I can't talk to girls I like, find attractive or could date. What do I do?

I try but can't make sentences out. I can only talk normally to girls I'm not attracted, know have boyfriends or know that I could never date because of circumstance, and an easily becine acquaintances with girls like these. What do I do? I basically can't be normal around girls I have a chance of dating, eliminating all possibility. My friends say I have to be flirty and be brave and ask girls out but I can't even make out sentences.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • The only thing you can actually do is keep trying. Girls are not much different from guys.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • You might feel like it's a bad thing, but being nervous to talk to a girl you really like is a good sign that you're really interested in her. On the other hand, it can be extremely difficult to work around if you can't even talk to them. One of the best ways to get around that is to realize the truth. And the truth is, girls are people too. They fall in love, feel pain, known loneliness, have hopes, dreams and fears. You're afraid of them not of who they are, but what they might think about you. But I have good news. This fear is mutual. Girls get really nervous when a guy, especially if they think the guy could be special, comes up and talks to them.
    If you're wanting to meet girls, I would bring along a wing-man to back you up. This is better if you have a female friend to come with you. She could walk up with you during the introduction. This will accomplish an environment of ease for both you and the girl your going to ask out. For you, since you're with a friend, it makes it easier. For the girl, it makes it easier to want to talk to you since she's seeing you with another girl. After your friend who is a girl walks away, ask her if she'd like to go out some time. Practice, as many people have said to you, will make things a little better. I once spent three hours rehearsing a message I was going to leave on a girl's voicemail since I didn't think she's answer a number she didn't recognize. She answered so I had to change from leaving a message to talking to her. This was almost three weeks ago. I'm almost thirty and it is still a struggle sometimes. But don't give up. If you have any more questions, or need any more advice, feel free to shoot me a message and I'll offer any advice I have.

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    • I don't have any female friends anymore.

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    • Yes.

    • But all that is easier said than done. Not necessarily initiating but maintaining friendships.

What Girls Said 1

  • Force yourself to talk to them. Stop thinking about chances, focus on talking and overcoming anxiety.

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    • I try but it's hard. I start sweating, shaking, I can't speak in sentences & I make a fool out of myself.

What Guys Said 2

  • actually it's not weird. it happens around people u find attractive. that's y u act nervous. so i believe best u can do's to pretend they r just friends of urs or one of da gals u won't date. i mean talk to 'em like how u'd talk to a gal u don't find attractive... and da moe u get to know each other... da more comfortable around her u'll become... and ask her out after some point ;)

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    • That's what I try. But still I subconsciously know I'm trying to get with her & my brain goes full retard.

    • needs some practice... imagine u r an actor bro ;)

  • You need to replace can't with can. What you say to yourself does make a difference.

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