Dating Women With Kids?

Guys just a heads up. If your thinking of dating someone who has kids. Think twice. Think what is the possibility that you will marry this person. Think. Ask yourself, do I have the toughness it takes to raise someone else's kids? What drama will I have to endure w/an ex. What's our time together going to be if I want this relationship to work? Consider the ages of these kids. Old good, young not so good. These are key questions you must ask yourself. Because things my start off fine. Than they take a turn. The kids don't lesson to you or the parent. The time together gets shorter and shorter. Than what trouble will be lent to that?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I totally agree with you and I will not date a man with young kids. It really does cause a lot of "concerns" for some people. I have an 18 and 15 year old and I have come accustom to the bit of freedom that I finally earned. Dealing with a boyfriends' 2 or 3 year old? Not me, I am not trying to be a mother or mother figure or babysitter or nanny...all over again. I am out of the stage of wet ones and snotty noses and I won't feel bad about it. It's a big responsibility dating someone with small kids and I don't want anything to do with it therefore, I only date guys with kids around my kids age or guys that don't have any and don't want any. Well, that's how I feel about dating with small children!

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    • Plus I think if you have small children your priority should be the kids themselves, not dating.

What Girls Said 2

  • I am sorry but what you are saying is kind of like a cop out. Everything is got to be easy. A man who has to think hard like you about being with someone he cares about even if she has kids just wants it easy. I am a single parent of 2 kids. Yeah I got it hard. I do have a boyfriend in my life. We have been dating for a year. He loves me and he expects that its going to be a bumpy ride. He has been there for my kids through the ups and downs. Why because he loves me and he didn't think twice about pursing me because I have kids.He communicates with them well. that my friend is a real man, a man that can face challenges and not have his back to them. If it was me "the single one" and he had the children I would do the same for him, why because I love and I am willing to face the challenges and expectations of parenting with him.

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    • Hey Pearl, To me this is not a cop out. Some men who have already had kids, maybe would see it in a different light as a man that hasn't. When you start dating a women with kids. What is the first thing that happens. There's a constant pull on the women for attention on both sides. Usally because the kids are use to only having mom. Than mom has to find away to seperate the time between them. Its like when a new baby comes in the house. You know what I'm saying. The resentment is there.

    • Its not easy,is what I am saying. A lot of guys and gals think that life is suppose to be easy. they dodge situations that they think they can't handle. So basically anytime sumthin comes up they got to run instead of facing it.

  • You have some good points, but sometimes those relationships work. My brother has been married to his wife for 5 years, and she has four kids. Two were young when he first began dating her, and two were older. At the beginning of the relationship she didn't bring him around right away, and it was easier t share the attention because they worked together. All of her kids live with her, and do want attention, but it's shared very equally.

    They appreciate my brother because they think their mom deserves someone since she's been raising them on her own for a while. The older kids dad died of cancer when they were quite young, and the other kids dads were very abusive. They definitely make it easy because they don't want another abusive guy around.

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What Guys Said 4

  • In these scenarios, you're not dating the children, your dating the mother.

    Be respectful that you are not their father; however, try to provide a structure for them. All kids are rebellious little sh*t storms, but we love them none-the-less (especially our own).

    If people don't want kids - that's fine (But this falls under a different category).

    Speak with the mother and say "The kids are young, but I would like to help guide them through life by giving them some structure to follow, would that be okay - or do you prefer raising them yourself?" Chances are, she will allow you to "second"-father them

    Teach the kids what fun is - and they will grow a bond with you

    Teach them what mannors are and set an example for them.

    Teach them patience and show them how that applies

    Teach them caring and show them what that would be like.

    Let them know that what they are doing is disappointing to you, but you still care about them

    Utilize positive and negative reinforcement to guide these children through life- but hold your composure. If the kid says "(I) hate you" then don't scream it back to them; intsead, let them know that this hurt your feelings and that it's not okay in a respectful voice. Then when they are behaving better - give them more attention.

    Best regards,

    ArtistBBoy

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  • Oh man I like this question because it applyies to me too. But iam 24 and this girl iam dating just turned 18 with a 1 year old baby boy. The ex/baby father is a thug mug mofo,he is very possive and very controling. As for us being young, iam always told not to mess with her, she has a kid that's drama, everything I hear is just negitive. And I started to have second thoughts about it too, but I just disregard it as a negative thoughts and try to think of possitive ones. A true man will find a way to make it workout no matter what, and he will not run away from the problem. For me right now I've haven't seen her ex yet, she's trying not to have me meet him but I already know that's nearly impossable. I could get into a whole speal of my situation, the fact is that iam going to keep pushing forward with her. Seem like your asking this question because your thinking of backing down? No do that! It would be easier too though wouldn't it. Shell adore you more if you are willing to face thies problem/opisticles with her. Sry iam rambling random things agian. Good luck to you man.

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    • Hey ryan, it wasn't really a question. Its more of a comment. I've done the marry women with kids twice. In my exprience. if you do it young enough, as you it works out . Due to the fact that you will all grow together. This is mainly for those getting back into the dating scene. You've raised your own, now your having to possible raise some else's. This can prove to be a challenge.

    • Opps sry,you are older so you would know better than me. Come on you marked me down, youmarked artistBboy down to. I was kind of trying to relate to some of the things you discribed and could ues some wisdom too you know.

  • Your opinion is noted. But I strongly disagree. A woman with children, while more restrictive in her dating ability, is just as desirable as any single woman. It just takes a much more mature man, who knows what he's getting himself into. Everyone deserves happiness, children or not.

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  • Not to mention the fact that even if she's just your girlfriend, courts can rule (they have) that at an arbitrary point you've become a "father figure" to the kids and hello child support. Yes, you read that correctly. Child support for some other guy's kids.

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