Is someone who is insecure about their inexperience a turnoff?

If someone was inexperienced with being romantic or physical and insecure about that inexperience, would that be a turnoff to you?

  • Yes; I want someone who is confident in what they're doing and isn't insecure about it.
    Vote A
  • Yes; I don't want to be with someone inexperienced.
    Vote B
  • No; I understand and want to help them become work through it.
    Vote C
  • No; I'm the same way, and their inexperience would make me more comfortable, even.
    Vote D
  • Other/Results
    Vote E
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy


Most Helpful Guy

  • Personally I prefer it this way because I'm a bit insecure myself and if the girl is the same way then that takes the pressure off me. I also just find it really cute. My ex was a virgin and I had only about 2 weeks worth of experience (5 months before that). It's never a good feeling knowing that you are in the spotlight and knowing that people have these prerequisite expectations from you. Most people will understand if you tell them you're new to it though. If you don't then they might just think you're bad.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Magen the guy I lost my v to told me he was also a virgin I'll admit I want a little disappointed. But it all worked out perfect.
    If I were with a virgin now I think I would love it and I could really feel in control and teach them what to do, and I think a virgin guy would love to be dominated and taken care of his first time haha


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What Guys Said 5

  • At some point, everyone is. And even then, some people are just more confident than others. What two people share is between them and I guarantee one is going to be more 'experienced' than the other. So don't worry about it and just let things come naturally

    • Yeah I don't think making it known whether you're experienced or inexperienced is a good idea because in the end, it doesn't define you. Nobody should like you/dislike you based on how many people you have/have not been with. It's all about personality and character.

      From a guys perspective, if he makes it known that he's a virgin or just inexperienced, it makes it seem like he's desperate to get experience whereas a guy who sleeps around and brags about it seems like he's just trying to add to his scorecard.

    • Show All
    • @bloodmountain1990 I get what you're saying. So, if say I was about to get my first kiss, if I got nervous and warn him that I had never done it before (which sounds like something I would do), would that be a bad thing, then?

    • Nope, because there's no need. Just play it by ear and if it does go bad then you can only improve. That'd be like a girl or even a guy has slept around, do you think they're gonna say oh hey by the way before we have sex, I've slept with 20+ guys/girls. They're not obligated to tell you about their experience and no one is obligated to you about their inexperience. After all, it's no ones business but their own.

  • Honestly, that inexperience would make me feel really comfortable because I don't have any, either.

  • No, your insecurity will be beautiful in your husband's eyes.

    • Actually, I don't believe in marriage. But anyway, how come he'd consider it a good thing?

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    • I believe in many women's heart, if not all, they crave true love, stability, and commitment. These things can be found in a true marriage, where things were done right. Having sex before your honeymoon is the best way to destroy a marriage before it is ever begun. There is no crowning achievement, no height of passion, sex on your honeymoon if you have been doing it wit your fiancee, will be just another time in bed.

      Rather than a night of awkward, perhaps painful passion and lust, that you have never known before, it will be common, same old.

    • I'm asexual and sex-repulsed--I don't feel sexual attraction, and the idea of sex grosses me out. I have no intention of having sex. I realize that finding a romantic partner who is alright with never having sex is going to be a tough task, but that doesn't mean every guy would leave me because I don't want to have sex with him. Also for your information, I'm agnostic. I don't believe in God. I don't specifically not believe in God either. I accept the possibility of a God as much as I accept the nonexistence of one.

  • Absolutely not. Everyone has to be experienced at one point it's plain common sense. If no one gives them a chance then they'll never become experienced or confident.

    • Yeah it's like when I did a bunch of job interviews before my current job that were all entry level and they said they were looking for someone more experienced. So it's kinda the same thing. That'd be like telling a guy/girl she's overqualified (too much experience) so they can't have more.

  • What I've come to find out is experience isn't as much of a big deal as knowing the right things to please a girl/guy. You could be considered great in bed to one but shitty to another person. If you're not compatible and don't get pleased by the same things then it doesn't matter how experienced/inexperienced you are. Just because someone is experienced doesn't mean they're great at sex and just because someone is inexperienced means they're inherently awful.

    I'm not a virgin but I don't have a ton of experience and the last girl I had sex with assumed I've been around. I mean I've made out with tons but only had intercourse/oral with 6. I used to fear it'd be a dealbreaker but what it comes down to is communication, going with what your partner likes and then trying it there. It's gonna be different with each person.


What Girls Said 2

  • Yes, it is a turn off. I do not need someone experienced. I do prefer it. I myself am not all that experienced, however, I am confident and know what I want and what I like. I am knowledgeable about sex and extremely open to new ideas and experiences. So, even if my partner is not that experienced, I want them to act confident.

  • Honey, playing teacher got boring right about third grade.