We seem to have everything in common, but he's christian and I'm an atheist?

So there's this guy I met, he seems really sweet, he sings and we're into the same music. It seems like a great match. Except I saw looking through his facebook and he's pretty religious (christian I think) and it seems like a part of his life but he is very liberal and he's not the conservative type, which I like a lot. But I'm a strict athiest. The type who loves Cosmos, read the God Delusion and other books written by Richard Dawkins, like there's no part of me that could be religious because I believe the bible is man-made and holds a lot of inconsistencies. Anyways, I clearly feel strongly about it and I've never dated a religious guy. Do you think this will be a deal breaker for him? Or in your experience, can people with completely different religious views/anti-religious views date with no problems? Thanks.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Ask yourself, "If he ever brought up God or anything religious, would I fight him on it?" Have you ever argued with a Christian about his beliefs compared to yours? If the answer is yes, (assuming it would be with a statement like "I'm a strict atheist") find yourself another man. You two are going to hate each other real fast if you're going to make a comment about his beliefs whenever he brings it up and vice versa.

    I have had girlfriends that would take me to their Bible studies and Masses and I listened and participated as if I was Christian. I have had other girlfriends give me lectures about how god isn't real for this and that reason and I listened and talked as if I was an atheist.

    I'm agnostic, so for me, its just another belief on something no one knows anything about. I always talk and listen to people though as if I were a part of their religion cause I feel its better to get a wider perspective on different ideas and ways of thinking than shoving everything off to the side for your own. If you and this guy are both not going to respect each other's different perspectives, its not going to work.

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    • I've learned about all other religions, so thats good but I'm definitely the type who will show how easy it is to disprove things in the bible.. so if I comes up I'll be saying something thats for sure.

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    • "... showing someone a more truthful view, if anything they need it." said every person that forces their religion onto others ever. "Most religious folks are religious because their parents are." Nice stereotype. Like you had the choice to become an atheist, they had a choice to follow Hinduism, Christianity, whatever.

      They talk about their religion, yeah... but most Christians just talk about it. Not once in the bible studies that I went to did they try and 'convert' me. They just discussed the lessons you should take out of the book. No moderate will care about your whatever-number inconsistencies, cause most christians realize a 2000+ year old book written in a different time and society will not look too great today without some rough edges.

      You aren't talking about your perspective, you are going out of your way to force your beliefs onto someone else. *That* is what's disrespectful.

    • Their religion is the only true one, you're a sinner.

Most Helpful Girl

  • If he's strongly religious and you have no desire to participate in his religion, then it would most likely be a deal breaker. I'm sure he'd still be friends with you, but I doubt he would want a romantic relationship if he knew your opinions about religion.

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    • Yeah if he tries to persuade me to it, I'm saying HELL NO.

    • Hmm, you could always give it a shot, but I don't think it would work out in the long run. I'm sure the majority of his friends and family are probably religious as well, and I feel like that would be awkward/uncomfortable for an atheist to be surrounnded by people they disagree with..

    • Plus, religious grandparents are the worst at trying to convert people. My grandparents are religious (as well as myself and my family), but even I can admit they go a little crazy against ideas/people who don't agree with them, whether it's about religion or what the weather's going to be like tomorrow.

What Guys Said 9

  • Anything is possible. And it depends on what you both feel is right. If he doesn't mind and you don't mind, I see no reason why you two can't date. Truthfully, dating someone who has a different religious belife system can put a strain on the relationship, but nothing is impossible. My last girlfriend was devout Buddhist and I'm LDS, but we dated for 4 years. In my view, if you love someone, you need to pick what is important. Are they important, or your constant need to prove you're right when really, neither of you can prove the other wrong? I'm rooting for you two

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  • Dating is no problem, children getting brainwashed into religion is something you must accept. No choice.

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    • No I would never accept that with my children, childhood indoctrination is wrong.

    • No believer accepts that his/ her children are "deprived of the "only true spiritual food and morals": they'd burn eternally in Hell without salvation. ^_^
      Only atheist let their children burn.

  • It certainly will be a problem at least at some point down the road, for instance, what if you want children, and he wants them to become Christian and go to church with him, but you want them to be atheists. But its up to you, wether or not its worth the struggle.

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  • I'm a liberal christian. This is probably something you two should talk about before you two go too far. I personally wouldn't mind dating an athiest, if she respected me I would respect her. You don't necessarily need to agree on everything, just listen to each other. You may agree on more than you think.

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  • It can work but the both of you will have to be very good at agreeing to disagree. The topic will come up, it's inevitable, and you are going to have many many disagreements. If you can deal with that, no problem.

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    • My parents had the same issue. My dad and his parents were very strict catholics. I was baptised because of it (I was less than a year old, please don't hold it against me). My mum and her family strictly atheist. I went to a catholic school until the age of 12 ish. I turned out alright in the end :)

  • If that's not a problem with either of you, get together

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    • If you two have children, let them choose their own religion if any

  • you will just have to suck it and see

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  • Yes, it will be a deal breaker.

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  • People with different philosophies, religions, and political views get together... even married with family... so, you can definitely make something of this.

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What Girls Said 4

  • If he is serious about his faith then yes, it will probably lead to some issues if not now, then later on down the road. There will probably be things that you aren't comfortable with as well. Religions hold a lot of traditions, customs, holidays, etc. that you probably will not want to partake in with him. When you think about it long-term, if you were to get married, he would likely want a religious ceremony. If you had kids, he would want them to learn his religion while you may not. So, it may work out for a little while but problems will mostly likely arise in the future.

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  • I'm not religious but my ex was, and he never mentioned christianity. The only thing that he would mention was going to church on sundays. I think it's only difficult when you date a strict christian (one that puts religion down your throat) and having children can be a problem even if it's a regular Christian and especially when the parents are Christian because they will more then likely want their children/grandchildren to be involved in the religion.

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  • I'm Christian too and that would never be a problem to me. If he has a problem with you being atheist, it's his lose on both fields- romantic and spiritual.

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  • I don't think religion matters that much.

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