it again with someone). Stupid facebook

    • Yeah, I keep my love life off Facebook. Anyone who needs to know about it knows about it.

  • Why is he like that/.

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  • that was what made me break up with my last boyfriend.

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