My girlfriend has been dressing like a guy, what should I do? Am I being a dick?

So, I like girly girls typically. When my current girlfriend and I started dating she dressed like any other girl. Nothing to sexy or anything, but she looked good and more importantly like a woman.

Now after 10 months of dating she doesn't try at all anymore. She works in a warehouse and wears my t-shirts almost everyday. Which I understand, I could care less what she looks like for work. But when she gets home she will either keep it on or change into a ratty undershirt, and ripped up shorts. And always wears her hair up. To be frank she dresses like a guy most of the time.

She is a beautiful curvy mixed woman, but you would hardly be able to tell with my oversized shirts, and her hair put up all the time. She will dress up, but only if we are going out or if she is going out with her friends.

I'm not asking her to get all dressed up everyday, I just would like her to wear girls clothes, or even her own clothes. I just don't find it sexy.

I told her this once, and she got really upset. Said that she doesn't care that I wear the same jeans all the time. I said, at least I dress like a guy. She didn't like that one, ha. When we talked about it, she had said she could go find a guy who doesn't mind. But then she realized that if she was single again she would dress differently to attract a man, so I think she got my point.

I love my girlfriend. But seeing her in my clothes all the time isn't really a turn on. If she would only just wear her own clothes I wouldn't have a problem. She has complained about our lack of sex lately, but in all honesty she doesn't turn me on like she used to partly because of the way she dresses. When she is girl'd out I can't keep my hands off her.

Am I being an asshole? I get where she is coming from, but I also don't think I am out of line. Not saying I am the best dressed, but I doubt she would like it if I was wearing her skinny jeans everyday. Or if I started wear


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Most Helpful Girl

  • You're not an asshole. You just aren't viewing it from both sides.

    From your side, she does a manly job, she has her income, why doesn't she wear her stuff? Why doesn't she try and be girly in her own time?

    From her viewpoint, she's constantly tired, she doesn't feel feminine and she wants to feel be comfortable and flump. Your clothes are bigger, she wants to relax and doesn't want to worry about how she looks.

    I think you need to suggest date nights. A reason for her to get dressed up. Even if it's a night in with candles, give her that reason to be beautiful. Take her shopping, buy her baggy clothes for herself.
    Yeah okay it's a crap situation. But you have the potential to be a very good boyfriend for the (sort of) right reasons. Remind her she's a woman. Treat her like one and she will look like one.

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    • No I get it. I realize why she doesn't want to be dressed up all the time. I'm not judging her for that, I get it, but at the same time. It's what I am attracted to and I can't help that.

      We are both pretty broke right now because I have to pay for everything until she pays off some traffic bills. So the date night and shopping will have to be put on hold for now. But maybe we can find some free stuff, like the art museum of the zoo. Thanks for the advice.

    • I completely understand. I've been an apprentice on £2.73 an hour for 2 years with a second job, working 6 days a week. My boyfriend earns 2 and a half times as much as me a month so things like this fell to him. But quite often, we would buy dinner, even if it was pasta and garlic bread, put on a film and candles and cuddle. I'm paid more now as of this month, but I get it.

      I'm just saying, a date night in can be cheap. Even supermarket microwave popcorn and Doritos can be a nice date night.

      A date night can be as cheap as £3 per person, but it's important to get that mood. Music, film, food, can't go wrong. Date night doesn't have to be a fancy restaurant. My first 3 dates with my boyfriend were him cooking for me.

Most Helpful Guy

  • You should start dressing like a woman and see how she likes it, if she doesn't like it than tell her you feel the same when she dresses like a man.

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    • Ha, I have been thinking about that. Though I like dressing like a guy so... Also she is bisexual so not sure if that would backfire or not, ha!

    • Than their is a good chance she might like it and expect you to dress as a woman more often.

What Girls Said 10

  • Get her some sexy or cozy pajamas or lounge wear (like yoga pants). Old Navy has really cute & girly pajama shorts and pants and sexy tops that are also comfortable for at home wear or casual out and about wear.

    I'm speaking from the experience of wanting to be comfortable at home, but also still look sexy for my man (he likes girly girl style too).

    For extra kicks, you could also pick out a sexy nightie for her... they look good on anyone

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  • Letting yourself go is never attractive. I think it's a reasonable request to want her to dress up only for you every once in a while... I mean if she already does it for her gril friends it's not too much to ask for.

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  • I think she may be feeling very content and relaxed with you & the relationship, therefore has entered into the 'comfort zone'. Maybe you guys need to bring about some changes &, introduce new things in your relationship to rekindle that enthusiasm & passion. She may be in a boring routine and just trying to get on with life. Plan a mini break /vacation somewhere. When at home, take out some of her clothes from her wardrobe and lovingly tell her you want to see her wearing this or that. If you actually make the little effort, she might respond to it too... :-)

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  • Take her somewhere so she has a reason to get dressed up and look nice for you

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  • Buy her some victoria secret sweat pants... It's not that hard.

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  • I don't think you are being an a****le

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  • She is comfortable around you know. It's a good sign.

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  • The "bait and switch" is what happens in most relationships. Both guys and girls do this. Girls tend to do this on a visual level and guys tend to do this on a mental/verbal level. They'll be everything you're looking for until they get what they want (i. e. sex or a relationship)

    Guy Example: Says he's adventurous, extrovert, and spontaneous. After becoming official or getting sex all of that stops.

    Girl Example: Wears makeup and dresses to impress. After becoming official or getting whatever she wants stops dressing to impress an wearing makeup.

    You have a right to be upset. If I was dating a guy and he did that once we became official it becomes obvious what he presented to me before was for show. The only way I would say you were being unreasonable is if she dressed like that all the time when you first started dating but since she didn't then she's in the wrong.

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  • Your an asshole if you really like her you will don't mind what she is wearing. My boyfriends let me wearing all I want I wear sweatpants and hoodie the most of time and he doesn't have any problem with it. I think your really immature and selfish.

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    • Where you wearing that stuff while in the dating phase with your current boyfriend?

    • @SilenRose I wear it everywhere, why is the problem with that?

  • just let her be!

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What Guys Said 3

  • Hey, I'd like to say that there's a possible chance (but you must have the courage to ask your partner yourself) if there's a possible chance that they're a trans-man. I think this may be the case because I went through such a stage too and now I know my gender identity.
    Either way, if your partner says something like 'No, where the hell did you get that idea from?' then that isn't an issue.
    If your partner is indeed a guy, be supportive. People with differing gender identities have no control over what sex they're assigned at birth and usually try to keep their real selves hidden in order to find a partner.
    Your partner may be dropping hints as to their identity. If in doubt, just ask about that and see if they know what transgender, gender queer or gender diverse means and see if you can put a label on their identity if your partner isn't a cis girl. The internet is your best friend so do some research,
    If your partner just likes wearing men's clothes in general, try to see if maybe they won't object to masculine style clothes that hug at their best assets and show off their great body. Basically, I'm talking a cute tomboy style that'll suit both of you. There's plenty of different styles for assigned female people who love their bodies but don't like wearing girly clothes. Think tight masculine shirts and skinny jeans with a rip here and there, designed to flatter a curvy butt.
    I hope this helps. Go for it!

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  • Make her relax... nd give her a good sex buy buying her right clothes.

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  • Well, just take of the clothes and get turned on.

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