How to not fall for someone?

Hello community!

The question is "How to not fall for someone?"

I'm one of those girls thats a hopeless romantic and sometimes I'm so blind. I only see the good side in people and then I start to like them. And I fantasize about being with them (not in a sexual way) and holding hands and having long talks.

I quickly get feelings for the boys I meet and I don't want that.
I don't want to be desperate and naive.

Has anyone the same problem and can give me advise?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Adorable. The fact is chances are your heart is going to get crushed a couple of times trying to find a hopeless romantic guy like yourself that will care for you as a person as well as being physically attracted to you. That's just a part of the dating world.

    Just know that they have faults. Don't think that those faults will go away or you can change them. You need to rationally look at their faults and see if they're things you can live with. The mistake so MANY girls make is they think they can "fix" a guy when they are way out of their element and one day realize they can't get the guy to change. You have to take a guy as is or find someone else you can learn to love. (Guys generally have the opposite problem of wanting the girl to stay the same and the girl changes).

    Again you'll have heartache but just know you're not alone in that and it doesn't mean you won't find love. You'll make mistakes which is fine. You can learn from those mistakes and use your heartache to grow an even bigger heart that you'll one day share with a lucky guy.

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What Guys Said 1

  • I am the same as you you're only human it's only natural just focus on what's important your family, education and the stuff animals you have. Because you'll only be causing yourself harm if you keep giving your heart to every guy you see and you'll soon get really hurt and you won't be able to give your heart to the right guy

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What Girls Said 1

  • I have the exact same problem, don't worry it's normal, especially at your age. Firstly I'd like to say it's great you look for the good in people and aren't cynical of everyone but secondly you need to be careful to watch for the people who may have things that seem good but in fact have so many other "bad" qualities etc. if this is about liking boys, falling for them and ignoring those bad qualities like anger and selfishness, then be careful. I've been stuck in a relationship before where I thought I was so in love but turned out this controlling angry guy damaged my mental health. Don't let it get to that point. AS SOON AS you have doubts, think it through, ask yourself "why am I having these doubts?" also when you first meet a guy who seems cute, try not to dwell on what could be. Get to know them more, find out what they're like, don't set yourself up for heart break. Good luck :-) and don't worry it's a working progress, I'm still learning!

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