If you are unhappy single, then you'll be unhappy in a relationship. Agree or disagree?

http://www.girlsaskguys.com/relationships/a11119-it-s-okay-to-be-single

S
tated in @ozanne lovely take here. Do you agree with this statement or no?

  • I agree, if you are unhappy being single, you will be unhappy in a relationship
    52% (15)29% (6)42% (21)Vote
  • I disagree, if you are unhappy being single, being in a relationship just might make you happy
    28% (8)52% (11)38% (19)Vote
  • It depends (please say)
    20% (6)19% (4)20% (10)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Not nessesarily

    I think if a persons reasons for being unhappy when single revolve around feeling alone and undesirable then if they end up in a relationship with the right person those issues of feeling alone and undesirable will be remedied.

    Keywords "right person"

    Just getting into a relationship with the first person you meet isn't going to help. However if it's with someone you have a genuine connection with I do think it can get rid of your unhappiness.

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    • hmmm i can't help but agree with you here on some level. But one may say that unhappiness is what prevents people from getting into relationships whereas happiness in a person can help. So maybe hide that unhappiness when trying to date? not sure what the answer is there

    • Oh definitely, if you seem miserable and are hard to be around you will repel potential mates.

      So you'd either have to somewhat mask your unhappiness or find a partner who is very nurturing or perhaps another person who is somewhat unhappy and then you can help each other.

What Girls Said 14

  • If a person wants a relationship in order to feel worthy or beautiful, then that relationship will probably fail or face many obstacles. Because the average person can't fix the damage that person has gone through.

    People who are simply lonely and ready for a relationship will probably do fine in one.

    But people who are hungry for validation of their worth will fail in the relationship or cause the other person to become a crutch, which most people don't want to be and can't be.

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    • Yeah I think I fall into the lonely category... From time to time.

    • And I get that. Human love and affection is a basic need. You're smart and funny. You'll do great in a relationship. You will find a nerdy woman :)

  • Agree. You can't put stock in someone else being able to make you happy in your unhappiness is deeply rooted in yourself.

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  • But if you are completely happy not being in a relationship why would you ever get into one? Just to have kids? I think most of us can be relatively happy alone, but still feel like something is missing. That's how I am at least. And I need to have a relationship to feel that other kind of love that your friends and family can't give you, that romantic love. And sex, I want sex but don't want to just have a friends with benefits or casual sex.

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    • "But if you are completely happy not being in a relationship why would you ever get into one?" If you ever meet someone you feel you absolutely bond or click with perhaps the idea of being in a relationship with them will be an attractive option for you. otherwise you wouldn't want it.

  • Not really... cannot be 100% true.

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    • if you're unhappy being single, how can being in a relationship make you happy?

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    • But as others say, if you're only source of happiness is in someone else, that can be disastrous if that person were to be abusive or cheat. They may be more likely to forgive or bear with these things than people that are happy with themselves.

      What do you think?

    • It can be opportunity for them to move on get the thrill of new relationship... doesn't necessarily means they were unhappy singles.. plus what you said is th st they will not be happy in a relationship and that is not true.

  • Sometimes being single is better because you need to find yourself before entering a relationship. Sometimes being single is only miserable because you do yearn for a relationship and you do want to settle down and when you get in one (with the right person) then you are a happy camper.

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  • Well the sentence doesn't really make much since. Considering it says if you're unhappy single wouldn't being in a relationship make you happy because that's exactly what you want?

    But I do understand what she's saying/what she meant. You cany be satisfied whether you're single or in a relationship until you're happy or satisfied with yourself or your life first and dating someone isn't going to change that.

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  • I completely agree withlovely auntie @Ozanne :)

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  • So true ^^^^

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  • Yeah, I agree I'm already unhappy being single so I guess I'll be unhappy in a relationship too :/

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  • I disagree. Humans are not solitary creatures, we get depressed if we go too long without a relationship, or at least sex. So obviously, if you are unhappy because you're lonely, getting a relationship will fix that.

    Anyone who says otherwise, has not been single for longer than 10 years, unless by choice.

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  • yeah i guess so
    but there are some exceptions, some people really change when they are in relationship
    they become very happy :)

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  • it depens... I have pretty good life, i got a job, i study, i got an apartment, i got friends.. but the i feel like something is missing in my life, a boyfriend.

    I dont need a boyfriend to be happy, but i want one.. and when i can't get one i can't help but feel a bit discuraged or feel like its something wrong with me.

    So yeah, it depends on the person i guess

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  • Yes, I do.

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  • yeah i agree.

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What Guys Said 5

  • This is a big "it depends", sometimes a person can come into your life and revitalize your spirit like a kickstart setting off an engine. I can't say this applies to everyone but when I'm dating someone, I try to make sure I'm confident in what I'm doing. That analyzing of my self lets me be the best I can be for the other person. From the past relationships I've had, I changed as a person (for the better i think) as I learned from them. It really depends who you are as a person to begin with. I'm sure some of you are alone and that loneliness makes them sad and it's a never ending cycle until you realize you have to get out there and meet people.

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  • generally, I feel that is true for the most part. if your happiness relies on a partner then your drive only comes from them, and that is pretty fucking stupid.

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  • Not necessarily. I've never been close to someone and it of course gets me down. And the more time passes, the more down I am (I don't show it of course). Does that mean that I will never be happy in a relationship? No. It would make me extremely happy and boost my spirit.

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    • but one would say that the real reason you are depressed is that ultimately you just aren't happy with yourself and that unhappiness can repel someone from wanting to date you. therefore its important to work on and be happy with yourself first before you get into any kind of relationship.

      What do you think?

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    • So then what you need here is to meet new friends? be more social?

    • Yes that is what I need admittedly. But it's easier said than done. I have absolutely no idea how you're supposed to do it.

  • I think people need to learn what makes them happy and to be self reliant before a relationship. If your SO is constantly needing you to cheer them up it gets really hard for both people involved.

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  • it depends on both people, are they compatible?

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    • two scenarios
      A: they are
      B: they are not

      whats your response to both?

    • If they can understand each other, they will be happy
      if they can't,.. they will not... so compatibility is good factor as i think

      but also you are right relationship does not make someone happy

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