Am I being a bad boyfriend?

I work 8 to 5. When i get home i'am usualy tired and want to eat then go to sleep. For the past 2 months, Ever since then i tell my girlfriend "i'm tired, we can hangout later". Somedays when i have something else and have to cancel on my girlfriend. Last night i spent time with her and she thinks that i'am not interested in her anymore cause i don't spend time with her anymore. This makes me sad to hear that. I keep telling her that i'am busy and so on. Sometimes i hate to lie to her but in all honesty i just want to sleep sometmes.

Do you think i'am a bad boyfriend? what can i improve on?


0|0
7|2

Most Helpful Girl

  • It's understandable when a guy comes home from work and he is tired.
    I get it!
    We all have those days.

    But when you do it constantly and you do not even make the slightest effort for that person, how can they not feel the way you described?
    When you care about someone,
    as hard as it may be sometimes you go that extra mile for it.
    Because everything seems to be about the way "you" feel you are coming off as a selfish person to your significant other.
    She cannot understand that.

    In every relationship there has to be a healthy balance.
    Have a day or two in the week... that is your day together (with her) no matter what.
    Have the other days be your resting days.

    You can't hang out with her every day... but you CAN make an effort to show her you care.

    If someone is constantly voicing their opinion and the other person does nothing to change... of course she will feel that you don't care about her.

    3|0
    0|0
    • *you go that extra mile for them. (correction)

    • Show All
    • Glad to hear that :)

    • thanks

Most Helpful Guy

  • Be less tired. Come on man, I go to work at 6 in the morning and get home at 4. I have time to do lots of stuff, and I am never too tired to spend time with someone who's company I enjoy. And i worknin a warehouse so im moving around all day. Can't you just talk with her or do something simple?

    0|0
    0|0
    • i will spend more time with her i already made some plans for us

    • That's good. I dunno, I don't seem like a very energetic person most of the time, but I have a lot of endurance and I don't get tired easily when I'm with other people.

What Girls Said 6

  • Ever heard of that little phrase "Actions speak louder than words"?

    This applies in this situation. And why is this only over the last 2 months? What was going on before then?

    Ok, you work. Lots of people do.
    You're tired after work. Lots of people are.
    You have to cancel because of other things. Why do the other things always have to take priority over your GF?
    We can hangout later. You've gone to work, come home, dined, slept. When is later?

    In my view, your are not being a bad boyfriend but you are being a lazy boyfriend because you are not making time when you could. You could perhaps eat together, sleep together, watch a movie together.

    You could have definite date nights for a while whereby every Wednesday, Friday and Saturday are your time together.

    You can change this and make it better between you both by just making a little more effort.

    0|0
    0|0
    • I will make more time for her and get her flowers. i will also dedicate 2 days where it's just me and her every week. I will make sure she feels good again and happy. cause it makes me sad when i called her and she wasn't energetic anymore like she was in the past :( cause when she saw me she would always jump on me and we would have so much fun. Now she doesn't do that anymore. So i will change my ways cause i don't want to lose her

    • Show All
    • Well, why not but, more importantly, she your girl, does she like those things? If yes, then go ahead. Chox and flowers are always a nice idea when kinda apologizing and it helps to show your intent towards making things good again. I think that whatever you do at this point towards making her feel special and your girl again will be a winner.

    • i know what she likes and even she has a couple of spots in the city where she likes to go too, so i will go there. i will make her feel special again

  • Honey, I used to work from 6 to 6 and I still made time for my boyfriend. Prioritize.

    3|0
    0|0
    • can i ask what job you worked?

    • Show All
    • Good plan.

    • yup i realize now that i have to treat her better

  • I would say to break up with your girlfriend.

    She's obviously not a top priority to you, since you're willing to cancel on her.

    You're not a bad person, currently, you just don't have enough time for a girlfriend.

    You've been giving her the same excuse for 2 months dude.

    I think's be fair if she had a boyfriend that gave her enough attention and you don't have to worry about spending time with someone.

    Good luck!

    0|0
    0|0
    • oh no no. i don't want to break up with her. I will spend more time with her. and take her out to dinner and again spend time with her. No more excuses for how tired i'am. i want to see her smile and make her happy again with me.

    • Okay that's good :)

    • i planned something for tonight with her so i will tell her how much i love her and give her roses and chocolate

  • Spend time with her, or she'll probably find another guy who will...

    0|0
    0|0
    • yeah i promised myself (and going to promise her) that i will spend two days a week with her no matter how tired i'am. i will also surprise her soon with a very nice night out and dinner. I don't want to lose her and also it made me sad when she didn't jump on me at the door... cause before this she would be so happy to see me and jump into my arms, the last time she saw me she just said "hey". So now i realize she really misses me. i been thinking about it for like a week now. I don't want to see her with another guy, that will break my heart

    • Show All
    • That's a very very good start

    • i see her soon so i hope she will have that beautiful smile on her face again

  • You aren't being a bad boyfriend. It's just the situation in life you are in that exhausts you and she should try to understand that.
    However, no matter how tired you are, it wouldn't hurt to do some sweet things. It doesn't even have to be hanging out with her. A cute good morning text, a quick 'I love you' or even a surprise box of chocolates for no reason would be nice.

    0|0
    0|0
    • i planned something for tonight with her so i will tell her how much i love her and give her roses and chocolate.

      I will spend more time with her no matter how tired i'am and also send her more texts and so on.

    • That's great! Good luck to you both. =)

    • thanks

  • I think that you should try to see her more. Even if you are tired and want to sleep, you can eat together and cuddle and watch a movie or sleep together. It definitely seems to her like you don't like her anymore. Try texting her more, eating dinner together, watch a movie, ask her to sleep over. You also should think about your health--having low iron can make you tired, being depressed can make you tired, etc. She seems like a good girl, and you need to put some effort in to see her! Don't cancel on her. If she's important to you, show her that she is! A few texts saying you're thinking of her during the day can go a long way.

    0|0
    0|0
    • i will start to do that. She is an amazing girl and she really does put the effort into talking to me. I promised myself (and going to promise her) that i will spend two days a week with her no matter how tired i'am. i will also surprise her soon with a very nice night out and dinner. I don't want to lose her and also it made me sad when she didn't jump on me at the door... cause before this she would be so happy to see me and jump into my arms, the last time she saw me she just said "hey". So now i realize she really misses me. i been thinking about it for like a week now. I don't want to see her with another guy, that will break my heart.

      I will change my ways and if i eat or something i will eat with her and so on. On the phone she seems sad when i speak to her. Today i already texted her i want to hangout with her. I will buy her flowers and chocolate when i go to her house. Do you think roses and chocolate is a good start?

    • Show All
    • That's great! You really care and will be a great boyfriend. Good luck!

    • thanks

What Guys Said 1

  • I would say... If you love this girl...
    Try to spend some with with her... like make plans.. try to spend every time with her.
    I get it... your tired but still don't you prefer cuddling with your gf? Or getting a hot massage from her? I don't know... try to spend time or else she will get fedup :/

    0|0
    0|0
    • i will spend more time with her i already made some plans for us

    • Let her know asap... and make her happy... because I think life has no meaning without happiness and sell for me being with someone... putting someone else's problems front of me is the way :)
      Good luck 👍

    • yup i will, thanks

Loading...